You are beautiful.

Listen you who are misguided too,
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

Regardless of your face or body.

Your personality,
your character,
your heart, your emotions,
your sensitivity to others,
your values & principles,
your goals , your dreams,
your charisma, your nature,
your outlook , your optimism,
your inner being, your gratitude,
your smile, kindness, courage …….
And all of you is what makes you beautiful.

Please don’t let people tell you otherwise.
And please please stay away from people who make you believe that you are not.

I was friends with a person who made it so clear to me that I kinda admitted that beautiful was never going to be my cup of tea. I was a kid who hoped that someone would someday genuinely say it to me. It’s something what people long for. To be told that they are part of the beautiful world.

That’s a thing of the past now. And I really don’t blame anyone. It’s how I was and how I had to grow up to learn to look at beautiful in a different light, different perspectives.
And that’s when I realized the world had different varied visions and perspectives to look at the same things.

It is so difficult for some people to just say something good to someone, to appreciate them, to compliment them, and I mean all this for it’s genuiness, not fake flattery.

We live such shallow lives that are banked on ” I will compliment if she/he compliments. I will talk if she/he approaches.” Everyone is so shelled up and closed and unappreciative towards each other.
Why I wonder?

Go ahead and tell atleast one person how beautiful they are. Observe their reaction. They will have a smile radiating happiness and disbelief. Disbelief because no one says such good things to one another anymore.
Why look for people. Tell your parents and siblings what beautiful people they are.
When you become the reason to make someone happy, you will always be much more happier with yourself.
Beautiful is not the exterior that will go back to dust, beautiful will be that quotient of you that will leave behind a fragrance of fond remembrance even after your last.

Stay beautiful and blest, you brave soul.

Spread on some positivity around.

Keep smiling.

#leeevibes

Sailing through the Storms!

” What does it profit a man to gain the whole wide world , but suffer the loss of his soul ?” Luke 9:25

I’ve been pondering on these lines for quite a while now.

How indeed is it proper ?

To be beautiful , but have an envious heart?

To be smart , but unkind and overly proud?

To be understanding , but only to a few?

To love, but conditions apply?

To give , but to want in return?

To make-believe that you are good , but beneath the facade lies a monster?

To hesitate with generosity,

To be clever, but not wise?

To grow into something more, wanting more, because less does not suffice anymore?

To hope, but have doubts?

To smile, whilst having a weary soul?

To dream, but not strive to achieve them?

To expect , but not do?

To cry and want a shoulder, but never wipe anyone’s tears?

To let go, but not forgive?

To be happy , but not fight your storms?

To be rich, but have a poor spirit?

To be nice to the world, but disobey one’s own parents?

To want a crown of glory , but not the responsibility?

To wish to be a child again, but not grow into an example for your child to follow?

 

How indeed it would feel to have all my wants and desires fulfilled? to never have pain? Never walk through storms? Never  meet trying people? Never see through the masks of many?

How would it feel to never know what feeling sad, depressed, demotivated is like? To have  low self-esteem,  to feel weary, dull and exhausted? To want to keep to oneself and stay away from bitter and good people? How would it feel to not know how to appreciate these storms of life? To not know the power of overcoming the hurdles? To not know what it really takes to become strong? To not know our limits of acceptance and patience whilst we are being shaped in the furnace? To not melt down into a puddle but be shaped into a stronger vessel?

How would it feel to not know the worth of sweating and every penny we earn? To not know that giving away something always and always fetches you silent blessings and smiles worth any treasure in the world?

Without the anxiety and sadness would you still know what happiness meant?

Would you  appreciate the growth in yourself after a deep struggle? Would you know the wisdom a storm delivers you that no book can teach you or warn you about?

Through depression, would you  have really understood how a small word of appreciation, motivation, a mere push or a smile could actually work wonders?

Sometimes it is through experience that we learn the greatest lessons of life. Some which your parents and elders warned you about , but you turned deaf. It is only when it so happens to us, that we begin to understand the complexities and simpleness of every life situation.

 

“I believe in you; and I want you to believe in yourself.

You indeed LIVE ONLY ONCE. So revive your drooping spirit,

Make truckloads of memories, fight and be victorious through storms.

Do not seek to gain wealth and the treasures of the world, but seek that- that would nourish your soul.

Be kind and kindness will follow you everywhere.

Motivate and appreciate and respect people, and you will have followers.

Be generous and you shall receive a bounty of blessings.

Be good, because the world needs  goodness.

PEOPLE ARE NOT BAD, THEY ARE WEAK. It is WEAKNESS that makes us  NEGATIVE.

We always have a choice to either be strong or weak. Choose wisely.

Be sensitive, so you remain human.

If you want success, never be ruthless ( now hey! You don’t want your spirit tarnished and no curses right?)

Success needs no competition, no crown of glory; it is a feeling of fulfilment that you have indeed achieved and that’s just it, not at the cost of jeopardising others.

Success should not make you greedy, just like rich people wanting to get richer. Sometimes you have to learn to remember when it is enough. To be happy with what you have.

Tell me- where will you take it all? Into your grave? For your future generations? WHY  ?? Do you really believe that they are incapable of sustaining themselves? Or do you never want them to taste all flavours of life and let them decide what they prefer? Stop making your generations lazy.

Do give your children more of that- that would help them face storms, to be strong, and support them whilst they go after their dreams- no matter how lame you think they are, they hold value in their vision. Even if they do mistakes ,help them grow through them.

If there’s anyone who tells me that they are the same person they were a decade back, all I can say  is that “ Dear , I feel sorry that you haven’t grown through the decade, because if  you would have, you would never be the same person- you would be either 10 times better or worse.”

Sometimes you gotta listen to your instincts. Take a leap, if that’s what its telling you.

No matter how deep your fear or downfall, you will lend somewhere, and gradually you will learn to rise above all.

You definitely need to plan and methodise your life. But sir! Don’t restrict yourself to your schedule so much that you forget to live life. Don’t be a workaholic, that your family would have to beg for a time slot .

Work hard, be efficient , become indispensable; BUT try not to get stuck in one place. Indulge in variety of tasks and you will learn to savour the flavours of success. Learning is indeed a beautiful process that adds to your intellect and knowledge. But it is only the storms and trials of life that will help you gain wisdom and stand tall  in jubilation after the battles.

“Life is a journey from one port to another, my ship won’t harbour in one place for too long. Because I need to set sail, move forward, navigate through different routes, prepare for storms sudden and unsudden, keep my mind calm in the most abnormal hours, experience the tides of life. And if my ship ever sinks, I need to learn to swim and surf through the mighty waves until my spirit says otherwise.”

“ My life is a journey to restore my soul.”

 

 

And Atlast I see the Light

“And Atlast I see the light, it’s like the fog has lifted
And atlast i see the light, its like the sky is new .  “

Ever since my friend mentioned this :
“We are so much like bulbs, overthinking can kill us”
I kept staring at one.

I watched it work smoothly, lighten the space around me.
And I watched it go nuts during a storm. On and off,
dancing to the tantrums of the currents.
And then just as suddenly it came alive,  it exploded.
That’s when I realised this :

Aren’t we exactly the same sometimes?
We work smoothly with all our energies when we have the same weird routines every day , life becomes so monotonous.

But when there’s a disturbance in the frequencies of our daily schedules like for instance a storm (problems) or unwanted changes in life, there’s too much resistance on our part and too much pressure in life.
And then if we dont give in, we break apart and cramble down into desolation.
And if we do give in, and move on casually, its ok for a while…but we fail to remember that problems will occur time and again.

Life is never monotonous. 

Our mind is a very complex part of our whole-self. It can be sectioned into various compartments. But I’ll go with three or rather two:
Emotional and Rational (psychological aspect)
And physical.
We do know that EMOTIONS, THOUGHTS and MOOD SWINGS are like the stubborn Triplets,  bonded together 

and hell! They can do a lot of damage, if you dont know how to control them.

What you THINK you FEEL, and how you feel you ACT.

If you can’t control your thoughts, then your emotions will be all over the place , your behaviour will be catastrophic and undesirable to you and those around.

So learn to control the triplets.  Think good, no pressure, no over thinking,  no negative vibes,
Stop if you feel drained, give yourself a break, 
Be with people who give you good vibes and help you relax,
Watch people who fascinate you,
Close your eyes and remember the one thing that made you smile today
Or yesterday.

Feel that joy, focus and let it slide into your emotinal being and your silly moody sister will be smiling and all bubbly.
Train the triplets to work a healthy way,  and do not let them 
Work you up into a ball of pessimism.

Physically,  there’s a lot we can do for our mind.
How? We all know the answer – exercise.

Some of us will be like “hah! That’s lame now.”
Trust me, even a nice long walk,  inhaling some fresh air,  can do wonders.
Have you ever reached a point where you are exhausted by your workout and your mind (Miss Thoughts) says “that’s it, no more. “???
What have you done then?
Your trainer will push you farther and force you to not give in. Think for your self :

What if you didn’t give in? What if you walked the extra mile? 
What if you can? 

Our mind is in resistance mode and it’s upto us now to make a choice.
If you do happen to walk further,there’s a moment of pain,  alil inner struggle , and slowly it fades away… And once you have finished walking that extra mile…
How do you feel? Isn’t it refreshing?  Like you did it? Isn’t breaking through your inner resistance a wonderful feeling? 

You feel really really good. You didn’t just work your body here, you did something for your mind too. I won’t get all scientific with the blood rush to your brain and stimulating cells of your body and a fluidity in your metabolism and all..
But I’ll just say,  you just helped a pulsating under pressure brain to relax and calm down, you gave your feelings a positive boost and inturn Miss moody will now be smiling….AGAIN… woww! seems like Miss moody gets to smile more and more..

Overthinking can be exhausting. Stop it.
Feelings can be pichy. Stop it.
Our behaviour can be cruel.  Stop it.
Stop one. You stop the three. 
Train one, you influence the three. 
Keep your mind relaxed, refreshed,  resistance free and full of positive good vibes.

Stay happy.  Live blissfully. Be grateful. 

Reborn to Life!!

For all those still struggling to breathe and just live without dreading the worst, let me tell you … “the torture won’t last long. It will be over before you know it. But if you still haven’t caught your sails and changed your directions, then life will. There will be this moment when you will feel like your dead, or you’ve lost the battle. The moment you will finally give up of holding onto whatever that you are enduring. The moment when you don’t have to agree or disagree with your heart and mind. Because they both are in sync again. The moment when you are REBORN. You are awakened. You have just restarted your life engine.  And Oh! what a joy indeed this is. No longer silence will depress you. No longer will you be enslaved to agony. no longer will you compromise on your soul’s happiness. It doesn’t matter what they say : very often you will hear- “Look at you, you have changed. ”  I wouldn’t want to ponder in what sense they say it. Because I know “ I HAVE CHANGED”. A change that touched me like a ray of light. and now I manifest and ask the universe to be kind – and it does. It makes me wanna glow and hold on to the light within me. I love this change. All I want to do now is sing:

“I am my sunshine, my only sunshine

I can be happy , when the skies are grey..

You’ll never know dear   – how much I love me,

Oh you can’t take my sunshine away.

yes, you can’t take my sunshine away!”

When you are certain of what you resemble to your own inner self, when you have peace and tranquillity within. When you are in control of what you think and what you feel, When there are no “ifs” any-more to worry about. You have achieved something great and wonderful. What do you think that is?? You have achieved a fine and unique vision for your life. You know what has been and you know that whatever shall be before you , you shall be fine. No storm lasts longer than the time it needs to pass. Everything never is stuck. Its all in motion. Whether we like it or not “Moving forward with time” is how life is. Rewinding or fast-forwarding life has never been an option. Living in an anti-clock wise timed world isn’t reality. The past is a historic encyclopaedia naturally present like a micro-chip in our brain. Refer to it only when you wish to remember the best moments of your life , and fill your heart with gladness; or refer in-case you need a quick re-understanding of a life lesson learnt. Refer not to it- to wrong your future or compromise with your present. When you have a faith -i.e; strong and encouraging you to live life with a smile, your spirit is in well-being. The very knowledge of what was unbearable, strengthens you further and rejuvenates your entire being . This feeling of being full of life, a breath of sunshine, with smiles for all times, peace and patience in abundance – where living life is like a blessing, waiting for the good is like knowing seasons change and its always wonderful, giving yourself a chance and accepting the way you are without the need of the acceptance of the other. When you are able to “ACCEPT yourself regardless of whatever happened, what will happen or what is happening, and you believe and know that GOD (the universe) has your back. ” You can be anything you wish to be so long you know that it is the best in the vision of the Holy divinity. It needs to be in sync to the things you attract. This is law of attraction in force. Ask and believe you will receive what you ask for, and it will so happen. The journey from teenage to adolescence is like a trap full of life lessons. Everyone gets caught in the tangled mess, those who survive have learnt to catch their sails, those who fall prey learn to destroy the sails but very often life gives chances to rebuild what’s broken , rekindle the flame that the storms extinguished, revive your near-dead spirit, let your life engine roar back to life and there you are.. on a journey of living a meaningful life. And when you become all wise, you realise time runs out of hand. And sometimes you wish it would be a little slower, but in vain will that ever happen. So we gotta dash along faster, get hold of what we need and not what we desire and chase the sun and befriend time. Rest whilst we can, find solace in the smaller bits of happiness. Live and enjoy and let your sparkle spread over the horizon. Shine like a light-beacon. Radiate joy through time. It is said:

“Success is failure recycled. Life is death Reborn.”

ACE of LIFE

I am the one holding the aces of my life in my hand.

I am deliriously happy, wonderfully content and blissfully at peace.

It’s not luck. It’s just the time after the rain.

The clouds have moved on behind me. And as I face the sun; I am stronger, happier and hopeful for my morrows.

I am no longer in search of love, peace , understanding and happiness. Because I already have it , in abundance.

Because I realised the key to win life and be a spirit of gratitude is WITHIN me.

I can change my fate, when I have a will.

Our FATE lives within us, We need to be Brave enough to see it.

I alone can set me free from all bondages of suffering.

I feel there are Three phases :

PHASE 1: When you drown into desolation, you lose hope. And you stop fighting against what is trapping you further into that dark pit. But I assure you , there is a point you reach, when it is unbearable, and you can’t take it anymore. And that’s just it. The fact that you accept that “you cant take it anymore” is enough .

PHASE 2: Do you feel that? The easing of pressure. Like a burden off you. Feeling Calm. And just like that you enter into this stage of being “numb”. No sadness or happiness. No negativity ,nor positivity. You just be there. And let the calm fill you in and out. You are pensive. You understand the phase one. And you understand that you don’t need to be sad. That you  need only you to be stronger. That you’re still breathing. And there’s something still out there worth living for.

PHASE 3: It’s when you realise there’s HOPE for something better. That life doesn’t lose it’s meaning with one lost battle. That every loss or failure counts. That it makes you better than who you were. It makes you accept the things you thought you couldn’t survive. It makes you accept that your life doesn’t move on whether you find something or lose. You realise that sometimes being without a purpose is a purpose in itself. The journey to find one. You see, at this stage you are at peace. And you smile from within. And even if life is not at its best. You are still happy (even without a reason to be).

Happiness doesn’t depend on a reason. It is an art of developing a healthy spirit.

ACCEPT THAT YOUR HAPPINESS IS AT YOUR WILL. COMMAND IT. WILL IT. LIVE IT. BREATHE IT.

ACCEPT THAT WHAT YOU THINK creates the situations of your life.

SO THINK AS YOU CREATE.

ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE THE MASTER. BE ONE. TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE.

COMMAND THE UNIVERSE TO GRANT YOUR WISH. If you want something to work, be the boss who commands , gets the work done and also does the work. 

Your life is like a project. Work on it the best you can. GIVE IT YOU’RE ALL. There’s a viva in the end. You gotta learn to answer the unasked questions and figure out how to go about with the unanswered questions. Life doesn’t end where people think it ends for you. Life doesn’t move with the number of failures or success. Life is not a mere journey from here to there, or down to top. It doesn’t matter if you are a billionaire or an extraordinarily great world-famous performer or just an ordinary person. Remember we all are born to die. So let’s be happy with the plate we have and work passionately to live our dreams.

Reality of those great successful people is that they managed to give substance and form to their dreams. It is not impossible. YOU CAN BE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE , provided it’s in tune with what YOU OUGHT TO BE.

Life is a meaningful mystery. A gift from The Most High. And if you think you have un-wrapped it and you know what it is? You’re wrong.

Life is that gift that you keep un-wrapping till your last breath. The more you understand it, the more beautiful it gets.

It’s human enough to be considerate to those who respect you and be there for you. But pay no attention to the hypocrites who open their mouth and mind to rewind your growth. BE KIND. Even when you wish to ignore the words, REMEMBER that the {words , feelings, thoughts} and the {person} are two different aspects. Be fair as to how you treat the two. REMEMBER. Never ever believe YOU KNOW ENOUGH. Because you don’t. BE OPEN TO Every bit of knowledge you can get.

You hold the FOUR aces of your life:

ACE of HEARTs : spread the warmth of love and affection everywhere you go. Rekindle the flame in every shattered heart to love oneself above the misery. ACE of CLUBs :The clubs symbolising – Flowers -a sign of appreciation and honour when given to someone. Be a generous giver. Appreciate the things that make you smile and the things where the efforts put in are visible. It may not make you happy, but you sure can make someone happier than you know it. ACE of DIAMONDs : Be like a diamond. Don’t get tired of being polished until you shine. Even when it is tough, remember that the rough edges are being made smooth, for something better awaits. ACE of SPADEs : This one should remind you that you govern your life. That you can change anything in a mini-second ,if and only if, you will. YOU CAN WIN . Play the Ace of spades to change your life for better. It is the KEY to your FATE in you. One last thing  – a noble man I knew taught his children: If you lose WEALTH, you’ve lost NOTHING. If you lose HEALTH, you’ve lost SOMETHING. But If you lose CHARACTER, you’ve lost EVERYTHING

I will be..

 

From the Shadows I walk out to the Light

I am never looking back

Never standing stuck in fright! 

What’s before me is all I can see:

My dreams and who I have to be!

I want to be so much more than What I am..

In every darkness I will light  my never-dying lamp. 

Every ugly flaw that degrades me,

Will be my key

To unlock new doors and see,

that happiness costs no fee. 

Every foolish mistake that burnt me,

Will remind me that my light is still glowing ferociously!

And that what burnt to ash

Is now dust and forever dust it shall be. 

I will not let the dust, dirty the path that will lead me on to find me…

I will be the light that brightens my world.

I will be my Dream in Real.

I will change every threat into an opportunity

and enjoy the dark clouds in the pouring rains..

because I know Where I will finally be

there is an eternally glowing light  everywhere I’ll see.

I will ask the Universe  to serve me- what I want,

and it will grant my wish ,with its magic wand.

I will laugh, giggle and shout with glee,

I will enjoy being who I am supposed to be.

I will attract my dream towards me,

Live it day-by-day passionately!

and everything will be an amazing tell-tale of my story

just how I mean it to be.

All I need is me,

And the same I’ll never be.

I will change, burn like a flame 

I will play this life game.

I will bounce back from every failure 

above it I will hop..

I will climb higher and higher 

until I reach the Top.

I will change my life 

from better to best..

I am the potter 

and will mould the clay until it’s shaped to set.

The mighty pause

DEAR  ME,

It’s been a very long time indeed. I haven’t been myself in this period- I’ll refer to as “the pause of my life.”

It had been a whirlpool of riotic feelings and pessimistic visions for as long as it lasted.

I am truly glad it’s over. The most difficult time in it all was for me to realise and accept that I had the key to shut it all once and for good. But I took my own time drilling me into an ocean of  desolation and grumpiness.

I took time feeling unworthy, shattered, lost, and seeing failures and dark pits at every horizon.

They kept telling me ” this ain’t you, wake up. I learnt to be brave from you. I learnt to accept change from you. I learnt to be optimistic from you.  You can’t be this negative. Stop inflicting self pity and torture.”

The words rang deep. But all I felt was hollow. It felt unreal, did I really mean all that? Did I really be someone who I am not now? How did I change? How do I change back? Where do I find the key I misplaced?

Questions and questions.. Never ending ordeal of pessimistic notions.

So many “Cannots, may nots, Will not, have not, not enough,…. ”

Oh! God save me, It felt like someone was ripping my soul before me to shreds and I stood there dumb, shakened, absorbed in the ruthless moment of misery.

It felt like someone inside me wanted to scream but I just couldn’t break free. I didn’t know how, nor when, nor what.

It’s just a moment that was all that I needed to snap out of this nightmare.

What a horrifying nightmare indeed!

There’s alot this pause taught me.

Analysing the situation. Analysing my life, me.

Accepting that I can control  the thoughts that  govern my life.  That I will see the good in the bad. That I will be an optimist in the most undesired life situations. That I can go beyond this phase of negativity and lunge into the heaven of good positive vibes.

Things that we lose are things that we dont deserve. Things that we get are beautiful blessons ( blessings+ lessons).

Sometimes it is so difficult to forgive, when you are not asked to forgive. Sometimes it’s so difficult to forget what you forgive. And Sometimes it is so difficult to accept the wrongs you’ve done and to move on. Yet in time, we do it all naturally. Do not force yourself, what has to happen will find a way gradually.

Life never promised that the canvas would remain colourless. When there are colours of warmt and liveliness, everyone feels the joy, but when the canvas gets splayed with dark spots, not everyone is able to appreciate the hidden beauty in it.

Not everyone is able to see the better picture before us.

It takes time to see through what we don’t want to see.

It takes time to accept what we are not ready to.

And it takes time to appreciate what we accept.

There’s a hell lot of difference when we say, we forgive from our heart and keep no grudges, no regrets, no remorse, no crudeness, no hatred. The question is what or whom do we forgive?

The deed and the person are two differentiable things.

When you forgive the deed, you have forgiven the person. You have forgiven yourself. And so to rest you have laid your negative emotions. You have compassion towards you and your fellow beings. You won’t run or escape or ignore what is so tangible and before your eyes. You can face anything, when you have the peace within. This peace gives strength, hope, faith and courage to be more resilient and more welcoming to the endless difficult phases of life.

And when you forgive the person without forgiving the deed. You will never be at peace. You will never be able to be compassionate with yourself.

To reach out to your soul, you need to be at peace- peace that stills away all that is unbalanced and let’s you walk through the doorway to meet your own-inner-self. Only then you feel relaxed and calm.

You need to succumb to no evil pressures but to God ( any Positive source of energy) alone.

You need to be in oneness, with the image of your soul. Only through compassion you can see the reflection of your soul in the acts of your human form.

(what I meant by “Deed” : Deed is that act or moment or notion that you find unforgivable, or that disturbs you internally, or makes you lose your sense of judging reality)

“TAKE IT EASY, BUT DON’T TAKE IT LIGHT.” – these words my brother said to me will always be with me.

Negativity of your thoughts and people takes us nowhere but into worse negative situations..

But positivity will take us a long way, its a slow but the best antidote for a long term life gain..

I failed in my efforts to get my goal, the goal I always wanted. But now because of this pause I am suddenly not so sure, if it still is what I want. I will take my time to find a way in or a way out.

But for the time that I lost, I can’t use the time that I have in wailing and sniffing about it. I need to restucture my way of life, so I know That I will never have to worry about unstable roots again. I need to focus on growing and learning to bloom in spring, to provide shade in summer, to give warmth every winter, to reach out to the sun, to be a shelter to those in need, to absorb the negativity around and give away positive vibes, to plant a tree of hope and self-reliance in everyone who walks by me.

I need to never forget to be ever so grateful, for the arms that reached out to me, the smiles that encouraged me, the love that helped me out a mess I created. Thank you.

And the best thing that the pause gave me is the experience of God. That he never forsakes. That it’s okay to fall, but it’s not okay  to not try to rise after the fall. That I am His Child, born to be victorious. And I have a spirit of life and peace that sets me free from all bondages of evil, sin and darkness.

And here I am resurfacing  from the depths of the unwanted sea of pessimism.

I am the writer of my life, and I will write it till the end.

I will change the course of my ship, when I have to, even if I’m not ready.

I will enjoy the nasty jerks and mild swings of every tide.

I will build my life into something that I will always love.

And I will appreciate the fact that at all times I HAVE ENOUGH.

I will live a life of gratitude.

The Unknown

Ever felt being lost in a whirlwind of emotions? Being swept away by storms? Feeling this void deep within? Feeling this INDESCRIBABLE emotion whilst letting go of almost everything? This feeling of uncertainty.. the feeling of standing raw and ripped and bared to the flames of the unknown.

THE UNKNOWN .. what is it? How is it? It creates anxiety.. It creates expectations.. It creates hopefulness and also doubts..

The void brings out an outburst of welcomed and most unwelcomed of all emotions. The mixture of positivity and negativity. And all your left with is to wonder which one shall reign?

I’m in a dilemma.. trying to figure out which battlefield I’m standing on? what am I fighting against? What is all this about?

Its like your suddenly whacked and thrown off your pendulum. You lose your balance and you just keep falling without a landing. And whilst you fall , there’s this torturous wait to know the unknown, to face fears, to realize there’s no choice available here.

Sometimes its beyond our understanding to figure out the deep underlying meaning beneath all the hazy- crazy- messy life.

There are those tough rough hard times where you need to wear a cloak of pretense and show the world that you’re “perfectly fine, not afraid, not confused, not falling apart.” But more than the world, these are the times when you pretend the most with your own-self. You pretend so much and get so habituated that there comes a time when the cloak will become a crucial part of you and no longer be used as a prop.

These are the times when once you’re hit by a ton of bricks, you get all so pessimistic that there’s more of this… Et voila.. there it is , the walls collapsing on you, doors closing on you. The life you created suddenly- just like the sand is gnawed by the waves of the sea- just rips apart. When you get all negative, there’s no limit to what extent of negativity you can reach that can pull you off the cliff you hang on, and take you drowning deep into the unwelcomed ocean of pessimism. And all that happens whilst your trapped in there, is more because of this parasite in your mind , body and soul. The parasite that flicks off any small spark of positivity or hope or courage or anything that could help you out. It makes you believe there’s no way out, when there is. It makes you accept that you cannot break free through the walls threatening and looming over you. You feel diminished by absolute negativity that you begin to see in almost everything. And you begin to accept that this is how it should be and you are fine. Well! You are NOT.

You are thrown out your comfy zone. Now … now.. this is yet another trial.. And you need to use the correct switches available to break out the cuffs and chains that stagnate your growth, that lead you not to positivity.

It’s a matter of choices we need to make. And sometimes we need to be harsher than the harsh. We need to PUSH when being pulled with equal force. We need to realise that the leech or the parasite can be crushed.

Life gives us a fair amount of choices and options. Most that it offers always comes with a switch that we can use to our likings. But many a times we choose to be purposefully unaware. But there are the other  times when you’re not given a choice but there’s something else working for you- unfavourable yet in favour of you- not so likeable yet what is best for you. You can call it any name you want- “Karma”.. “Fate”.. “Destiny” .. “Universe and its energy” … “GOD”..

So long you accept that there’s some energy around you fiddling with your life, that it helps you fix the puzzle or throws at you yet another one. You’ll be able to vaguely see and imagine a bigger picture of what all this is leading you to. It’s a step at a time. Small bits falling together.

Where’s the beauty if life had to be comfy and cozy and nicy-dicy all the time? Where’s the exhilarating adventure without another turn, twist or a toss?

Where’s the fun without fears , provocation, storms and THE UNKNOWN?

The unknown is better. Knowing everything wouldn’t help us in anyway. Not knowing helps us to master the art to KNOW.

The unknown is filled with blessons (blessings & lessons). Enjoy the ride with all the topsy turvy roads at your disposal.

Again I’d repeat …. “YOU CONTROL YOUR LIFE, Not the other way round. Yes , there is the inevitable, But the evitable will be based on the choices you make,”

Sometimes it’s all like MAKE-BELIEVE. There’s no other artist who will paint your life best for you. BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ULTIMATE UNIQUE ARTIST OF YOUR OWN . PAINT IT. LIVE IT . LOVE IT.

THERE IS A CHOICE even when you believe there isn’t. Find it.

That’s how I want my Canvas…

And when I see it turning grey,

I look around for brighter shades,

Not soon I find the red I want,

But I keep searching , not wanting the black to haunt.

 

As soon as I find the colour pots,

I want them all to mess the grey spots,

Hide the black, fill all gaps,

Re-design my life map.

 

Oh Canvas! Oh Canvas! I want you all bright.

But if you’d show me my life,

Shouldn’t you be alike?

 

And thus, I add back the grey,

and alil of black,

And there’s my canvas

with all colours intack.

 

Take a step ahead.

Before you start I don’t have this and that.

Your tomorrow will never come.. You need to Stop complaining.. Stop looking for what is less and more and this and that..Stop thinking so much..
Just do it..

PAINT YOUR CANVAS JUST THE WAY YOU LOVE IT BEST.

… Remember you can’t buy the time that goes by..
Do something with your passion..

Create your opportunities rather than waiting for things to come your way or happen the way you want..

WAITING is wrong.. Your talent and capabilities are your weapon.

Be wise and use it.

Inspiration is a feeling that drives you to be a happy satisfied being.

We all need it. It adds friction or should I say fluidity to our movements in life.

Life needs to be lived in an artistic way. Live in the colours, flow in your passion, strike out and design and keep redesigning till you see the picture your mind weaves.

Our palettes are always so full, yet we complain for shades we desire not once giving a thought to what is there is actually what we deserve. We let it dry. And then we wail.

Why?

Why is it tough to appreciate what is around us, in us and within our reach?

We know we shouldn’t be looking at shut doors but we still fail to see the doors that are open and slowly closing without our knowledge.

We know what is right and what is wrong.

We know it. But the problem is WE DON’T ACT. We don’t take a step. We are too damn busy trying to figure out the meaning of our neighbour’s canvas rather than glancing at our own.

No-one will solve your problems for you. Not even GOD. Because you are given them, to learn, to grow, to embrace your fears, to become more than what you are.

Accept your palette and paint your life. Sketch it, imagine it, feel it, dream it, and finally just get yourself together and throw your colours across. Design and keep redesigning your life canvas.

Small things I feel that can give peace:

• Don’t be a critic. But be an appreciator.
• Don’t be proud. But be humble.
• Don’t ask questions. But be an answer to the unanswered.
• Don’t feel accomplished. But be hungry to grow above everything.
• Don’t quit. Every end is a new beginning.
• Don’t feel sorry. But learn to never repeat a mistake.
• Don’t hesitate. But speak politely.
• Don’t just hear. Listen.
• Don’t expect. But be cautious.
• Don’t imprison yourself. But always find a way to set free.
• Don’t command obedience. But ignite the flame of inspiration.

I can go on. But the ultimate key to peace is GOD– the other name for Eternal love.

HE can help you design the most exquisite canvas.

Bitter-sweet moments.

  It’s only when you start working you realise how cruel the world can be!

“Do I have it in me to make it my own?”

Change What you can, move past what you can’t.

Simple rule.

ADAPT and get yourself tuned to the music of reality.

Had started this journey  with a goal in mind
Met people  so cruel, so unkind!
….not all was good, not all was bad….
Have so much to worry, so much to be sad..
I’d often  question,” where  did it all go?”
The fun, the frolic, those laughing rows.
It was all so merry, so peaceful ,  so light.
To have friends around you day and night.

Walking this alien road,
I see so much has changed.
Lines have grown  on my forehead. Oh what strains!
How much I wish  I could  go back in time,  and live some  more.
But this is reality.  No wonder  life’s  painfully  slow.

Why do I feel it a burden?
Can’t I make it a jolly ride?
If I have it in me! Time  will decide.

Alas! Too long have I forgotten  the goal I so wanted.
It’s time I get over these annoying  tangles, and see that my focus  doesn’t get tainted.

It’s still a journey. One I ought to live.
Let me learn to love it.
Let me be at ease.
I can. Can’t  I?
If I want to, won’t  I?
I will, will I not?

Move on,  past the things making me hold on to grudges.
I will atune myself  to the new music  of my reality.

Days tumble into night, and I wonder when will I get that break?

Always trying to make me feel lighter, no matter how much I get bit by snakes.

It’s not crude. It’s just the bitter side.

Sometimes life’s just a beautiful messy ride.