Tag Archives: Faith

Lord and Me.

Everynight and Everyday, Lord,

You and I are there, sitting together, in Your heavenly care,

as you teach me how love and pain to share.

I ask you, You give me,

Everything that I want,

but with a warning,

not to do anything wrong.

You help me Lord, when I’m in need,

You’re my best friend and Father indeed,

When all work is done,

You and I have some fun,

playing and running, and chasing the setting sun.

The day has gone and the night has come,

I’m so afraid, Lord, but You are so calm!

I fall asleep on Your holy palm,

but You never sleep But protect me from all evil harm.

You are so loving and kind towards me,

You are like my shadow always sticking by me,

Thank you for being my guide who guards me,

Thank you for never forsaking me.

You, my Lord , created all wonders,

You watch my every step, and save me from life thunders,

You make me wise, and fill me with Your Grace,

You always bless me with good knowledge,

and thus, You I shall forever Praise.
(This poem was actually written by me in 2007.. like 10 yrs back.. Just found the scribbles.. worthy of posting. )

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Dear Future Husband #6

Heyyyy honeyyyy,

today I’m  happy, for no reason,…

so I have a poem for you….
Walk with me ,

because only when you do,

You’ll know I’m your sunshine 

for the darkest days,

and your joy on the brightest.


Walk with me,

Because sometimes I’m the fire you need to feel fuzzy,

because I’m the twinkling sparkle in the crazy valley.


Walk with me,

because even when I’m gloomy,

You’ll have the best to read,

& while I write, you could watch me in my groove,

and a tadbit of jazz will help lift my spirits.


So Honey just walk me,

because when Im chirpy,

I will make you dance,

and sing crazy,

I’ll write u all the letters when I whine,

and you could tease me as we dine.


Just walk with me


Your’s in God’s time ,

Your love forever.

. … L e a n d r a … .

Someday for you #DFH .
#sigh #summerfeels #colourfulvibes #poetically_yours #poeticmode #poems #words #leeevibes #bliss #romantic

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Story of Tough Faith .

Let me tell you a story, once upon a time, there was a man , who had a lovely family, a wife that stood by him through all the ups and downs, a son who knew the struggle and wanted to help his father, and an ignorant daughter protected like a princess.

She never knew that they had days when the struggle was so tough, that even though there was a roof on their head, her father and mother wouldn’t know what new storms tomorrow had.

The only thing that kept him going was his children and his wife, because they were not his weakness but his life, his strength, the positive things to be grateful about in a never ending negative life.

And each day in this struggle he became this ardous, loving and hard working man.

Together with his wife he nourished his kids with invaluable priceless values and gifts. Gifts that only struggle could give.

Gifts of being grounded even when we rise above the hardships. Gifts of being happy with what they had. Gifts of enjoying small things with great joy. Gifts of living a simple, beautiful and meaningful life.

Gifts of being humble and never losing hope. Values of not doubting God and never failing to pray, even in the most weakest and hardest moments , to give it all to him, and rest in his care.

To believe that one day this man that washed and repaired cars, that one day that this man who was mocked about, that one day this man who did not once think of his dreams, that one day this man who started from a pin, One day this man would FINALLY LIFE’S STRUGGLES WIN.

This man that burnt in the sun, tirelessly day in and day out, this man that ran about to fetch us all that we need, this man that kept us all under his wings.

He is my Father. 

My king. And I want to tell you. That I am proud of you. And that I love you.

I am never ashamed of this. You’ll are the wonders worth writing about, so all can read.

I wanted to write this to remind me of the days long gone, but the very days that made you the man I call my hero, my MAN OF STEEL.

And if you dada are like this, I can only imagine How much Our FATHER in HEAVEN loves us.

He never left you in your struggle only because you remained faithful to Him.

And this is the greatest lesson of the many you taught us through your actions.

Life at times is a challenge, one that defeats you, degrades you, makes you lose hope and faith. That grinds you till you break. But it also leads you to a new door of hope each time you fail , and when you take God’s hand and let him guide you, you will be uplifted in the most unexpected ways and unexpected times with blessings that make you believe in His power and glorious  plans.

Times did change, now Dada, God has blest you with everything, every damn thing that once was a dream. And if we sometimes feel a tiny pinch, then it is a reminder for us to look up, and live with HIM. HE WILL LEAD US WHERE HE NEEDS US. 

For the many times I fail you’ll, I am truly very sorry.

There is simply no other set of parents I’d rather have.

It’s only you. You’ll are the greatest blessings we are blest with.

I am not very best with speeches and saying things aloud. It’s the way I am. So this is for you and for me to remember our blessed roots.

With so much love my heart can offer,

Your ever protected daughter.

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Dear Future Husband #2

Love,

We still have yet to meet. And here I am, writing yet another letter to you. 

It isn’t as weird as some may call me mental, but then , at the moment I feel this is right.

I believe God is still planning out our meet up and life ahead. And since he knows me, and he knows I crave the forever thing like my parents, I am learning to be as patient as I can.

Anyway, apart from that , I am here , to tell you about this magical fantasy I have since a kid, of the big day. Not to scare you away with the second letter. 

From years from now, I see this.. its a vision, and a lil happy visualization doesn’t hurt, does it ?

I’m wearing this princess gown, white as snow, such a contrast to my caramel skin, it’s just beautiful, it makes me feel beautiful, with the many skirts floating around, floating my spirit too. A veil sparkling like snowflakes and glitter and pearls in a galaxy. 

I see all smiling faces around, so many people who I love, and who love me, Dad walking down the aisle with me, my strong man, my first love, My King. As sad as it makes any bride, I try not lingering on those thoughts, simply because I will not let go of their hand (my parents) to hold yours, because I can hold both. I have enough room in my heart to love you both and all around.

It does seem unfair that a girl has to always rearrange her life, but if this is fate, then so be it, I will still be a daughter & a sister forever and your love in time.

Ok back to my walking down the aisle topic, so as we walk closer to you, I see you stand in awe, and I can feel my heart soaring, to see that this is it, this is where we embark on our adventure, this is where our journey with God together begins. 

And as the nerves hit me, I let my feet carry me forward, and as sweaty as my palms are, as you hold my hand , when dad leads me to you, I know you are just as nervous as me. But in that moment, knowing that I am not alone, that we are together, gives me alil ease. 

And my fantasy stops here, at the entrance of a  church where we shall some day say “I do .”

Like no matter how I try to imagine forward, dream it , force to visualize, I can’t, somehow my brain stops right there and screams “abort mission”… lol. 

Ok .. may be God wants to surprise us. So I stopped trying to imagine further. And let time and God’s plan lead us to this unexpected moments of togetherness , joy and love. 

I know in my heart, that when I’ll know we belong ( I have no idea how I’ll know it, again I’ll hope God clarifies it to us in time) , I will not hold back on loving you with my all  ,even if that means, I let you hold the axe to crush my heart , I will believe and trust you won’t.

I think I am warming up to the idea of you, even when we haven’t met.

or have we ? 

You know as peaceful as it makes me praying for you and also for a wonderful Sis in law for me (for my big brother), it gives me hope, and patience to trust in God’s perfect timing, and knowing that even if I pray alone today, someday we shall pray together forever.

I am not really a patient person, but I try when I have no choice, reaping better fruits then unripe ones is always worth the wait. 

Also I refrain from kissing frogs , to reach my frog Prince, hoping you didn’t really end up as a frog , for me to change you to my Prince charming.

I do want a fairytale, but a realistic one, where love is the cure to our every lows and our victory to every highs.

I will write more often to you .

and hey, If you happen to come with a sign of “stranger danger” , please don’t expect me to be as sweet as my letter here.

Your’s in God’s time,

Lea.

I am enough.

When I was a kid, I was hopelessly stick thin, black and looked like an unwanted ugly monkey.

Well I’m sorry I’m harsh,  but that’s what I believe I felt or was made to feel.

No matter how many tonics or foods or skirts of bukram they’d dress me with, no layers could hide away what I was.

Basically ugly. Unphotogenic.

Even though I was loved, it came with a condition of me not learning to love myself.

I was always conscious. No one bothered to teach me to love and accept myself.

On the contrary it was the exact opposite, I had to layer up in bukrams to not look like a stick or pull my unruly curly hair in tight pony tails making my head ache, only so they could think I was having a civilized upbringing.

What would have it been like , to be told then,

“darling you are beautiful with your wild hair, and caramel skin. No matter what you weigh, don’t let your heart be dismayed. We love you, and you should love every part of you.Because beauty lies within.”

Would I have learnt to love myself differently?

But it didn’t happen that way.

Self loving was and is probably a selfish thought , as per them. Knowing the way I’m brought up, I should put others  before me. Being selfless is the key to live a good life.

Is it ? Being human and selfless all the time, made me realise I’m always paying the price for disappointments and expectations. When will I learn to love, respect and accept every atom in my body ?

They don’t understand that it’s a necessity for every child to learn to accept themselves before they can accept the world as it is.

If these children haven’t conquered their inner most demons, how will they withstand the trials of this journey ? But no, fitting in was more important lesson then helping them gear up for life battles through self acceptance.

Ofcourse, as I hit puberty, my body changed, I did gain weight. And guess what , now they have words like pumpkin and fat ass for me.

The name calling never changes in time. Does it ?

You are either too thin or too fat!

what’s perfect to fit in? exactly? I never felt that, I won’t ever know what it is like to be loved for being the perfect puzzle fitting everyone’s expectations?

Even though with the weight I gained, I kinda became abit photogenic, so I’m kinda cute, not beautiful, mind you, that’s something only for the perfect shaped fair beauties. Beautiful is a word I hardly came across.

Have you ever tried telling your kid how beautiful they are, how beautiful their heart is ?

That’s a beautiful way to soar their spirit, But naaah, I’m sorry you’ll are always busy teaching them to fit in the world.

Why the hell can’t you’ll realize, that not all are meant to fit in ? Why can’t you let them be ?

Sometimes you don’t have to teach your child what is right, have faith in them, and let them decide. If you taught them well, they will do good. And if they fumble, teach them, that it is okay, that they can rise, that they are loved for what they are. They don’t have to be like someone else, rather just be themselves , the true self their spirit belongs to. Stop comparing them to their siblings and friends. Each one is different. Whilst they lack what the others have, they have something that others don’t, instead of boiling and cursing on what they lack, why can’t you appreciate what they have ?

How difficult is it ? To only say a few kind words with a warm smile, assuring them, that you accept them even if the world doesn’t.

So when I faced a tough life situation, where I had to let go of what I wanted, because it was toxic and degrading me. I was raw , and bare and cut open, with so much anxiety, pain and no self love. Always wondering what went wrong ?

What did I lack ? questioning my existence. Not having faith in my purpose ? What was I doing here ? Why am I breathing ?  Am I that unwanted? Can no one learn to love me ?

How can they , when I can’t?

I learnt it the harsh way, when I thought it was too late to, I’m not yet done learning to fully love and accept my self. But I’m working on it.

Baby steps, small steps, a step forward is a way forward.

And I tell you it isn’t selfish to self love, it is a wonderful way to self accept the inner most being you are. And that acceptance fuels your confidence and builds your belief in yourself.

It is very crucial to love oneself before you can love others. Because only then you have love within, love enough to share.

Harbor and harness that inner love, let it grow, and then you shall see the change, where you can feel the beauty gush out from within you to around you. You will have a wonderful vision of life and live even more peacefully in a world, that you need not fear, need not be forced to fit in, because you don’t have to, you can stand out, and make others believe in their true authentic self. Because that is enough. You are enough.

I am enough. More than enough.

Dear Future Husband #1

Love,

I know it’s weird me calling you that when I still question fate if you exist.

I’m still hoping for you to turn up or us to cross each other’s path.

Have all those romantic dates my head weaved and plans along with my heart.

Anyways, figuring with how life is at the moment, I’m still finding myself, and somehow I think its not time for us to yet meet and create our history. So I’m being patient.

But here’s something I’d like to share, if at all I forget to do so in the future when I might be tongue tied.

Today Dad came to me, with a bowl, on which was inscribed something sweet from a wellwisher .

It was like this ” Wishing you Mr. & Mrs Rodrigues a very happy and prosperous married life. dated 30.may.1987 ”

I could see the surprise on my dad’s face to hold that bowl and smile.

I think i quite know what went in his mind.

‘It is amazing that the bowl survived all these years, and it still is as good as new, not just that bowl, knowing my mom she will have tons of things preserved and taken care of. ‘

My point here is, it’s not just the things, it is them, their love, their marriage, that has survived 7+30=37 years. It’s brilliant and I know that it will survive their eternity.

I want this. If I do get married then, it will only be for this,

 a love that can survive all the ups and downs in life, a love that becomes the very home we live in, a love that is consuming, passionate and deeply understanding, a love that is not blinded by trust but founded on strong faith , a love like this.

When we do meet, can we try to have this.

My dad’s patience and my mom’s selfless nature along with their love together survived all 37 yrs could bring to them. 

What will ours be like ? will it make our kids want to have the same, like I yearn for what my parents have, nothing less.

Your’s in God’s time,

Lea.

As HE spoke to me.

Dear Friends, 

This chapter:  Jeremiah 31 : in the Bible helped me immensely to rekindle my faith. It is so clearly written to understand deeply and have hope because there’s simply so much God spoke to me in this.

I hope this touches you as it touched me.

rrg

My Lord speaks : ——————-

“My child, My dearest loving sweet child, When you were lost in the desert of a false life and false belief, I was with you, I showed you my mercy. Remember My love,  My mercy and grace will help you overcome all your shortcomings and limitations. 

I have always loved you, My child, always, and I continue to show you my constant love. I will rebuild you, and equip you with everything that you shall need as I will guide you to the storms you face in life, and I will lead you to a road back to me where you will not stumble.

Trust me My love, Have so much faith that you can trust me blindly, for I will never let you down.

If the devil has given you the thoughts, that I have punished you, that I have scattered your emotions and your life in a whirlwind, that it is my fault that you are suffering, Listen to me, Please , Speak to me, do not let him make you believe in him and doubt me. I will gather you, and your hurt feelings, I will guard you like the good shepherd I am. I will set you free from the evil trap, let Me in , my child. Let Me do this for You.

Only I can save you. Will you let me ? Because when I do, you shall be overjoyed and delighted with all the blessings I shower you with. With Me, you will be well taken care of, and all your needs will be satisfied. I will comfort you like a mother to her child, I will turn your mourning into joy, your sorrow into gladness. Believe in Me.

I am not a genie here to grant your wishes. I am Your God, Your Father, Your creator, I know so much more about you and your needs than you know yourself and even more than your own father and mother. I know your every thought, I know my plan for your life, for your future, your prosperity. 

Stop your crying and wipe away your tears.

My dear parents, don’t forget that you too are my children, even when you I have blest with my other children, even as you grow older, you are still my children as your chidren are to you, no matter how old they get, for you they will always be your small babies you want to protect, like I do. I assure you, all that you have done for your children will not go unrewarded; each time you placed your child before your wishes, dreams and happiness, I will bless you with even greater rewards. Your children are mine, and I will deliver them from the hands of our enemy/ satan.

My child, There is hope for your future; a HOPE that I will always give you, even when you feel that flame extinguished, I will let it burn within you. For my Hope for you is endless and so should your faith in me be. You are my dearest child, the one I love best, my love for you is boundless. 

Whenever I mention your name, I think of you with loveMy heart goes out to you; just like a mothers flutters the moment she see’s her newborn. You do that to me each time you look upwards to me and call for me with faith and hope in your eyes. You give me pure joy to help you my child.

Come to me even when you have wronged me, I will be merciful, because my love will overpower all the wrongs you do. Because your wrongs are not you, you are my pure child, created will pure love, if the evil tempts you , try not to give in, I will help you if you ask me. I will not hold your wrongs against you. If you have gone astray, far away from me, it is never too late to return, I am waiting for you. Think of me, say my Name, It has power, believe and you shall find your way back to Me. Even when the evil tempts you to believe that it is futile, that there is no way back, that you are stuck, and I will not forgive you and accept you, Do not believe him.

After all that I have said to you, believe me, have faith in my love, Do not be afraid of me. I am Your father, even if I do get angry, Don’t you think it is my right to be so, as your father, allow me  to correct you, to lead you, to guide you, to protect you, to help you.

Come back my love, Come back home. Come back to me. You will always find a way back to me.  My spirit will guide you.

I will refresh your weary self and will satisfy your hunger with good food for your spirit.

 My child, when I test you, lead you to the deep waters, as I took care to uproot, to pull down, to overthrow, to destroy, and to demolish you, so will I take care to plant and build you into something more stronger and beautiful. Let me shape and mould you for the plans I have in store for you. Be open to My Will, it will be easy when you focus on me.

Have you ever seen an artist or a potter at work, how mystical it is to watch, you are my canvas, my clay , I am the creator , I will make the best of you , be patient with me, the longer I take with you, the results will be even more spectacular. Let me do what I must to make the most of you. Never lose faith in me.

Also remember , no sins are passed down to generations, no one is punished for the wrongs of others, do not curse, because curses belong to the evil one, they will bite back. Bless everyone, even the ones that make you doubt my plan. Bless your situations, Pray to me, I will speak to you.

My word is the portal for us to meet in prayer. Each one shall be held guilty for your own wrongdoings, until you repent and come back to me. Then, I will reside in the temple within you. I will be Your God, and You will be my precious child. I will forgive all of your sins and no longer remember your wrongs. I, the Lord, have spoken.

All of yourself will be rebuilt as my child, my own. You are sacred to me, in totality;  sin or without sin, good and bad, I will accept you, never reject you , for you are my sweet child, my love, I will never again let you be torn down or destroyed. I will make you whole in Me.

Much Love and blessings always,

Your loving Father.

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Let’s read the Word of the Lord along with it.

Jeremiah 31 (GNT)

 In the desert I showed mercy to those people who had escaped death. When the people of Israel longed for rest, I appeared to them from far away. People of Israel, I have always loved you, so I continue to show you my constant love. Once again I will rebuild you.

a

9 I will guide them to streams of water,
    on a smooth road where they will not stumble.

10 The Lord says,

I scattered my people, but I will gather them
    and guard them as a shepherd guards his flock.
11 I have set Israel’s people free
    and have saved them from a mighty nation.
12 They will come and sing for joy on Mount Zion
    and be delighted with my gifts
 
They will be like a well-watered garden;
    they will have everything they need.
13 Then the  young and old, will rejoice.
I will comfort them and turn their mourning into joy,
    their sorrow into gladness.
14 I will fill the priests with the richest food
    and satisfy all the needs of my people.
I, the Lord, have spoken.”

16 Stop your crying
    and wipe away your tears.
All that you have done for your children
    will not go unrewarded;
    they will return from the enemy’s land.
17 There is hope for your future;
    your children will come back home.
    I, the Lord, have spoken.

20 “Israel, you are my dearest child,
    the one I love best.
Whenever I mention your name,
    I think of you with love.
My heart goes out to you;
    I will be merciful.
21 Set up signs and mark the road;
    find again the way by which you left.
Come back, people of Israel,
    come home to the towns you left.

25 I will refresh those who are weary and will satisfy with food everyone who is weak from hunger. 

v

26 So then, people will say, ‘I went to sleep and woke up refreshed.’

28 And just as I took care to uproot, to pull down, to overthrow, to destroy, and to demolish them, so I will take care to plant them and to build them up. 29 When that time comes, people will no longer say,

‘The parents ate the sour grapes,
But the children got the sour taste.’

30 Instead, those who eat sour grapes will have their own teeth set on edge; and everyone will die because of their own sin.”

33 The new covenant that I will make with the people of Israel will be this: I will put my law within them and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. 34 None of them will have to teach a neighbor to know the Lord, because all will know me, from the least to the greatest. I will forgive their sins and I will no longer remember their wrongs. I, the Lord, have spoken.”

35 The Lord provides the sun for light by day,
    the moon and the stars to shine at night.
He stirs up the sea and makes it roar;
    his name is the Lord Almighty.
36 He promises that as long as the natural order lasts,
    so long will Israel be a nation.

38 The time is coming,” says the Lord, “when all of Jerusalem will be rebuilt as my city.

40 The entire valley, where the dead are buried and garbage is dumped, and all the fields above Kidron  as far as the Horse Gate to the east, will be sacred to me. The city will never again be torn down or destroyed.”

The Word of the Lord. Thanks be to God.

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