Ever felt being lost in a whirlwind of emotions? Being swept away by storms? Feeling this void deep within? Feeling this INDESCRIBABLE emotion whilst letting go of almost everything? This feeling of uncertainty.. the feeling of standing raw and ripped and bared to the flames of the unknown.
The void brings out an outburst of welcomed and most unwelcomed of all emotions. The mixture of positivity and negativity. And all your left with is to wonder which one shall reign?
I’m in a dilemma.. trying to figure out which battlefield I’m standing on? what am I fighting against? What is all this about?
Its like your suddenly whacked and thrown off your pendulum. You lose your balance and you just keep falling without a landing. And whilst you fall , there’s this torturous wait to know the unknown, to face fears, to realize there’s no choice available here.
Sometimes its beyond our understanding to figure out the deep underlying meaning beneath all the hazy- crazy- messy life.
There are those tough rough hard times where you need to wear a cloak of pretense and show the world that you’re “perfectly fine, not afraid, not confused, not falling apart.” But more than the world, these are the times when you pretend the most with your own-self. You pretend so much and get so habituated that there comes a time when the cloak will become a crucial part of you and no longer be used as a prop.
These are the times when once you’re hit by a ton of bricks, you get all so pessimistic that there’s more of this… Et voila.. there it is , the walls collapsing on you, doors closing on you. The life you created suddenly- just like the sand is gnawed by the waves of the sea- just rips apart. When you get all negative, there’s no limit to what extent of negativity you can reach that can pull you off the cliff you hang on, and take you drowning deep into the unwelcomed ocean of pessimism. And all that happens whilst your trapped in there, is more because of this parasite in your mind , body and soul. The parasite that flicks off any small spark of positivity or hope or courage or anything that could help you out. It makes you believe there’s no way out, when there is. It makes you accept that you cannot break free through the walls threatening and looming over you. You feel diminished by absolute negativity that you begin to see in almost everything. And you begin to accept that this is how it should be and you are fine. Well! You are NOT.
You are thrown out your comfy zone. Now … now.. this is yet another trial.. And you need to use the correct switches available to break out the cuffs and chains that stagnate your growth, that lead you not to positivity.
It’s a matter of choices we need to make. And sometimes we need to be harsher than the harsh. We need to PUSH when being pulled with equal force. We need to realise that the leech or the parasite can be crushed.
Life gives us a fair amount of choices and options. Most that it offers always comes with a switch that we can use to our likings. But many a times we choose to be purposefully unaware. But there are the other times when you’re not given a choice but there’s something else working for you- unfavourable yet in favour of you- not so likeable yet what is best for you. You can call it any name you want- “Karma”.. “Fate”.. “Destiny” .. “Universe and its energy” … “GOD”..
So long you accept that there’s some energy around you fiddling with your life, that it helps you fix the puzzle or throws at you yet another one. You’ll be able to vaguely see and imagine a bigger picture of what all this is leading you to. It’s a step at a time. Small bits falling together.
Where’s the beauty if life had to be comfy and cozy and nicy-dicy all the time? Where’s the exhilarating adventure without another turn, twist or a toss?
Where’s the fun without fears , provocation, storms and THE UNKNOWN?
The unknown is filled with blessons (blessings & lessons). Enjoy the ride with all the topsy turvy roads at your disposal.
Again I’d repeat …. “YOU CONTROL YOUR LIFE, Not the other way round. Yes , there is the inevitable, But the evitable will be based on the choices you make,”
Sometimes it’s all like MAKE-BELIEVE. There’s no other artist who will paint your life best for you. BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ULTIMATE UNIQUE ARTIST OF YOUR OWN . PAINT IT. LIVE IT . LOVE IT.
THERE IS A CHOICE even when you believe there isn’t. Find it.