Category Archives: Faith

Carpet of wrong turns.

Hidden carpet of wrong turns ,

take me to the skies,

lead me on , beyond the ways

I couldn’t pass by.

Hear me out, oh Wrong turns!

don’t make my life a lie,

I chose you over 

all that life offered without any spite.

You were so tempting and conniving

Oh Wrong turns!

I was Eve , you – the Serpent,

You bit me, you hissed,

even my tears I risked,

I lost a lot, Oh wrong turns !

Your carpet holds the dead remains,

you snatched away, you gnawed at me,

you left me brutally mundane,

I repent though, Oh carpet of wrong turns!

I repent not thinking wise,

but the lessons you gave,

you made me so brave,

I’m starting to believe, I can rise.

Flying through you , oh carpet of wrong turns !

I’m learning to live my life,

And so now when I choose the right,

I remember how you taught me

from wrongs how to reach out into the light,

So hidden carpet of wrong turns,

within me you reside,

take me over and above my fears,

help me build my might in this fight.

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Choices that we think are wrong. Or have wronged us, in some way or the other, aren’t actually wrong .

There is something right in them. Look harder and someday you shall see what I meant.

I have learnt far more better certain amazing things about life deeply through my wrong turns. No , there wasn’t just once I was wrong, I’ve been wrong a great many times, but I’ve learnt something always and made sure to be wise.

But sometimes it’s not about being wise or practical or living how you are expected to, sometimes it’s about intuition, it’s about feeling something right in the moment, these situations may be right for that moment and wrong in all other, but that doesn’t mean , it’s wrong entirely. For the moment it was created, that choice you made was meant to be, whether wrong or right, everything is fated, it is bound to happen, one way or the other, whatever we choose to live with or depart from, essentially is a part of a much bigger beautiful plan by our God.

So dear there, don’t feel disheartened about being wrong, or choosing wrong , stop feeling disappointed, repent though, work hard to forgive yourself and seek forgiveness where needed, work harder to understand the depths of the lessons hidden in this carpet of wrong turns.

As humans it is pretty normal for us to fall prey to it, don’t be too hard on yourself though, 

learn to let go of this carpet when it’s time, 

learn to heal, 

learn to feel that things happen and life stops for no one. 

Move dear, move forward, 

move into the light that awaits , 

whether right or wrong, you will find a way. 

Stay hopeful. Stay blest.

Much love. 

Dear Future Husband #15

 Honey….

Yesterday was a rough day.

I wonder how was yours.

Yesterday I had not many words to fill a blank page, was way too drained and sad . And I wanted something nice to say.

I did hope this #illustration of us that was done yesterday, speaks to you someday.

Hahah! Please don’t mind me looking elsewhere & not at you😉😊…..

I love dancing, mostly ball room, and usually my bro is my perfect partner, but the times he’s not around, I miss dancing, so I avoid parties, maybe one of those possible places fate could help us meet. 

But since I’m gonna be sticking to my chair even when there’s crazy music, I don’t turn up to such parties.

Apart from dancing, my well wisher pointed out that it would be so wonderful to actually meet you someday and realize that you have indeed read all of my letters all along. 

But that’s just wishful thinking or would that be a wonderful possibility?

I know I will meet you love, even if this wait will be months or years, but when we are destined by the Almighty we shall meet.

It scares me you know, this dating thing, because I don’t want to invest in someone who’s not you. 

Because there’s alot at stake. Emotions, feelings, time, understanding, patience, compromise, sacrifices, prayers….. and so on.

I want to invest all that in you. Someday, when we click, and if you ask for my heart, I will gladly give it to you, because by then , I’ll know, you’ll be the key to help me rebuild and become even more of a woman who belongs to herself first.

The pressures of the society or even family, at times , makes me feel weird, will I be forced to choose ? And if I do, will that be you ?

How will I ever know , love ? There are so many doubts, so many fears.

I’ve been raised by such amazing parents who have never once fallen out of love, their love is the very strength that binds our family together.

Will our love be the ship on which we shall proudly sail towards eternities ?

They say the soul knows who it wants ? And since you shall be my soulmate someday, will your soul recognize mine ?

I wonder love. I only can wonder.

I leave my worries about you in the hands of our match maker.

For he knows, who’s heart I can cherish and who can treasure mine.

I hope and pray dearly beloved, that you are having the most amazing time of your life. May you think of me, as I think of you. 

Haven’t met, yet to meet. Isn’t that a beautiful mysterious  fact of our lives ?

I will wait, my love. I don’t urge you or God to let you come soon. I pray that when you turn up, I am ready to accept you and welcome you, from that day on for forever thereafter.

Stay blest. Stay safe for me. 

For He knows our time will be in His time.

Until next letter,

And until God plans our eternity,

Your favorite dancing partner to be,

Your love.

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Dear Future Husband #14

Hey love,

I was chatting with my friend, and she’s like where do I get these words from ? 

Words that I write for you …

Guess what I said ?

Romance hasn’t died in me , even though I’m happily single in the season of waiting . But it might just get over, since I’m pouring it all over here, so probably when you do turn up, my quota of romance might need some serious restocking. 😉

On a good note, I’m being formal I know, but it sounds crazier this way, haughty english style, I’ve been thinking. 

And me & thinking get along too damn well, and  totally out of proportion. 

When we do fall for each other, and we keep falling every day, more and more in love, I will be there to hold you, your hand, and squeeze it in reassurance when you need a boost if confidence. Love, I do not want to be your weakness, but if I am, then I’ll be honoured, but I will be proud to be your strength, and I hope we learn to be this rock of strength for each other.

I don’t see love just like strolling down the beach, getting all steamy and flirty and teasing and being totally love sick, but I see us being able to talk to each other, without the need to look at our phones every minute we are together, without the need of trying to hunt for topics to get rid of awkward silences, without the need of trying so hard to explain so either of us would understand, I see us smiling in comfortable silence, not needing too many words to understand , and respecting each other’s presence.

I know that relationships need work, and it’s not always a dream that would weave a web of magic in reality . We shall face all sorts of situations, where we might need to take decisions that might not sit well with either of us, I might be for it but you might not be and so on. 

But I want you to know , I will hold no grudge. I do not want regrets, but I will not stop you from chasing your dreams or building them, I will help you and encourage you and pray with you. But if it is something wrong for you, I will speak my mind aloud and let you know why.

I will expect the same from you love, correct me when I’m wrong. 

As much as a passion filled romance is thrilling and lovely, I know we will have ours too. But I would want ours to be such that would make some sigh and bless us, and not want to puke and tell us to stop.

You might even get a few letters from me, time and again once we do be with each other, but I assure you , I’m not gonna be the one to bombard my feed and yours with stories of Tom, Dick and Harry that spy on every moment of our life.

Here’s a scene I imagine, because I do see it happen to my parents quite often, they are still very possessive about each other, so there’s like a party we attend, and we are ignorant of the vibes we each give away. You trying to signal that I’m yours and me trying to ward off the attention you get by staking my claim , grabbing your hand, or even gnawing at it. 

Hahaha… It will be funny. Don’t you think ?

I will be a wee bit possessive of you and there will be times I might face jealousy, but I want you to know, that it will not be to cause you irritation, but to only try to soothe my endangered heart. Whilst I hope you will make me believe that we belong, like we are a match made in heaven, I would love to feel all that a journey with you will bring our way.

And from jealousy, to clashing thoughts, to decisions we dont agree together on, may we someday learn to love in our individual spirits to respect the space of each other, and accept at heart that no matter how different we may think or believe, we will live in harmony of our differences and imperfections.

Much love my dearest.

I pray My God takes good care of you,

Until He decides it’s  time for us to meet,

Your future rambling bride.

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He’s still working on me.

A thing I realised..

In this moment when I am so involved, so enthralled  in creating, blending , finishing, and making something of what’s at hand, I know that this work in process will be complete in it’s time.


I am a work in process too.

And God is my creator, my moulder, my potter, my artist !

As He reshapes, redesigns, blends my life, and all else in it, He is indeed creating a master piece.
The more time. The best it will be.
Since I’m not done here. In a while I will be.
And since He’s not done with me, Someday He will.
Waiting is beautiful in its own way. 

Reminder :

Dear Friend,

Take time to pause, once in a while and breathe in the serenity of Life that God offers amidst every storm, chaos, confusion or a happy patch. Take time to realize that we all are His work in progress. Some finished, some semi finished, some He is working on simultaneously, some he has left in the furnace to become strong, and hold together every part of what’s made of us.

Some of us are like wet clay, that needs dry clay so we are reshaped and reformed. The techniques our divine Potter will use to mould us into the best beings we can be are infinite and unbelievably beautiful.

This journey from work in process to finished us, is a journey not alone ours, but that of Our God with us, His help, his guidance, we need Him to mould us and ready us for what awaits.

And thus , instead of believing that we are whole and don’t need any more help in our journey from semi finished pieces of creation to Master pieces of our Great God, let us be open to Him. Let us wait on Him. And let us believe & have faith that our Lord will make the most of us in His wonderful ways.

Stay blest. Stay connected with God.

much love ,

from one Work in process to another.
#leeevibes 

P.s. Only because I fall in love with unfinished art more then the finished one.. The making is the most inspiring, beautiful , soothing, peaceful , enchanting and magical process.

………….…………………………….……………………..………….…..……


I’m pondering on the words of this hymn ↓

He's still working on me
To make me what I need to be
It took him just a week to make the moon and stars 
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars
How loving and patient He must be
'Cause He's still workin' on me


There really ought to be a sign upon my heart 
Don't judge him yet, there's an unfinished part
But I'll be better just according to His plan
Fashioned by the Master's loving hands


In the mirror of His word
 Reflections that I see
 Makes me wonder why He never gave up on me
But He loves me as I am and helps me when I pray
 Remember He's the potter, I'm the clay
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The Letter #2

Dear Father in heaven,

How are you? I haven’t asked you that one question for as long as I could remember me praying to you.

We have spoken, we shared our views through your Word. Your Holy words have always guided me. Yet I wonder why didn’t I ask you How you are doing, perhaps thinking You are The great God, and you certainly would be doing good. Forgive me for taking you for granted dear Father.

Dear Lord, I have failed you endless times, and yet each time you show me the way back. The way back to you is in Prayer, Holy Eucharist and through Your Word alone.

It’s been ages , I haven’t written to you.  I have been procrastinating on our letters. I have been putting off our talks. These talks that make me feel lighter and glad and calm.

I could feel that strange sense of being over burdened, those sounds of a complaining soul in me. I could feel me going astray and trying to find answers. Answers to why you would do this to me.

I knew in it all, I am no one to judge, I who lack the wisdom you have, I who lack the understanding of your plans for me, I who fail to see that you are in the centre of my chaos, I who lack faith in the times of storms , when I know you can help me tread on rough seas. You can help me walk through anything. 

Because you are infinite. You are divine. You know everything. You are everywhere. You are omni potent, You are eternal, You are love. You are hope. You are faith. You are my father.

Whatever I feel, you feel. Whatever hurts me, hurts you. And you are always there.

As we often face storms, tough life situations, You are there, even when we question Your presence, You are with us. We fail to see this Lord, because we focus on our storms, on the chaos, on the mess that we are, instead of keeping our eyes fixed on you, we fail to see that in the midst of it all is You. All You want us to learn is to focus on You in turmoils ,weakness and moments of exasperations.

Because you are peace. You are serenity. You are heaven and the glimpse of true happiness, true love, true mercy. You are the fountain of forgiveness. 

We wrong you Father, all of us, Your very own, we hurt You, we blame You, we call You names- unjust unkind, we question Your plans, we crave for happiness without experiencing pain and hardships , and often forget that You too can feel pain, pain that we all feel, you feel it much more intensely. 

Pain that Jesus felt, dying on the cross, feeling You abandoned Him, You felt it much more, because You were there with Him, You died with him, and You rose with Him, altogether, one in the Spirit.

Oh Holy Father, almighty and wonderful, forgive me, I, Your child come to You, forgive me for not understanding and being a judge, when I have no knowledge or wisdom that can redeem generations, I am no judge, I am nothing, but your child, help me Lord, as I come back to You, help me stay calm in every storm and focus on You. Help me help those who have gone astray come back to You. Help me to learn to focus on You and not the mess I feel I am.

Because dear Lord, it is very easy for the evil to combust my mind with endless thoughts of whys and what ifs and question Your plan, help me fight this overthinking trap and believe in You and Your salvation for me. 

Overthinking is the trap of the evil, that often makes us lose focus on God and lose ourselves in the messy storms our mind creates.

There are many of us, prisoners of such chaotic traps, bless us Oh spirit with your Holy gifts :  wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, fear of God alone ;

so we learn to choose to focus on His Holiness and trust in His righteousness always and forever. Because He has not given us a spirit of fear. And we should never fear anything or anyone but God. Because our God is supreme and powerful and just and Mighty and King of kings. Our God is good all the time, and he will make a way where there seems to be no way.

I choose You Lord. I always will.

I know now, I don’t have to feel like I lost You, because You are always with me. Even when I fail to see, I will try to focus on You and have faith on You- My Rock of salvation.

Thank You Father for coming for me.

Thank you Jesus for standing with me.

Thank you Spirit for igniting this flame of faith in me.

Love from the child that will always worship and Praise Your Most Holy Name,

Lea.

(This picture is taken from the internet.)

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Come world, I dare you.

​Look at the flaws,

they scream and screech,

are they as loud

as my insecurities hiss ?

Hey world,

I am here now,

tell me with your brutal tongue,

what you once told me,

am I as limited as your narrow horrid mind ?

Can you see how infinite I am,

as I stand to not heed your ruthless voice,

but to make you listen to my rant ?

I’ve had enough of all the curveballs you could throw my way this past 2 decades,

I fell, got hurt, rose a thousand times, through the dirt,

there was remorse, there was still hope,

that one day, when no one stands for me,

I won’t feel so broke,

and I tell you,

that one day is now,

it’s here, 

so world,

I dare you to fight me the best you can,

this time I ain’t gonna back down,

this time I own my crown,

I own me,

I found my voice,

and I don’t need no one to stand with me,

because I learnt

being brave at heart,

is all I need to face your meaningless wrath.

Come now, and hit me square in my jaw,

I assure ,you will have an equal opposite reaction as Newton explained in his law,

So find my weakness and hit me hard,

I promise

I will come back to smash you with my Acing card.


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Dear Future Husband #13

Love,

I am dramatically staring 

at time of less essence,

would you find me a fairy Godmother,

to take me to where you stand ?

Even glass slippers would do,

if you would send me a search troop !

to rescue me from the many walls I built.

Or would Aladdin rent me his genie

for my last wish ,

to take me to where time stands still?

Will there be an evil queen in our fairytale?

Will I be saved by gentle 7 dwarfs,

and be kissed to be waken from a sleeping spell?

No!

This won’t be our’s,

No fairy, No genie, No flying carpet,

No glass slippers, No sleeping spells,

No needles of poison, No apples to cause destruction,

No kiss of resurrection ,

No happily ever afters that are only dreams, No magic beans for second chances,

No evil queen, No conspiring step mothers,

No balls, No magic that books proclaim,

JUST YOU AND ME,

walking towards each other in this world of twitchy reality,

in a pattern of DIVINE INTERVENTION,

WE SHALL MEET,

and grow in Love 

in our walk towards forever to greet eternity,

With God’s will alone,

and heaps of blessings for the remainder of our journey.


Your’s in God’s precious time,

a girl without glass slippers, magic wands and pixie dust.
(Now honey, come find me, your only way to me is God.)

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