Category Archives: finding her

I’m not practical.

Confession time.
I envy my best friend ( in a good way) for her practical approach to life.

I can’t be practical , no matter how much I try.

And now I know why.
I’ve always battled with this, now I feel at home.
I am an artist, a creative soul.
I think deep, I imagine wild , I feel every emotion right from the very core of my soul.
Every thing I love to do, for me is to work with my all, passionately , deeply & intoxicatingly being aware I’m drowning into it in the moment.
When I’m writing, I’m lost. When I’m painting, I’m lost, in this place that’s mesmerizing, there’s just me, and calm and peace, serenity, compassion.
I’m sensitive to the heart, I’m impulsive.
I get bored easily , so I’m fidgity, my mind boggles almost everything around, observing, wondering, wandering, seeing shapes in the clouds or art in rustic walls, words in the gushing waters.
I can sit with you, and talk not one word, if I’m comfortable around you. And that silence I can enjoy. I don’t talk much when I’m thinking or putting a masterpiece together in my mind.
I had been a people’s pleasing person all my life , because I couldn’t say “no”. Now, I can. I am a people inspiring person now. I love making one person smile everyday, may it be my words, may it be my prayers, may it be my very impulsive crazy madness.
I’m bubbly & cheerful & childlike when I’m in a good mood, but when I’m not, I’m quiet & spaced out. Yes, I over think, a day dreamer, a night thinker, sometimes I plan, sometimes I go with my gut. And my instincts are always always always damn fckng right.

Being practical is going with that smart way of doing things in life, it involves lesser risk. But me? I love risks , I get drawn to complicated hazards for no reason. I take paths I choose, not practical, not always smart, but somehow soulful..
. – Leandra. .
.
(I wrote this to remind me on the days I wish I be more practical, why I can’t be what I’m not and why I should be happy for what I am. Creative souls are never practical, they are messy & crazy & feel everything in it’s greatest details. )

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My mind is the sword.

90% of the misunderstandings, petty fights and hurting is because your mind gives more weightage to umimportant details of your chaos.
Stop letting that anxiety and fears dictate the realness of the issue at hand, and that involves controlling your mind and not letting it control you.
You can be free of most of your “unworthy, not good enough, I can’t do it, this ain’t my cup of tea, may be they are better off without me, I should just shut all out..and all such other.. .” syndromes by first acknowledging how charming your lil mind is and how brilliant it indeed is to make you believe in pessimistic notions so easily, STOP! pause and see what’s happening here, your brain is readily accepting the judgements and opinions of people who want to see no growth in you (deliberately & sometimes they won’t be aware of what they are doing to you), your brain is feasting on your insecurities and breeding the parasites of sucking out all the remaining confidence and self reliant attributes you have, that also involves it will degrade your most essential vitamin of “self love.” Your brain cannot be blamed always though, it is as much a part of you as you are to your entire self, you need to wire your brain and teach it how to operate , how to defy the easily believable junk and feed it with healthy mind diet. Practice forceful optimism, take charge to be mindful, stay grounded, fall in love with a gratuitous living, let kindness devour you, let love rekindle your flames, let happiness and peace be a choice.
You can let the situations aggravate your problem at hand by believing in the unrooted parasites or you can be calm in the fire and plan a way out.

It is easy to keep your mind sane in times of stability but it is the the storms where the real challenge occurs .
Remember, your mind can wage a war or it can smartly end one without violence of any kind.

I can let go of everything I want , if I want to really preserve myself.

Take care.

#16 Her_thoughts 

​Shush now..

There’s too much noise,

In my head

Or is it your voice?


Wait! who are you ?

I asked the space 

around my fingers 

that stared ahead,

greeted with silence yet again,

But somehow 

this time felt like 

I’m home 

peaceful sans  pain. 

-Leandra .R.

#letsthrive 

#newseries

#newart

#newgoals

#newdreams

#newhorizons

#extendedlimits

#greaterjoy

#simplerthoughts

#echoingmyvibration

#justvibe

#leeevibes

#15 Her_thoughts 

They said….

she was a mere bookworm on the sidewalk.

she couldn’t ever be a Cinderella in a play.

she could act like a man just fine in a live crib.

her duskiness, was a dismay.
I say…

She wasn’t meant to fit your lowest estimates.

She wasn’t a choice for you to make.

She was caramel, make no mistake,

sweet, rich, delightful and arrogant to venomous hissing snakes.

Her sidewalks, was where you stood criticising,

Her road, was a journey,

from what you doubted,

to what she had trouble accepting.

And that acceptance,

is love for herself,

withdrawn from your savage.

She wasn’t ever meant to fit in Ella’s shoes,

She was meant to hold her crown,

much higher than your cursed life cage

#leeevibes

.

.

_______________________
#takethat 

#lipstickundermyburkha

#lipstickrebellion

#loveself

Lil drops of paint.

Do you know 

what a few drops of paint could do ?

It could paint your canvas anew!

Toss it over,

and move your hands,

add a few designs, textures and don’t plan,

let it flow, 

your thoughts finding paths

on blank pages and canvas,

Fall in love ,

with every sprinkle,

every dip,

every hue and shade,

as you create,

let yourself be filled with wonder,

there’s no imperfection,

there’s no blunder,

if you let yourself not hesitate but wander, 

in this lil space you created,

a place to be ,

in a moment so isolated ,

very much real,

very much true,

as you understand 

alil more deeply 

the joy of the greatest creator

who made you.
#leeevibes

#artistdiaries #writerdiaries #writerden #artistden #paintwrite #create #creativemodeon #creativityissoullust
#abstractart #abstract #espression #artist #instagood #artexpression #woods #trees #colours #fusion #explosion #instagood #instamood

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I’m an ocean.

Feels good… to do this..

______________ .

.  I’m an ocean,

sometimes calm,

sometimes raving,

I’m water,

that is living,

depths of me are hidden and discreet,

not all can reach,

not all can seek,

I’m not blue,

I’m not white,

I’m a colour 

that you decide,

I can calm you,

give you peace,

or snatch away your lil ease,

I’m no bubble 

for you to burst,

I’m no mirror 

for you to adjust,

I’m an ocean,

with hidden treasures,

some sunk ships,

alil wrecks,

alil leaks,

alot more life in my depths,

mysterious and always luring.
#leeevibes

#artistdiaries #writerdiaries #writerden #artistden #paintwrite #create #creativemodeon #creativityissoullust
#abstractart #abstract #espression #artist #instagood #artexpression #woods #trees #colours #fusion #explosion #instagood #instamood

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#14 Her_thoughts

For years,

all she learnt was what people hate

about her,

and their hate,

became what she hated too.

What they said,

became what she believed.

Until it became so unbearable,

that she let go of the hate,

that crushed her whole.

And now all the parts that the world

disapproves about her,

are the very edges she is learning to love,

and all those edges the world envied she had,

are becoming her solace for fresh beautiful starts.

So now when all is hushed,

and all is calm,

even the chaos seems to drift apart.

She is learning to shut it all out,

you, your actions , your words, dear world even your mocking laughs,

I’ve learnt you are brutal ,

but I’ve also learnt you can be warm and kind and motivating and beautiful,

So I will choose to ponder on the good vibes you gush my way,

than the harsh ones that always cause dismay.

(This pic is clicked by me .)

#leeevibes

#grateful

#happy

#saturdayblues

#goodvibes

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