Category Archives: Dream

Carpet of wrong turns.

Hidden carpet of wrong turns ,

take me to the skies,

lead me on , beyond the ways

I couldn’t pass by.

Hear me out, oh Wrong turns!

don’t make my life a lie,

I chose you over 

all that life offered without any spite.

You were so tempting and conniving

Oh Wrong turns!

I was Eve , you – the Serpent,

You bit me, you hissed,

even my tears I risked,

I lost a lot, Oh wrong turns !

Your carpet holds the dead remains,

you snatched away, you gnawed at me,

you left me brutally mundane,

I repent though, Oh carpet of wrong turns!

I repent not thinking wise,

but the lessons you gave,

you made me so brave,

I’m starting to believe, I can rise.

Flying through you , oh carpet of wrong turns !

I’m learning to live my life,

And so now when I choose the right,

I remember how you taught me

from wrongs how to reach out into the light,

So hidden carpet of wrong turns,

within me you reside,

take me over and above my fears,

help me build my might in this fight.

——————-

Choices that we think are wrong. Or have wronged us, in some way or the other, aren’t actually wrong .

There is something right in them. Look harder and someday you shall see what I meant.

I have learnt far more better certain amazing things about life deeply through my wrong turns. No , there wasn’t just once I was wrong, I’ve been wrong a great many times, but I’ve learnt something always and made sure to be wise.

But sometimes it’s not about being wise or practical or living how you are expected to, sometimes it’s about intuition, it’s about feeling something right in the moment, these situations may be right for that moment and wrong in all other, but that doesn’t mean , it’s wrong entirely. For the moment it was created, that choice you made was meant to be, whether wrong or right, everything is fated, it is bound to happen, one way or the other, whatever we choose to live with or depart from, essentially is a part of a much bigger beautiful plan by our God.

So dear there, don’t feel disheartened about being wrong, or choosing wrong , stop feeling disappointed, repent though, work hard to forgive yourself and seek forgiveness where needed, work harder to understand the depths of the lessons hidden in this carpet of wrong turns.

As humans it is pretty normal for us to fall prey to it, don’t be too hard on yourself though, 

learn to let go of this carpet when it’s time, 

learn to heal, 

learn to feel that things happen and life stops for no one. 

Move dear, move forward, 

move into the light that awaits , 

whether right or wrong, you will find a way. 

Stay hopeful. Stay blest.

Much love. 

Advertisements

Dear Future Husband #4

Hey hubs,

If you see me right now. You’ll probably be horrified. I’m fighting anxiety and stress when it’s blowing me crazy.

I’m terrified. And then I breathe and repeat in my head that “This too shall pass.”

Had you met me a few years back down the lane, you’d probably meet a total contrast of myself right now.

She was much more focused, happy, successful and going after a dream crazy girl. All organized and planning and being the meticulously brilliant.

She had a better impact on people she cared about .

I know things have gone downhill.

That girl , believe me , never ever failed.  She always aced.

Me now , is a victim to procrastination and self doubts. The first time I failed perhaps made a huge impact. The cycle is still on. And I can’t find a way to resurface. Everything seems to be just going haywire. I have had difficult experiences at work. Somehow they made me have far too many self doubts, especially my first work place experience, it did leave a massive scar.

Sometimes the things you need to let go,  perhaps you have let gone, aren’t the things you can ever easily forget. And so even when you blend in, it still makes you feel like your life’s missing the cream. And along with a zillion blessings, there will also be a dozen regrets.

And no matter how you try reframe your mind to function, until you find your inner peace back again, you can’t stop the inner rain . This is exactly how you drain your happiness and harness a void. And to fill it back, you crave for light and some magic beans like Jack trapped in soiled. Because that is what we crave – Hope- for a better tomorrow. A way out of a mess.

I keep having thoughts of not feeling like I have it in me. But I know I do. I can do this. If only i break out of this miserable phase.

I wish you were around so I could talk like this for real, and some how I could rely on your support mechanism to motivate me and help me get back to what I can achieve.

I hope I do it on my own though. I can’t wait for you to turn up, it might be too late to save me from my ruins then.

I’m an emotional wreck with a career block. Or do I have a career here as a writer and artist  ?

I’m still trying to figure out.

You know what hurt love ?

Is meeting the teachers who once had that pride in their eyes , that I secured a rank, a state rank at academics. But years later when I see them, they could see me struggling, and all I saw was pity.

That hurts.

Me feeling miserable is one thing, others who once were proud of your achievement looking down on you, is just another new feeling to deal with.

I want to so desperately get this phase over with.

I hope you are doing fine, unlike me.

If not I pray God help you too, because along the way I’ll need you to be my pillar.

And as I hush my fears, and breathe, asking Lord to give me courage, I want you to know , even though I’m struggling, I’m still brave.

I will fight this. Because the good thing is a reward that I’ll have, a motivating career perhaps, but the better thing is , Someday I’ll have you.

If I know something, is that, having someone to love and be loved, to share and be there, makes the tough rides feel alot better, alot more sweet and easy.

Take care love.

Come soon.

Your’s in God’s time,

Lea.

____________________________________________________________

If you wish to connect with me : Follow me :

 Instagram

Facebook 

Youtube

Twitter  

_____________________________________________________________

I give you the lil hope I have..

Dear friend,
This may not be much, since we cant expect God to help us ,when we dont help ourselves. But than I feel, like every failure is a blessing in disguise,and this phase may be alil more  disappointing now, but then I have this thought ,if it was my child  in place of me ,at this moment where I feel distraught, I wouldn’t give up on her, and so, God being my eternal Father, wont give up on me , and that’s enough to keep me going. I’ll be fine. Regardless of where I end up,  I can make my life good ,if I have God with me. Am not gonna let negativity make me feel any lesser,  Even though I failed myself in more ways than one, God wont.

I wont expect a miracle. But I’ll expect courage and peace from above. It’s a storm ahead. But after a few weeks it will be a nightmare of the past. And I hope this is a lesson enough to help me sail better..

I’m in a worse situation than you.. when I should be having a sound job, and helping my family. Being dependent at this age, and still struggling to get my life in order is something that makes me feel like an utter disappointment to many.

I believe am in this tunnel, on my way out.. even you are.. and lets remember at the end of every tunnel -there is light.

I’m not suicidal. Because  I’ve always been an anti-suicidal person,  even though I can’t stand people who do that to their parents and loved ones, But they have their reasons and I have mine. I knw how they feel. I get those disgusting thoughts too, but if I dint try my best to win,  I cannot lose.  It’s a lost cause now,  but not forever.

One bad chapter, and a horrifying storm is not the end. There’s more. There’s gotta be. Life has ample of opportunities. There’s lots of good to do and more better to be.

I have some more of nightmares ahead of me. I can already picture the monsters creeping on the way ahead. And if I dint try to fight them and move on, I will have to let go of a dream.
And that, is suicidal in a way.

No one loves giving up on a dream. And choosing other alternatives. But sometimes we have to do what will help us thrive better.

So let’s see what happens.
This may be a negative phase. But I know. I’ll survive. There’s hope.

This hereunder is my Bible blessing for the day:
Genesis 24:50
“Since this matter comes from the Lord, it is not for us to make a decision.”

My interpretation:
Sometimes we face situations where we cannot decide what to choose, because the path is already paved (chosen) for us and we just have to go with the flow.

You are on this path for a purpose, it is the great plan of the Almighty.

He has got you, stop getting worried. Remember at the end of the tunnel is where the light shines. Let not the darkness bother you.
Leave it all to God, your fears and anxiety, let Him decide for you. He knows what’s best for you.

You are not a disappointment but a blessing.
You are not a failure but His victorious child.
He will help you.
Do not doubt it. He is your shield.

Moreover you are a pawn in His Hand. In the hands of a winner , in the hands of Victory Himself, you are safe.  He will not toy you, but keep you safe and will grant you peace.

Open up to let him decide and bless you . Trust in Him.

Much love,

Leandra.

That’s how I want my Canvas…

And when I see it turning grey,

I look around for brighter shades,

Not soon I find the red I want,

But I keep searching , not wanting the black to haunt.

 

As soon as I find the colour pots,

I want them all to mess the grey spots,

Hide the black, fill all gaps,

Re-design my life map.

 

Oh Canvas! Oh Canvas! I want you all bright.

But if you’d show me my life,

Shouldn’t you be alike?

 

And thus, I add back the grey,

and alil of black,

And there’s my canvas

with all colours intack.

 Life-Is-A-Great-Big-Canvas

Take a step ahead.

Before you start I don’t have this and that.

Your tomorrow will never come.. You need to Stop complaining.. Stop looking for what is less and more and this and that..Stop thinking so much..
Just do it..

PAINT YOUR CANVAS JUST THE WAY YOU LOVE IT BEST.

… Remember you can’t buy the time that goes by..
Do something with your passion..

Create your opportunities rather than waiting for things to come your way or happen the way you want..

WAITING is wrong.. Your talent and capabilities are your weapon.

Be wise and use it.

Inspiration is a feeling that drives you to be a happy satisfied being.

We all need it. It adds friction or should I say fluidity to our movements in life.

Life needs to be lived in an artistic way. Live in the colours, flow in your passion, strike out and design and keep redesigning till you see the picture your mind weaves.

Our palettes are always so full, yet we complain for shades we desire not once giving a thought to what is there is actually what we deserve. We let it dry. And then we wail.

Why?

Why is it tough to appreciate what is around us, in us and within our reach?

We know we shouldn’t be looking at shut doors but we still fail to see the doors that are open and slowly closing without our knowledge.

We know what is right and what is wrong.

We know it. But the problem is WE DON’T ACT. We don’t take a step. We are too damn busy trying to figure out the meaning of our neighbour’s canvas rather than glancing at our own.

No-one will solve your problems for you. Not even GOD. Because you are given them, to learn, to grow, to embrace your fears, to become more than what you are.

Accept your palette and paint your life. Sketch it, imagine it, feel it, dream it, and finally just get yourself together and throw your colours across. Design and keep redesigning your life canvas.

Image0908

Small things I feel that can give peace:

  • Don’t be a critic. But be an appreciator.
  • Don’t be proud. But be humble.
  • Don’t ask questions. But be an answer to the unanswered.
  • Don’t feel accomplished. But be hungry to grow above everything.
  • Don’t quit. Every end is a new beginning.
  • Don’t feel sorry. But learn to never repeat a mistake.
  • Don’t hesitate. But speak politely.
  • Don’t just hear. Listen.
  • Don’t expect. But be cautious.
  • Don’t imprison yourself. But always find a way to set free.
  • Don’t command obedience. But ignite the flame of inspiration.

I can go on. But the ultimate key to peace is GOD– the other name for Eternal love.

HE can help you design the most exquisite canvas.

Racing towards my Dream!

Running my own race

Oh! I cannot sleep!

Cause when my Dream hits my face

It hurts very deep.

Bad I think, and bad I get!

So why not good?

No question of regrets.

 

I’ll walk tall, I’ll run through it all,

It’s my race,

No one will for me face.

 

I’m stronger each time I fall,

I’m a fighter, cause when am down I still crawl.

 

I’ll reach the end, claim my land,

hold my dream, with a victorious scream.

 

There’s no need to cling,

Just let go of all nasty things,

Cause now it’s “Me and my dream!”

Right through me like a light beam-

Happiness will glow and Laughter will flow,

Only when I’ll never stop running after

My desperate dream!

bling-brown-chance-dreams-Favim.com-614396

Am at a phase in life, where sacrifices alone will lead me to my dream.

All of us will certainly have one such desperate dream or aim.

Something that makes or gives your life a whole new direction , a meaningful purpose .

We often have enough excuses and situations that make us question this dream, whether running after this dream will be worth it? or whether its best if we try finding a different purpose for our life? Some of us , may even get a different purpose, maybe even better than what you gave up.

But there will be a time , when you will still have this question hanging around the space you breathe in :

“How would my life be, IF ONLY HAD I RUN AFTER MY DREAM?”

Some of us may have regrets, while some might be the lucky ones feeling what they have is better than what they let go.

“The dream that creates  a feeling of regret in you after you let go of it, is the dream YOU SHOULD RUN AFTER!”

“It is NEVER TOO LATE TO RUN, to race, to submit to your dreams.”

REMEMBER this always:

“I am here, on this earth,  to Live ONE RACE- MY OWN RACE. No one else can run it for me. Neither can I run their race for them. If I’m still breathing- then my life still has an unfulfilled purpose, the race is still on, it needs a direction, the path towards the dream that will satisfy the hunger of my spirit. And I alone can make this happen.”

Life is a gamble, you gotta make tough choices.

The more you understand, the interesting it gets.

The more you dig, deeper you go.

The more you search, even more you find.

The faster you run your own race, victory will definitely greet your face.

Be sure.

YOU CAN, IF YOU BELIEVE .

YOU ARE, WHAT YOU BELIEVE.

bling-brown-chance-dreams-Favim.com-614396n

GO RUN, CHASE AND LIVE YOUR DREAMS. JUST KEEP GOING.

The most passionate bond is the one  between YOU & YOUR DREAM.