Tag Archives: Time

The mighty pause

DEAR  ME,

It’s been a very long time indeed. I haven’t been myself in this period- I’ll refer to as “the pause of my life.”

It had been a Philippians-4-6-7whirlpool of riotic feelings and pessimistic visions for as long as it lasted.

I am truly glad it’s over. The most difficult time in it all was for me to realise and accept that I had the key to shut it all once and for good. But I took my own time drilling me into an ocean of  desolation and grumpiness.

I took time feeling unworthy, shattered, lost, Carl-Jung-Quote-Even-a-happy-life-cannotand seeing failures and dark pits at every horizon.

They kept telling me ” this ain’t you, wake up. I learnt to be brave from you. I learnt to accept change from you. I learnt to be optimistic from you.  You can’t be this negative. Stop inflicting self pity and torture.”

The words rang deep. But all I felt was hollow. It felt unreal, did I really mean all that? Did I really be someone who I am not now? How did I change? How do I change back? Where do I find the key I misplaced?

Questions and questions.. Never ending ordeal of pessimistic notions.

quotes-keeping-faith-anne-lamott-600x411

So many “Cannots, may nots, Will not, have not, not enough,…. ”

Oh! God save me, It felt like someone was ripping my soul before me to shreds and I stood there dumb, shakened, absorbed in the ruthless moment of misery.

It felt like someone inside me wanted to scream but I just couldn’t break free. I didn’t know how, nor when, nor what.

face-your-own-shaddow-quote-picture-good-life-quotes-pics-600x495It’s just a moment that was all that I needed to snap out of this nightmare.

What a horrifying nightmare indeed!

There’s alot this pause taught me.

Analysing the situation. Analysing my life, me.

Accepting that I can control  the thoughts that  govern my life.  That I will see the good in the bad. That I will be an optimist in the most undesired life situations. That I can go beyond this phase of negativity and lunge into the heaven of good positive vibes.

Things that we lose are things that we dont deserve. Things that we get are beautiful blessons ( blessings+ lessons).

13027247Sometimes it is so difficult to forgive, when you are not asked to forgive. Sometimes it’s so difficult to forget what you forgive. And Sometimes it is so difficult to accept the wrongs you’ve done and to move on. Yet in time, we do it all naturally. Do not force yourself, what has to happen will find a way gradually.

Life never promised that the canvas would remain colourless. When there are colours of warmt and liveliness, everyone feels the joy, but when the canvas gets splayed with dark spots, not everyone is able to appreciate the hidden beauty in it.

Not everyone is able to see the better picture before us.

It takes time to see through what we don’t want to see.

It takes time to accept what we are not ready to.

And it takes time to appreciate what we accept.

There’s a hell lot of difference when we say, we forgive from our heart and keep no grudges, no regrets, no remorse, no crudeness, no hatred. The question is what or whom do we forgive?

The deed and the person are two differentiable things.

When you forgive the deed, you have forgiven the person. You have forgiven yourself. And so to rest you have laid your negative emotions. You have compassion towards you and your fellow beings. You won’t run or escape or ignore what is so tangible and before your eyes. You can face anything, when you have the peace within. This peace gives strength, hope, faith and courage to be more resilient and more welcoming to the endless difficult phases of life.

And when you forgive the person without forgiving the deed. You will never be at peace. You will never be able to be compassionate with yourself.

To reach out to your soul, you need to be at peace- peace that stills away all that is unbalanced and let’s you walk through the doorway to meet your own-inner-self. Only then you feel relaxed and calm.

You need to succumb to no evil pressures but to God ( any Positive source of energy) alone.

You need to be in oneness, with the image of your soul. Only through compassion you can see the reflection of your soul in the acts of your human form.

(what I meant by “Deed” : Deed is that act or moment or notion that you find unforgivable, or that disturbs you internally, or makes you lose your sense of judging reality)

“TAKE IT EASY, BUT DON’T TAKE IT LIGHT.” – these words my brother said to me will always be with me.

Negativity of your thoughts and people takes us nowhere but into worse negative situations..

But positivity will take us a long way, its a slow but the best antidote for a long term life gain..

I failed in my efforts to get my goal, the goal I always wanted. But now because of this pause I am suddenly not so sure, if it still is what I want. I will take my time to find a way in or a way out.

But for the time that I lost, I can’t use the time that I have in wailing and sniffing about it. I need to restucture my way of life, so I know That I will never have to worry about unstable roots again. I need to focus on growing and learning to bloom in spring, to provide shade in summer, to give warmth every winter, to reach out to the sun, to be a shelter to those in need, to absorb the negativity around and give away positive vibes, to plant a tree of hope and self-reliance in everyone who walks by me.

I need to never forget to be ever so grateful, for the arms that reached out to me, the smiles that encouraged me, the love that helped me out a mess I created. Thank you.

And the best thing that the pause gave me is the experience of God. That he never forsakes. That it’s okay to fall, but it’s not okay  to not try to rise after the fall. That I am His Child, born to be victorious. And I have a spirit of life and peace that sets me free from all bondages of evil, sin and darkness.

And here I am resurfacing  from the depths of the unwanted sea of pessimism.

I am the writer of my life, and I will write it till the end.

I will change the course of my ship, when I have to, even if I’m not ready.

I will enjoy the nasty jerks and mild swings of every tide.

I will build my life into something that I will always love.

And I will appreciate the fact that at all times I HAVE ENOUGH.

I will live a life of gratitude.

Advertisements

Burst bubbles – are Lessons learn’t

Time to break some bubbles. Has this ever happened to you? somethings that once were so wonderful , now have left a sour taste in your mouth? How is it that the “once upon a time right thing” , suddenly goes all wrong? It’s like someone just burst your bubble. And you don’t quite like it , maybe because its alil rough. But guess what?

BRAVOO!!! You’re finally awake… and out of a dreadful dream.

There comes a time for most of us where we ponder about our past. How was it? And what all happened in there! And where have we reached … and where are we to go? Aaah! ….Too many questions. Now that I was saying past, there’s gonna be tons of regrets , grudges, bad stressful moments ,and so on and so forth. That’s the negative part of it. If we look on the positive side.. then there are a million more blessings and beautiful moments that have stored in them a lot of our pride, laughs, smiles , and all those goody things along the line.

We can’t toss these two sides of our past, both are part of the same coin.

There’s always gonna be some moments when we will be totally happy or awfully sad. Whether it’s the past, present or future… there are certain things we need to consider in life:

1] If you are a person who tries to reach out to people, help them live life better. REMEMBER: Whilst helping, help yourself too. I don’t mean “be selfish”. What I mean is:

“DO NOT DEGRADE YOURSELF in the process of UPGRADING your fellow beings.”

2] Learn to say NO. There are times when it is so completely difficult to say “NO”. But come-on, it’s a human right we need to exercise when needed. Just say it. “No, I’m fine with what I have.” “No, I don’t want it.” “No, I have too much on my plate already.” “No. I can’t help you.( because right now I am busy helping myself.)” “No , It’s not me that’s changed , but my vision.” A simple “No” can help you a long way. It will help you not be over-burdened. It will help you operate a healthy lifestyle where people will not take you for granted. It will give you an opportunity to work best with what all you have. Efficiency and peace you will achieve.

Just a “NO” , will remind some the importance of your presence. This “NO” will help remind you, of your lost sense of existence.

3] Never try to open closed doors. I’am sure we all as kids, have had situations- when our parents told us not to do a certain thing, but out of curiosity, we still pay no attention to the instructions and do the untold. Et voila , there comes MR.TROUBLE smiling evilly as always. We need to realise and pay attention closely to what our elders say, because they say out of experience. May not always be right, but if you think logically most of it will be right. Ignore the superstitions though. I’m sure we know to differentiate.

Well, Some doors are meant to be closed. Don’t try acting too smart, wearing a cloak of fake strength and getting all “SUPERMAN-ish”…. the power thing works in movies. In real, we are humans and we gotta deal with things the best way we can to cope better.

So, superman stuff wont work here. But if you still wish to be the nosey lil cat, go ahead and try opening the shut doors. Let me warn you, there’s more trouble you’re inviting than just a pinch because:

YOU WILL FIND THE REASON WHY IT IS MEANT TO BE SHUT FOR GOOD.

IMG_1968124013905

4] Do not over-think My dear, we’ve got one life. And even if some chunks of it ,so far, have been bad, atleast some of it has been good. DO not over-blow your brain. It needs “no sort of mental abuse”. Go with the flow. Live life. You will lose alot of things. You will gain alot more. Lessons to be learnt. Friends to be earned. Memories to be made. Optimism- don’t let it fade.

It is a torture to dwell in negativity, depressive thoughts and lost hope. No-one promised life would be a bed of lilies. But yes, many say “It’s a WALK TO REMEMBER.” Indeed it is. People come and go. Things happen. Changes occur every now and than. And this is how it will always be. we can’t cling on to anything. The world is more of temporary stuff. And let’s not forget, we are not born to live forever, but to die blissfully. Let us as well live and taste everything we are offered and what we grab.

If we fret for all we lost, then there’s no end to the agony. But if we let it just be, and move on to see the blooms in our life. There’s a possibility for many rainbows to see.

5] Live with HOPE. And IN FAITH. Hope is the incentive that motivates us to live and keep walking to see the morrows. It may be a wish, a dream … just anything.. -that keeps you going.. Just like faith. Faith is the power to trust the unknown and believe that there’s something better even in the worst. We all know what HOPE and FAITH together can do. They are like Alladin’s magic carpet. You just gotta believe , breathe and hold on to it. Because it leads you somewhere when you stand on cross-roads .

6] LET GO. IMG_155555I’m sure we all have certain grudges , mistakes and some wrong decisions for which we may have-to pay a price our whole life. I am certain we all have done enough to repair and redesign these situations. But it all just went wrong and out of control. Okay. SO WHAT? It happened. Its gone. There’s nothing a tear shed can do- to undo it, to wipe it off our burdened shoulders. There’s nothing feeling sorrier will do. But all this will only keep you mentally unstable. You maybe perfectly normal to the world. But deep within you know there’s so much of compressed emotions. So much of frustrations. So much of unhealthy thoughts.

It is okay. SAY IT. FEEL it. FORGIVE. FORGET. At least TRY. MOVE ON. CHUCK IT.

DONT MAKE YOURSELF MISERABLE. That’s worse. GIVE YOURSELF a chance to heal, get over it, and breathe freely some air of relief.

Sleep at night not caring a damn of any messy grudges.

We need to remember that :  we do have a choice to choose the thoughts that could govern us. So let them be healthy, fresh, good and not at all part of the leftovers of yesterday. Each morning you wake, remember how good it is to feel “ALIVE”, breathing in the fresh morning sunshine, and starting a new day with a renewed spirit.

7] Be Self- sufficient. It is only when we depend on others, we sometimes face situations when we wish we’d rather not.

Expectations are not always proportionate to the acts of reality.

I don’t mean have no friends, be a loner or anything like that. What I mean here is-

Even if tomorrow you feel that you need someone, and no-one turns up beside you, you still have it in you to overpower the negativity and say and believe: “I am enough to win this battle.”

Dreaming is fine. But when you need to be realistic: Don’t waste precious time sitting to imagine, but be practical and come up with witty actions. Keep you mind on your shoulders and not your heart.

8] Be close to your POWER HOUSE. You need it all the Time.

For me its my GOD. It could be any source that could fill  you with immense strength, power, self confidence, faith, hope, understanding, wisdom , et cetera. By power-house I mean. The source on which you can depend blindly and know it will never fail you. The source that can keep the positive flame always alight and burning in you. The source that gives you boundless inspiration to LIVE to the fullest, LAUGH at all chaos and LOVE without a doubt.

   IMG_3623185376606Dear friends, Life is like the whispering wind. It blows through the meadows of happiness, over the tides of difficulty . Life is in you and around you. It is so very beautiful . Giving us opportunities to be awakened to renew ourselves every new day. Each day is a blessing to understand “what Life is this?”. That keeps you spellbound and awed in all its wonder.

Stay blest and happy.

Bitter-sweet moments.

  IMG_213975697623218It’s only when you start working you realise how cruel the world can be!

“Do I have it in me to make it my own?”

Change What you can, move past what you can’t.

Simple rule.

ADAPT and get yourself tuned to the music of reality.

Had started this journey  with a goal in mind
Met people  so cruel, so unkind!
….not all was good, not all was bad….
Have so much to worry, so much to be sad..
I’d often  question,” where  did it all go?”
The fun, the frolic, those laughing rows.
It was all so merry, so peaceful ,  so light.
To have friends around you day and night.

Walking this alien road,
I see so much has changed.
Lines have grown  on my forehead. Oh what strains!
How much I wish  I could  go back in time,  and live some  more.
But this is reality.  No wonder  life’s  painfully  slow.

Why do I feel it a burden?
IMG_214494818065520Can’t I make it a jolly ride?
If I have it in me! Time  will decide.

Alas! Too long have I forgotten  the goal I so wanted.
It’s time I get over these annoying  tangles, and see that my focus  doesn’t get tainted.

It’s still a journey. One I ought to live.
Let me learn to love it.
Let me be at ease.
I can. Can’t  I?
If I want to, won’t  I?
I will, will I not?

Move on,  past the things making me hold on to grudges.
I will atune myself  to the new music  of my reality.

Days tumble into night, and I wonder when will I get that break?

Always trying to make me feel lighter, no matter how much I get bit by snakes.

It’s not crude. It’s just the bitter side.

IMG_214600670299387

Sometimes life’s just a beautiful messy ride.

CHANGE…..

a8626969559de2bb171b0d9528a71cc9

Times Change… People Change…

Thoughts Change.. Feelings Change… Paths Change…

EVERYTHING CHANGES…

You.. Me…He..She..We..

all change.. CHANGE IS LIFE!

Smiles change to Tears.. Moments to Memories..

Hope changes to Faith… and Understandings To Expectations…

Love to blind Trust..

A fresh green leaf one day withers away..

small babies in time grow old..

WHAT I HAVE NOW , MAY NOT BE MINE TOMORROW..

when time plays games.. Nothing can stop the power of CHANGE.

EVERYDAY, EVERYONE, EVERYTHING,  EVERY MOMENT, changes…

Why nights turn to days??

Why happiness is followed by sorrows??

Things we EXPERIENCE, Things we DO, Things we SAY, Things we LEARN, Things we THINK, Things we FEEL, Things we HOPE, DREAM, WISH ,WANT.... Things we DESIRE

ALL THINGS CHANGE!!!!!!

LIFE CHANGES ….

not because we want it to change, but “BECAUSE THERE’S SOMETHING IT WANTS TO CHANGE IN US”

WE CHANGE…..

not because life wants us to change, but “BECAUSE WE WANT TO CHANGE OUR LIFE”

like a spark of lightening across the darkest sky ,

a ray of hope in the smiles we receive…

signs life gives us,

sometimes we are prepared…. sometimes we aren’t..

CHANGE can be SUDDEN..

CHANGE can be SWEET..

CHANGE can be a PAIN..

CHANGE IS SIMPLY A NEW BEGINNING EVERY TIME WE WISH NO CHANGE…

we can’t avoid change but ACCEPT it… UNDERSTAND it.. GROW with it…

and let it CHANGE us for better…!