Category Archives: Random Thoughts

Sometimes.

And sometimes life will take you to paths forbidden, paths you never wished to walk,

paths unknown, paths with steep slopes and dangerous rocks,

Sometimes you will assume that you are doomed, and God has been unfair, 

Sometimes you fail to see that the path you took wasn’t what you wanted, but needed to be who you are.

Each different direction life takes us and we act rigid to accept, adapt and change, 

Each time the wrong which feels too very wrong, 

has something right about it hidden in its depths,

something about finding yourself,

something about learning to love one self,

something about learning who you are,

how much you can take,

and how brave you can be,

These directions take us through the furnace and through the meadows,

sometimes we get so used to the furnace, the grill, the burns, that accepting the meadows feels alien.

and sometimes the meadows feel like home and the furnace like a never ending prison.

Everyone at some point, has this fluctuation.

You go through all that you go through to rise through it and become something even more wiser than before. 

The refusal to change and act rigid is the process of denial. Snap out of it. You can’t escape the paths. 

Some of us are so cautious, that we plan every day of our lives. Mind you the inevitables and paths that you need to take work through a divine plan and will find a way over and above your plans. 

Call it fate, destiny, karma or God… For me it’s God.

Life is preplanned by God, but is an unknown present to us. The present where we breathe is NOW, unwrapping the gift, parts we love, parts we like, parts we hate, parts we deny. But all of it hidden, known and unknown; liked , loved or hated, or denied, is life. 

Accept what it is, for this will help you accept you. Rigidity to accept life tantrums will slower your process of being you. 
Have a good day.

#15 Her_thoughts 

They said….

she was a mere bookworm on the sidewalk.

she couldn’t ever be a Cinderella in a play.

she could act like a man just fine in a live crib.

her duskiness, was a dismay.
I say…

She wasn’t meant to fit your lowest estimates.

She wasn’t a choice for you to make.

She was caramel, make no mistake,

sweet, rich, delightful and arrogant to venomous hissing snakes.

Her sidewalks, was where you stood criticising,

Her road, was a journey,

from what you doubted,

to what she had trouble accepting.

And that acceptance,

is love for herself,

withdrawn from your savage.

She wasn’t ever meant to fit in Ella’s shoes,

She was meant to hold her crown,

much higher than your cursed life cage

#leeevibes

.

.

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#takethat 

#lipstickundermyburkha

#lipstickrebellion

#loveself

Lil drops of paint.

Do you know 

what a few drops of paint could do ?

It could paint your canvas anew!

Toss it over,

and move your hands,

add a few designs, textures and don’t plan,

let it flow, 

your thoughts finding paths

on blank pages and canvas,

Fall in love ,

with every sprinkle,

every dip,

every hue and shade,

as you create,

let yourself be filled with wonder,

there’s no imperfection,

there’s no blunder,

if you let yourself not hesitate but wander, 

in this lil space you created,

a place to be ,

in a moment so isolated ,

very much real,

very much true,

as you understand 

alil more deeply 

the joy of the greatest creator

who made you.
#leeevibes

#artistdiaries #writerdiaries #writerden #artistden #paintwrite #create #creativemodeon #creativityissoullust
#abstractart #abstract #espression #artist #instagood #artexpression #woods #trees #colours #fusion #explosion #instagood #instamood

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#14 Her_thoughts

For years,

all she learnt was what people hate

about her,

and their hate,

became what she hated too.

What they said,

became what she believed.

Until it became so unbearable,

that she let go of the hate,

that crushed her whole.

And now all the parts that the world

disapproves about her,

are the very edges she is learning to love,

and all those edges the world envied she had,

are becoming her solace for fresh beautiful starts.

So now when all is hushed,

and all is calm,

even the chaos seems to drift apart.

She is learning to shut it all out,

you, your actions , your words, dear world even your mocking laughs,

I’ve learnt you are brutal ,

but I’ve also learnt you can be warm and kind and motivating and beautiful,

So I will choose to ponder on the good vibes you gush my way,

than the harsh ones that always cause dismay.

(This pic is clicked by me .)

#leeevibes

#grateful

#happy

#saturdayblues

#goodvibes

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#13 Her_thoughts 

Because even in its raw form,

I fell in love,

I twisted the brushes,

and cut through it rough,

layered it with paints,

so all pierced cuts were sealed.

And slowly just as the struggle kicked off,

everything that hurt began to heal.

And so in the chaos,

I found beauty,

beauty that lies deep within,

And in my serenity,

I chose to sing,

even when the lights were bleary dim.
#leeevibes

(this is painted by me…. actually it is the making of one of my masterpieces..  this one is incomplete and raw.)

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The Letter #2

Dear Father in heaven,

How are you? I haven’t asked you that one question for as long as I could remember me praying to you.

We have spoken, we shared our views through your Word. Your Holy words have always guided me. Yet I wonder why didn’t I ask you How you are doing, perhaps thinking You are The great God, and you certainly would be doing good. Forgive me for taking you for granted dear Father.

Dear Lord, I have failed you endless times, and yet each time you show me the way back. The way back to you is in Prayer, Holy Eucharist and through Your Word alone.

It’s been ages , I haven’t written to you.  I have been procrastinating on our letters. I have been putting off our talks. These talks that make me feel lighter and glad and calm.

I could feel that strange sense of being over burdened, those sounds of a complaining soul in me. I could feel me going astray and trying to find answers. Answers to why you would do this to me.

I knew in it all, I am no one to judge, I who lack the wisdom you have, I who lack the understanding of your plans for me, I who fail to see that you are in the centre of my chaos, I who lack faith in the times of storms , when I know you can help me tread on rough seas. You can help me walk through anything. 

Because you are infinite. You are divine. You know everything. You are everywhere. You are omni potent, You are eternal, You are love. You are hope. You are faith. You are my father.

Whatever I feel, you feel. Whatever hurts me, hurts you. And you are always there.

As we often face storms, tough life situations, You are there, even when we question Your presence, You are with us. We fail to see this Lord, because we focus on our storms, on the chaos, on the mess that we are, instead of keeping our eyes fixed on you, we fail to see that in the midst of it all is You. All You want us to learn is to focus on You in turmoils ,weakness and moments of exasperations.

Because you are peace. You are serenity. You are heaven and the glimpse of true happiness, true love, true mercy. You are the fountain of forgiveness. 

We wrong you Father, all of us, Your very own, we hurt You, we blame You, we call You names- unjust unkind, we question Your plans, we crave for happiness without experiencing pain and hardships , and often forget that You too can feel pain, pain that we all feel, you feel it much more intensely. 

Pain that Jesus felt, dying on the cross, feeling You abandoned Him, You felt it much more, because You were there with Him, You died with him, and You rose with Him, altogether, one in the Spirit.

Oh Holy Father, almighty and wonderful, forgive me, I, Your child come to You, forgive me for not understanding and being a judge, when I have no knowledge or wisdom that can redeem generations, I am no judge, I am nothing, but your child, help me Lord, as I come back to You, help me stay calm in every storm and focus on You. Help me help those who have gone astray come back to You. Help me to learn to focus on You and not the mess I feel I am.

Because dear Lord, it is very easy for the evil to combust my mind with endless thoughts of whys and what ifs and question Your plan, help me fight this overthinking trap and believe in You and Your salvation for me. 

Overthinking is the trap of the evil, that often makes us lose focus on God and lose ourselves in the messy storms our mind creates.

There are many of us, prisoners of such chaotic traps, bless us Oh spirit with your Holy gifts :  wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, fear of God alone ;

so we learn to choose to focus on His Holiness and trust in His righteousness always and forever. Because He has not given us a spirit of fear. And we should never fear anything or anyone but God. Because our God is supreme and powerful and just and Mighty and King of kings. Our God is good all the time, and he will make a way where there seems to be no way.

I choose You Lord. I always will.

I know now, I don’t have to feel like I lost You, because You are always with me. Even when I fail to see, I will try to focus on You and have faith on You- My Rock of salvation.

Thank You Father for coming for me.

Thank you Jesus for standing with me.

Thank you Spirit for igniting this flame of faith in me.

Love from the child that will always worship and Praise Your Most Holy Name,

Lea.

(This picture is taken from the internet.)

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#12 Her_thoughts

All that was said, confused her more,

buried were mysteries waiting to pour,

deep thoughts, serious words,

wrecked havoc with her fears,

Insane were the expectations,

tearing apart her soul,

what would it be like,

had she been in a different role ?

Lil steps,

a few more days,

awaiting her freedom rays,

Deep breaths,

some more courage,

She could withstand

the coming haze.
#leeevibes
#depth #life #doodling #art #sketching #penpaper #create #motivate #instamood #instagood #doodlesofinstagram #doodlediaries #leeevibes

#doodles #painting

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(the above illustration is made by me.)