Tag Archives: choices

Tiny details – more life.

Doesn’t this look like a card ?

Even though the edges of an unused canvas have the remains of my last paintings, 

I can’t stop staring at these tiny bits,

that make me sigh in contentment.


When I see them ,

even the tiniest drop of colour,

inspires me,

ignites my spirit,

sets ablaze my being,

it’s like sometimes 

I just can’t control,

this maddening 

urge to paint something, 

anything, everything.


If nature had no colour, 

would it still refuel you and me ?


if my edges won’t have the remains,

would I still fall in love with my work ?


if you have no scars,

would you still have a story 

worth feeling proud about?


if you stack away the remains,

would you still manage to live 

without doubts ? .

Sometimes

things, set us free,

things that go unnoticed,

things that we fail to observe,

those tiny simple things 

that when chosen

make the most perfect choices,

those tiny details 

that make a difference.

Live… acknowledge.. the tiny details.. stay happy… be at peace..

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Sometimes.

And sometimes life will take you to paths forbidden, paths you never wished to walk,

paths unknown, paths with steep slopes and dangerous rocks,

Sometimes you will assume that you are doomed, and God has been unfair, 

Sometimes you fail to see that the path you took wasn’t what you wanted, but needed to be who you are.

Each different direction life takes us and we act rigid to accept, adapt and change, 

Each time the wrong which feels too very wrong, 

has something right about it hidden in its depths,

something about finding yourself,

something about learning to love one self,

something about learning who you are,

how much you can take,

and how brave you can be,

These directions take us through the furnace and through the meadows,

sometimes we get so used to the furnace, the grill, the burns, that accepting the meadows feels alien.

and sometimes the meadows feel like home and the furnace like a never ending prison.

Everyone at some point, has this fluctuation.

You go through all that you go through to rise through it and become something even more wiser than before. 

The refusal to change and act rigid is the process of denial. Snap out of it. You can’t escape the paths. 

Some of us are so cautious, that we plan every day of our lives. Mind you the inevitables and paths that you need to take work through a divine plan and will find a way over and above your plans. 

Call it fate, destiny, karma or God… For me it’s God.

Life is preplanned by God, but is an unknown present to us. The present where we breathe is NOW, unwrapping the gift, parts we love, parts we like, parts we hate, parts we deny. But all of it hidden, known and unknown; liked , loved or hated, or denied, is life. 

Accept what it is, for this will help you accept you. Rigidity to accept life tantrums will slower your process of being you. 
Have a good day.

#15 Her_thoughts 

They said….

she was a mere bookworm on the sidewalk.

she couldn’t ever be a Cinderella in a play.

she could act like a man just fine in a live crib.

her duskiness, was a dismay.
I say…

She wasn’t meant to fit your lowest estimates.

She wasn’t a choice for you to make.

She was caramel, make no mistake,

sweet, rich, delightful and arrogant to venomous hissing snakes.

Her sidewalks, was where you stood criticising,

Her road, was a journey,

from what you doubted,

to what she had trouble accepting.

And that acceptance,

is love for herself,

withdrawn from your savage.

She wasn’t ever meant to fit in Ella’s shoes,

She was meant to hold her crown,

much higher than your cursed life cage

#leeevibes

.

.

_______________________
#takethat 

#lipstickundermyburkha

#lipstickrebellion

#loveself

Carpet of wrong turns.

Hidden carpet of wrong turns ,

take me to the skies,

lead me on , beyond the ways

I couldn’t pass by.

Hear me out, oh Wrong turns!

don’t make my life a lie,

I chose you over 

all that life offered without any spite.

You were so tempting and conniving

Oh Wrong turns!

I was Eve , you – the Serpent,

You bit me, you hissed,

even my tears I risked,

I lost a lot, Oh wrong turns !

Your carpet holds the dead remains,

you snatched away, you gnawed at me,

you left me brutally mundane,

I repent though, Oh carpet of wrong turns!

I repent not thinking wise,

but the lessons you gave,

you made me so brave,

I’m starting to believe, I can rise.

Flying through you , oh carpet of wrong turns !

I’m learning to live my life,

And so now when I choose the right,

I remember how you taught me

from wrongs how to reach out into the light,

So hidden carpet of wrong turns,

within me you reside,

take me over and above my fears,

help me build my might in this fight.

——————-

Choices that we think are wrong. Or have wronged us, in some way or the other, aren’t actually wrong .

There is something right in them. Look harder and someday you shall see what I meant.

I have learnt far more better certain amazing things about life deeply through my wrong turns. No , there wasn’t just once I was wrong, I’ve been wrong a great many times, but I’ve learnt something always and made sure to be wise.

But sometimes it’s not about being wise or practical or living how you are expected to, sometimes it’s about intuition, it’s about feeling something right in the moment, these situations may be right for that moment and wrong in all other, but that doesn’t mean , it’s wrong entirely. For the moment it was created, that choice you made was meant to be, whether wrong or right, everything is fated, it is bound to happen, one way or the other, whatever we choose to live with or depart from, essentially is a part of a much bigger beautiful plan by our God.

So dear there, don’t feel disheartened about being wrong, or choosing wrong , stop feeling disappointed, repent though, work hard to forgive yourself and seek forgiveness where needed, work harder to understand the depths of the lessons hidden in this carpet of wrong turns.

As humans it is pretty normal for us to fall prey to it, don’t be too hard on yourself though, 

learn to let go of this carpet when it’s time, 

learn to heal, 

learn to feel that things happen and life stops for no one. 

Move dear, move forward, 

move into the light that awaits , 

whether right or wrong, you will find a way. 

Stay hopeful. Stay blest.

Much love. 

Be alert. Save a life.

We really need to spread more awareness. Ensure kids and all others have someone they can confide in, seek advice from. There should be counseling done without the idea of making profit but saving lives. Let’s reach out to those struggling and help them know that they aren’t alone , facing such catastrophic battles that make them quit. It’s difficult to break the barriers of a complicated overthinking mind. But having compassion and kindness and being a motivator and not a critic will help us keep our sensitivity as humans intact. If not for the betterment of our fellow beings then simply out of humanitarian responsibility. Listen when its difficult to , when words are unspoken and be there for those you can be. -Leandra.

I came across this image on a facebook page : Knowledge factory. And felt the need to share.

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Realising what her soul needs.

Impending decisions

hurting her brain,

squeezing her heart,

shattered expectations,

endless rains,

ruining her fresh starts,

wishing and praying,

for ways unseen,

to know how to save 

what’s buried deep within ?

breaths so deep,

shudders of panic,

remorse and regrets,

hurting golden reflects,

slave of chosen thorns,

how to undo not being the hopeless pawn?

Conjure the courage,

hustle, you are brave,

hush the storms,

darling just salvage,

what screams for attention,

let it be sought,

for she is there amidst your wrongful retorts,

not lost, not broken, 

just awaiting,

for you to let the door be open,

and not leave her to rot.
_ L E A N D R A _

#leeevibes
#writersofinstagram #writersofinstagram

#writerden #writerdiaries

#writer #soulfood #soulpeace #write #wordporn #deeplove

#soullove #art #abstractart #abstractexpressionism #creativity #create #artistsoninstagram #poem

_____ _____ __________ ______

Before I dive in my write up… let’s read this convo between me and my talented artist friend.

Kim : Check this out . ( A canvas of brilliant work of art )

Me: ***Mesmerised. And sad.***

Makes me want to be an artist. For life.

Kim : I know right!

Me: I wish… I so damn wish  I could go back in time and change fate.

(Inner voice screaming darling it’s never too late.)

Kim : Sometimes even I wish the same but then I remember all that we chose before, brings us to be what we are today.

Me: True that. If I dint have regrets, I’d not have a blog, I’d never know what writing meant to me.

“”””sigh”””

Ok, (deep breath) … It’s not too late to be an artist. Weirdly even today morning I ordered more artistic stuff. Seems like we don’t need a qualification to create. We can do that anywhere, anytime, because being an artist is being born to be one, no one can make you that if you don’t have that passion, that fire.

Kim : Oh Yes True! It’s the best thing we can give back of all that we’ve been given…. the experiences and the choices!

Me: You know, you give me hope when I lose mine. Thanks.

Kim : Same here darling, You’ve always inspired me. . even though we’re like not close friends , it feels I’ve known you like always! .. Thank Youuu!

Me: (I know the feeling… its because our spirits are sisters… )

Thank you too …

Other than that convo, I kinda revealed to my best friend whom I’ve been avoiding for days, because of her super powers of reading me, that I am not happy.

This past month I’ve been home, each day gave me a glimpse of who I am, who I truly am.

A girl with a spirit of an artist, writer and love for music. Passionate and peace loving.

Even though she had the right brain to tackle the tough life she always wanted, or so she thought, somehow she had let her true self be buried, she chose her brain over her heart,

and for the past 3 years it’s been her constant battle. She knew she wasn’t happy, always frustrated and tired of the stressful life.

Even though she worked smoothly in her work life, she knew this was not what she would love to do for life. And that reasoning was something she kept running from.

How can she undo the damage done, 3 years too late to realise,

or has life indeed given her a chance?

How will she face the questions and the society and her family?

When she thinks of the impending decisions,

she wonders if choosing is even a choice.

 

Working with all your heart, brings solace , a profound happiness.

But can she choose that ?

As much as her friend told her to grow a thick skin and face her demons.

Is it worth the risk ?

To see everyone looking at you like a failure, to see the crestfallen gaze of her parents,

She fumbles with the thoughts of broken expectations,

and fears not knowing the answer to –

how will she make them proud again ?

will this be enough ?

Agitated writer’s grumbling.

This happens far too often.

img_20170413_115042_385.jpg

How us writers end up bugging some friends so much that they kinda stop bother checking out your blogs, and in time, you just end up not sending them the links, because well you just realize it’s pointless.

Well, I am so not sorry to have bombarded my blog or IG a/c with numerous posts and updates , because me ?…I often get hit by a WRITERS BLOCK. And that time sometimes stretches for months and weeks and days. And it’s bad.

So each time there’s this flow of words and blissful flood of inspiration, it’s like an energy we got to tap, right there, right then, to produce something raw and remarkable, and forgive me if I do just that.

That’s usually how creative minds work. Don’t they ?

If there’s like this one day we get that whole halo of magical drive to write and sketch or paint or doodle or anything, then why the hell not do we not work on it.

Your irritation isn’t reason enough I stop my chance to enjoy moments of happiness.

Well , I did have some of you point it out and mock on my face, and that coming from people I count on, kinda made me realize maybe I put my faith in the wrong ones all this time.

It’s good to realize certain things and make changes , no one wants to invest too much where its so clearly unnecessary.

Damn right , I’m emotional and sensitive. But then again if I have been involved in your life, I am truthfully giving you my best self .

But sometimes I figure that’s not what some need. They need to see the different aspects you can be.

And in times when I choose my calm, and treasure my silence, in this solitude,

I’m finally fine without the many mocking voices to have called once my own people.

Bless you,

L E A N D R A.

#ramblingsofanagitatedwriter

#dontmesswithawriter

#shecanmakeyouthestory

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