Tag Archives: hurt

Blunders of life.

He left her for someone else ,

& She kinda learnt to re-live.

Even though it hurt so bad,

betrayals make you longer grieve .


He spoke about his endless dreams,

and made her believe she was in.

And on the hill top, as he neared,

He’s very presence had her feared.

Somehow she knew she had to leave,

because the hope he gave,

her heart couldn’t around weave.


He was like butter,

melting over a hot pan,

He tried to make her heart flutter,

then she realized his underlying plans,

He understood she wasn’t his pawn,

& so He shut her out, because she had let him down.


He texted her and got all yo yo!

She cringed and thought- ‘why me though ?’

again She was disappointed with disrespect,

Wishing everyone had a label on their heads,

Hah ! that would have been so utterly perfect!


So much for trying to be more hopeful,

so much for getting down the walls,

with the endless falls,

each encounter made her more remorseful,

but she still stood brave & tall.

No love! she can’t allow you in,

unless you teach her how to trust from within,

give her endless reasons, so you she could believe in,

realizing she doesn’t know anything about love,

hoping you could give her a meaning.

Remember she has far too many doubts, 

& many more fears have crept in,

She is exhausted with meaningless encounters,

so don’t expect her to easily give in .


_ L E A N D R A _

_ R O D R I G U E S _

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#10 Finding Me

Ages back she said this one thing 

“You are too dramatic.”

and it still bothers me like a thorn beneath my feet.

And I want to make peace.

I don’t really know in what context she said it.

If being overly emotional about things is being dramatic  , then I don’t know how to be the normal version you’d prefer. So I’ll stick to being dramatic.

I am pretty sure there are people like me who have such an atomic composition where we are just born sensitive, and I’m one of those that will be in tears for a stupid emotional movie even if that’s among a 100 people in a theatre, pretty much why I avoid sad movies.

Ask me if I would prefer any disney movie or action movies like Batman or Spiderman or Ironman or series like Sherlock Homes, or  Once upon a time, or TVD or even Horror movies (no one should scream in my ears)…. I’m your buddy to enjoy a marathon of them with or without popcorn.

If this will be reason for you to get a chance to call me childish, then  Hey …I am that.

If caring and loving blindly and selflessly  was me being fake, then ,ouch, I’m sorry, it took me so long, but I , now , don’t invest my emotions and faith in just any person.

If my care of messaging was an issue of frustration and nagging, then its great , now I don’t really bother texting or calling anyone.

If you could ignore my presence , to be with people that make you look cool, then , Thanks again, I’m making space for people who can appreciate my presence.
I assure you ,

when I am silent , it is my voice that you shall miss,

when I am not the one motivating , it is my words that will create a void,

when I will have buried all that I wrapped,

my presence will never be yours to cherish.

Because when you couldn’t value what I was,

then you don’t get to watch who I become.
Thank you for the blessons,

I can now so relate to me.

———————————————–

Major life alterations happen when you have more disappointments from people you invest in.

Everyone realises this in time, that it’s best to expect the least from people you naturally expect the most.
But Hey… they are the major #Blessons … Appreciate it.

Take life as it comes.
and start belonging to your soul.
#haveablessedweek

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#confessions (P.S. Probably the last of Finding me series. )

Agitated writer’s grumbling.

This happens far too often.

img_20170413_115042_385.jpg

How us writers end up bugging some friends so much that they kinda stop bother checking out your blogs, and in time, you just end up not sending them the links, because well you just realize it’s pointless.

Well, I am so not sorry to have bombarded my blog or IG a/c with numerous posts and updates , because me ?…I often get hit by a WRITERS BLOCK. And that time sometimes stretches for months and weeks and days. And it’s bad.

So each time there’s this flow of words and blissful flood of inspiration, it’s like an energy we got to tap, right there, right then, to produce something raw and remarkable, and forgive me if I do just that.

That’s usually how creative minds work. Don’t they ?

If there’s like this one day we get that whole halo of magical drive to write and sketch or paint or doodle or anything, then why the hell not do we not work on it.

Your irritation isn’t reason enough I stop my chance to enjoy moments of happiness.

Well , I did have some of you point it out and mock on my face, and that coming from people I count on, kinda made me realize maybe I put my faith in the wrong ones all this time.

It’s good to realize certain things and make changes , no one wants to invest too much where its so clearly unnecessary.

Damn right , I’m emotional and sensitive. But then again if I have been involved in your life, I am truthfully giving you my best self .

But sometimes I figure that’s not what some need. They need to see the different aspects you can be.

And in times when I choose my calm, and treasure my silence, in this solitude,

I’m finally fine without the many mocking voices to have called once my own people.

Bless you,

L E A N D R A.

#ramblingsofanagitatedwriter

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