Tag Archives: deep thought

I wondered…

I wondered what it was like to be ignited ?
to sing in the dark with the rhythm of the light?

I wondered what is was like to be embraced?
to be accepted with the flaws,
to not be ridiculed or chastened?

I wondered what it was like to be free ?
to not have a soul breathing down my neck,
to not live with anxiety?

I wondered how often have I felt peace to be me?
to not look at me in the mirror and see only the imperfections,
to create within me a home?

I wondered what love was meant to do?
to heal the wounds and fade the scars ,
to create a room in my heart that glowed liked the warmest sun?

I wondered what would life be like with less of hate & lack of prejudice?
to have more of trust ,
more of understanding
& more of empowering?

I wondered, I wondered ,
I wondered again,
How would I be, had there been no spotlight my entire upbringing?
would I be someone I can’t imagine?

Relearn to unlearn.

It’s a process of learning,
never ending,
satisfying.
And if you feel stuck once in a while
pause to relearn
so as to unlearn
what was futile.
Close you eyes only for a moment,
take a deep breath
and restore your pretty head.
It’s okay to feel not in control
and struggling in a mess,
you aren’t alone,
life is a zest.
Take your steps
wisely or not,
learn what life will teach you
on those blank dots,
fill in more memories,
more of gratitude,
more of you.
Darling ,
slowly but surely,
day by glorious day,
you find more of you,
love that person
each day you are growing to be.
It doesn’t stop,
you dont have to otherwise see,
nurture your soul,
cleanse you whole.
You are infinite ,
an important scratch
in the universe.
You are the diamond in that uncut coal.

Know that God’s time is always the Right time.

You are in the right time,
All the wrongs are the right things happening/happened to you,
The just and the unjust, liked or detested , everything, everything is happening as rightly decreed.
Fate is unwinding as it was perfectly planned,
Not you neither me can change the lessons that life willingly teaches us,
Are you open to learning ?

Are you at home with falling? Because every time you fall , at your disposal is an opportunity to rise above all, take a new route that leads you home, may be the path that kept throwing you off the cliff wasn’t gonna take you home, and thus it’s time for you search and discover what will take you to the place you’ll feel the most alive. And sometimes its not one place, but many, those many will harbor a different milestone in your journey of seeking purpose and fulfillment.

Take care my friend.

My mind is the sword.

90% of the misunderstandings, petty fights and hurting is because your mind gives more weightage to umimportant details of your chaos.
Stop letting that anxiety and fears dictate the realness of the issue at hand, and that involves controlling your mind and not letting it control you.
You can be free of most of your “unworthy, not good enough, I can’t do it, this ain’t my cup of tea, may be they are better off without me, I should just shut all out..and all such other.. .” syndromes by first acknowledging how charming your lil mind is and how brilliant it indeed is to make you believe in pessimistic notions so easily, STOP! pause and see what’s happening here, your brain is readily accepting the judgements and opinions of people who want to see no growth in you (deliberately & sometimes they won’t be aware of what they are doing to you), your brain is feasting on your insecurities and breeding the parasites of sucking out all the remaining confidence and self reliant attributes you have, that also involves it will degrade your most essential vitamin of “self love.” Your brain cannot be blamed always though, it is as much a part of you as you are to your entire self, you need to wire your brain and teach it how to operate , how to defy the easily believable junk and feed it with healthy mind diet. Practice forceful optimism, take charge to be mindful, stay grounded, fall in love with a gratuitous living, let kindness devour you, let love rekindle your flames, let happiness and peace be a choice.
You can let the situations aggravate your problem at hand by believing in the unrooted parasites or you can be calm in the fire and plan a way out.

It is easy to keep your mind sane in times of stability but it is the the storms where the real challenge occurs .
Remember, your mind can wage a war or it can smartly end one without violence of any kind.

I can let go of everything I want , if I want to really preserve myself.

Take care.

#17 Her thoughts

Anxiety is that negative swirl of emotions that consumes you when you overthink and panic and feel that control has slipped through your grasps.

It’s more of a brain issue than of heart.

Your life is also your baby, you need to tend to it, tantrums and all, you need to feed it good, and nurture and harness it. Do well with what you hold, because what you do hold is dear life.

Someday I hope I’m even more well versed with human psychology and science of understanding emotions, thoughts and the process of reaching mindfulness.
I hope I can depart more of wondrous words and art , before I do depart;
It’s a long term goal.
Because being a writer and artist by heart, was never a choice, it is what chose me, it is Me.

But being anything else professionally will be something I choose, and I hope I’m able to decide on that route well , no matter how late or early.

For each breath is a gift.

Life ?

How’s it going ?

Definitely not like I imagined.

I had this vision. Study a professional course, have some years of experience and someday have my own office, my own cabin. Be the boss of my life. Earn and enjoy life, never once forgetting to thank God.

But that vision is lost in time. Now , I’m not sure what I once wanted is what I need at this hour.

I never once imagined me having a blog, being a writer, making pic quotes, writing a book, inspiring a few , connecting emotionally with many, and fighting the odds of racism, mental work harassments, and body shaming. 

I never imagined that I would see the truth about  the thing I very much once wanted, that it did not have the sparkle I had falsely seen in it. I’m not entirely sure where my happiness lies, at this moment.  Maybe it’s this phase of confusion, I need some much needed “Me time” to decide the route out of my crises.

There are tons of things we never imagined or thought of. Yet they happen to us. Tons of lessons we hoped we never would ever face, yet we become the victims, tons of cautions we undertake, yet the damage is done. Things that we can’t really control, things that throw us off our pendulum. So at unease, leaving us at a terrifying phase. 

And then, we sit to wonder , what did go wrong ? what were the mistakes?

Take enough me time. To delve more deeply into your own self, trying to understand what your life is , trying to understand the situations you face, if you can go through it, or if you have a way out, if you wish to take that way out ? or not? But in the first place if you want to go through it. A choice

A choice is what most often changes every chapter of our life. And sometimes these very choices end up with “what ifs ?” and “whys?” .

Could be a toxic relationship we chose to be in, or decided to break free of, that’s a chapter of love and break up. Pretty messy. 

What if you had chosen to never give it a chance in the first place ? 

There would be no messy chapter, no rough life lessons to learn about letting go and building yourself.

The immence growth that we see in us , after every changing sphere of our lives, is the maturity we are gifted, with the very life lessons that come from hurt, grief, missery, anxiety and broken trust, the very lessons we hope to never face. Yet we must . 

Have courage, to encounter such challenges that crush you time and again, no matter how excruciating the pain or the phase of hopelessness is. 

Because these are the very dawns to our days of victory. Victory over being our true brave mature self.

Fun and frolic is a very essential segment of our life, let not the burden of growth through painful encounters and crises, make you give up on finding growth through laughter.

Because as much as pain and crises tear us apart so we learn how to rebuild our selves from our ashes, so does laughter and happiness heal all our empty spaces.

We need a balance of both , happiness to air float and heal and feel gratuitous, and sadness to keep us grounded and hopeful, and understand the depths of life. 

Life is in those million mini seconds, where your heart squeezes with happiness at a baby laughing, where your eyes shed tears when you are mourning, where you can smile despite a chaotic phase, where you have and acknowledge the many things and people that add something of them to every of your days and nights. 

Life is in these zillion pieces, where you breathe, through the highs and lows, and often forget to  realise what a gift indeed it is to breathe, and stay alive.

Praise the Lord. Praise you Jesus.

Thank you lord, for saving and protecting my loved ones. Thank you for the gift of our lives.

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