Category Archives: letters

Dear Future Husband #7

Hey love,

This will be my endless wishes when it comes to you.

I just want you to stand beside me,

holding my hand so proudly,

I just want to sing through the darkest nights,

knowing you’re right by my side.


I just want your arms to lead me on,

your brave chest for me to lean on,

I want you to be with me for the rest of my life ,

smiling forever knowing you’re mine.


And here as now I stand under this enormous sky,

missing you more daily, that’s not a lie,

awaiting for you makes my heart cry,

I’m dying daily you’ll never know why,

All that you ought to know is,

thinking of you, My love, my days pass by.


I wish you were here, sitting beside me,

staring at me, so I could loose myself into your stunning eyes,

I wish I could know, what you might feel about me,

a “No” from you will kill me alright!

I just wish I could know for sure you will be mine,

I just pray for you day and night.

……
Thinking about you, knowing that you are out there somewhere  caught up with your life, hoping that you too are praying for me like I am for you. And waiting for God to lead us to each other. I am waiting for our story to begin.
Ironic, that I haven’t met you as yet, and I am missing this notion of your presence around already.
Take care love,

Your’s in God’s time ,

Your future Wife.

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Dear Future Husband #6

Heyyyy honeyyyy,

today I’m  happy, for no reason,…

so I have a poem for you….
Walk with me ,

because only when you do,

You’ll know I’m your sunshine 

for the darkest days,

and your joy on the brightest.


Walk with me,

Because sometimes I’m the fire you need to feel fuzzy,

because I’m the twinkling sparkle in the crazy valley.


Walk with me,

because even when I’m gloomy,

You’ll have the best to read,

& while I write, you could watch me in my groove,

and a tadbit of jazz will help lift my spirits.


So Honey just walk me,

because when Im chirpy,

I will make you dance,

and sing crazy,

I’ll write u all the letters when I whine,

and you could tease me as we dine.


Just walk with me


Your’s in God’s time ,

Your love forever.

. … L e a n d r a … .

Someday for you #DFH .
#sigh #summerfeels #colourfulvibes #poetically_yours #poeticmode #poems #words #leeevibes #bliss #romantic

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Dear Future Husband #5

Hey love,

I hope you are doing better than just fine.

I’m kinda chirpy today, might be a writeup I just read about love.

And that makes me want to write to you.

Since you aren’t around yet, what better than write you these letters which hopefully someday you might have the patience and love to read.

I want you to know that I might be as clueless as you or as understanding as you when it comes to the word love.

I want you to be able to open up to me about anything you wish for me to know, and trust me, I will be as understanding as I can. I will accept you with all your flaws and skeletons of the past, and I will hope you give me the same in return.

A chance to heal from wounds that sometimes still hurt, a chance to fall in love without the fear of being ruined , a chance to stay in love till death embraces me, a chance to the acceptance that I fear will never be mine.

I want to be madly in love with you someday, and I’ll want nothing lesser from you, because to love and stay in love is a promise of togetherness, and that needs two to tango to the rythmn of bliss.

I will never expect a bed of roses without thorns, but I will expect your hand to help me stand when I fall, and my arms will always be open to embrace you in our roughest patches.

I want to not hold back on the love I have, when I have you, because I assure you , I am able to love blindly, completely and totally. And I do know such love is consuming and passionate and toxic, but I also know that despite you having the key to toss me to my ashes, you will lead me to the best person I can ever be.

I see us Praying with Gospel music, singing like crazy lovesicks, dancing to relaxing music, laughing in the bright sunshine, and walking in comfortable soothing silence on a darkest twinkling night across the shore.

May be we could even paint bits of our home together, and with you probably cooking might be even more fun. I will wait for the feeling of butterflies in my stomach, my heart running miles and for sparks to fly. Because as much as I know these are words good in books, I still believe we can have it in our real life. And so even though I’m a dreamer here, I will not stop to visualize.

I’m sorry if I’m burdening you with a lot already, but  right now, I can’t help hoping to wake up to tomorrows like this.

See , now you know I’m a hopeless romantic.

Your’s in God’s time.

Your future wife.

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Dear Future Husband #4

Hey hubs,

If you see me right now. You’ll probably be horrified. I’m fighting anxiety and stress when it’s blowing me crazy.

I’m terrified. And then I breathe and repeat in my head that “This too shall pass.”

Had you met me a few years back down the lane, you’d probably meet a total contrast of myself right now.

She was much more focused, happy, successful and going after a dream crazy girl. All organized and planning and being the meticulously brilliant.

She had a better impact on people she cared about .

I know things have gone downhill.

That girl , believe me , never ever failed.  She always aced.

Me now , is a victim to procrastination and self doubts. The first time I failed perhaps made a huge impact. The cycle is still on. And I can’t find a way to resurface. Everything seems to be just going haywire. I have had difficult experiences at work. Somehow they made me have far too many self doubts, especially my first work place experience, it did leave a massive scar.

Sometimes the things you need to let go,  perhaps you have let gone, aren’t the things you can ever easily forget. And so even when you blend in, it still makes you feel like your life’s missing the cream. And along with a zillion blessings, there will also be a dozen regrets.

And no matter how you try reframe your mind to function, until you find your inner peace back again, you can’t stop the inner rain . This is exactly how you drain your happiness and harness a void. And to fill it back, you crave for light and some magic beans like Jack trapped in soiled. Because that is what we crave – Hope- for a better tomorrow. A way out of a mess.

I keep having thoughts of not feeling like I have it in me. But I know I do. I can do this. If only i break out of this miserable phase.

I wish you were around so I could talk like this for real, and some how I could rely on your support mechanism to motivate me and help me get back to what I can achieve.

I hope I do it on my own though. I can’t wait for you to turn up, it might be too late to save me from my ruins then.

I’m an emotional wreck with a career block. Or do I have a career here as a writer and artist  ?

I’m still trying to figure out.

You know what hurt love ?

Is meeting the teachers who once had that pride in their eyes , that I secured a rank, a state rank at academics. But years later when I see them, they could see me struggling, and all I saw was pity.

That hurts.

Me feeling miserable is one thing, others who once were proud of your achievement looking down on you, is just another new feeling to deal with.

I want to so desperately get this phase over with.

I hope you are doing fine, unlike me.

If not I pray God help you too, because along the way I’ll need you to be my pillar.

And as I hush my fears, and breathe, asking Lord to give me courage, I want you to know , even though I’m struggling, I’m still brave.

I will fight this. Because the good thing is a reward that I’ll have, a motivating career perhaps, but the better thing is , Someday I’ll have you.

If I know something, is that, having someone to love and be loved, to share and be there, makes the tough rides feel alot better, alot more sweet and easy.

Take care love.

Come soon.

Your’s in God’s time,

Lea.

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Dear Future Husband  #3

Hey love,

I’m back.

I’ll be waiting to ask you,

What love means to you .

I don’t quite know it myself but the love that I’d want to have with you,

will simply be that smile of holding your hand,

that squeeze of reassurance you’ll give me & I’ll give you , when we each need a push,

that early morning hugs, and good night kisses.

that feeling each time I’ll look at you, and feel my heart explode with happiness,

that feeling of possessiveness, not utterly, but the sweet one knowing we belong.

that jolly atmosphere when we cook together, and even if things burn, we can laugh together.

those moments of us walking silently down the street, or along the shore.

some long rides, some mushy surprises,

so much laughter.

Love is acceptance of our imperfect selves, so we don’t have to fit in the puzzle, we just have to make room for each other, together.

Love is trust, faith, hope & belief, which only grows in time.

Love is being hungry to do good to you, for you, always.

Love is a forever together.

Love is being compassionate and merciful and forgiving, and helping each other to regain life balance.

Love is not just being there, it is feeling the presence even in the absence.

It may not be the happily ever after,

but that feeling of having you,

will make me happy.

What I’ll wait is for the day where even after 50yrs together we shall never get tired of our company.

A love that is an eternal friendship, deep understanding, so many unspoken words reflected in our eyes, read with clarity,

learning about each other, every day,

and each tear of sadness, embarrassment or grief is shared in a beautiful harmony of our hearts.

I’m not sure I believe in two bodies one soul thing,

but I do believe in two individualities on one journey thing.

With all the sacrifices and compromises that we shall have to face, may our love of eternal friendship always thrive.

Love is the purest form of magic, love is God.

We may not start our journey being in love, may be ‘like’ , or friends, but I hope we make it to love and never fall out of this one sweet trap or should I say God’s masterplan?

Yours in God’s time,

Lea.

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Dear Future Husband #2

Love,

We still have yet to meet. And here I am, writing yet another letter to you. 

It isn’t as weird as some may call me mental, but then , at the moment I feel this is right.

I believe God is still planning out our meet up and life ahead. And since he knows me, and he knows I crave the forever thing like my parents, I am learning to be as patient as I can.

Anyway, apart from that , I am here , to tell you about this magical fantasy I have since a kid, of the big day. Not to scare you away with the second letter. 

From years from now, I see this.. its a vision, and a lil happy visualization doesn’t hurt, does it ?

I’m wearing this princess gown, white as snow, such a contrast to my caramel skin, it’s just beautiful, it makes me feel beautiful, with the many skirts floating around, floating my spirit too. A veil sparkling like snowflakes and glitter and pearls in a galaxy. 

I see all smiling faces around, so many people who I love, and who love me, Dad walking down the aisle with me, my strong man, my first love, My King. As sad as it makes any bride, I try not lingering on those thoughts, simply because I will not let go of their hand (my parents) to hold yours, because I can hold both. I have enough room in my heart to love you both and all around.

It does seem unfair that a girl has to always rearrange her life, but if this is fate, then so be it, I will still be a daughter & a sister forever and your love in time.

Ok back to my walking down the aisle topic, so as we walk closer to you, I see you stand in awe, and I can feel my heart soaring, to see that this is it, this is where we embark on our adventure, this is where our journey with God together begins. 

And as the nerves hit me, I let my feet carry me forward, and as sweaty as my palms are, as you hold my hand , when dad leads me to you, I know you are just as nervous as me. But in that moment, knowing that I am not alone, that we are together, gives me alil ease. 

And my fantasy stops here, at the entrance of a  church where we shall some day say “I do .”

Like no matter how I try to imagine forward, dream it , force to visualize, I can’t, somehow my brain stops right there and screams “abort mission”… lol. 

Ok .. may be God wants to surprise us. So I stopped trying to imagine further. And let time and God’s plan lead us to this unexpected moments of togetherness , joy and love. 

I know in my heart, that when I’ll know we belong ( I have no idea how I’ll know it, again I’ll hope God clarifies it to us in time) , I will not hold back on loving you with my all  ,even if that means, I let you hold the axe to crush my heart , I will believe and trust you won’t.

I think I am warming up to the idea of you, even when we haven’t met.

or have we ? 

You know as peaceful as it makes me praying for you and also for a wonderful Sis in law for me (for my big brother), it gives me hope, and patience to trust in God’s perfect timing, and knowing that even if I pray alone today, someday we shall pray together forever.

I am not really a patient person, but I try when I have no choice, reaping better fruits then unripe ones is always worth the wait. 

Also I refrain from kissing frogs , to reach my frog Prince, hoping you didn’t really end up as a frog , for me to change you to my Prince charming.

I do want a fairytale, but a realistic one, where love is the cure to our every lows and our victory to every highs.

I will write more often to you .

and hey, If you happen to come with a sign of “stranger danger” , please don’t expect me to be as sweet as my letter here.

Your’s in God’s time,

Lea.

Dear Future Husband #1

Love,

I know it’s weird me calling you that when I still question fate if you exist.

I’m still hoping for you to turn up or us to cross each other’s path.

Have all those romantic dates my head weaved and plans along with my heart.

Anyways, figuring with how life is at the moment, I’m still finding myself, and somehow I think its not time for us to yet meet and create our history. So I’m being patient.

But here’s something I’d like to share, if at all I forget to do so in the future when I might be tongue tied.

Today Dad came to me, with a bowl, on which was inscribed something sweet from a wellwisher .

It was like this ” Wishing you Mr. & Mrs Rodrigues a very happy and prosperous married life. dated 30.may.1987 ”

I could see the surprise on my dad’s face to hold that bowl and smile.

I think i quite know what went in his mind.

‘It is amazing that the bowl survived all these years, and it still is as good as new, not just that bowl, knowing my mom she will have tons of things preserved and taken care of. ‘

My point here is, it’s not just the things, it is them, their love, their marriage, that has survived 7+30=37 years. It’s brilliant and I know that it will survive their eternity.

I want this. If I do get married then, it will only be for this,

 a love that can survive all the ups and downs in life, a love that becomes the very home we live in, a love that is consuming, passionate and deeply understanding, a love that is not blinded by trust but founded on strong faith , a love like this.

When we do meet, can we try to have this.

My dad’s patience and my mom’s selfless nature along with their love together survived all 37 yrs could bring to them. 

What will ours be like ? will it make our kids want to have the same, like I yearn for what my parents have, nothing less.

Your’s in God’s time,

Lea.