Tag Archives: Life

Dear Ocean

I know how it feels to rush across the shore,
to break into waves,

to splash and splatter,

and swallow the ground,

to be drowned in chaos,

and musical sounds,

to feel uneasy in the scorching sun,

and yet to gush through the blackened nights,

to crash across rocks a million times,

and still never stop.
There is beauty in your depths.
Much love,

Lea.

(This painting is made by me.)

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Sometimes.

And sometimes life will take you to paths forbidden, paths you never wished to walk,

paths unknown, paths with steep slopes and dangerous rocks,

Sometimes you will assume that you are doomed, and God has been unfair, 

Sometimes you fail to see that the path you took wasn’t what you wanted, but needed to be who you are.

Each different direction life takes us and we act rigid to accept, adapt and change, 

Each time the wrong which feels too very wrong, 

has something right about it hidden in its depths,

something about finding yourself,

something about learning to love one self,

something about learning who you are,

how much you can take,

and how brave you can be,

These directions take us through the furnace and through the meadows,

sometimes we get so used to the furnace, the grill, the burns, that accepting the meadows feels alien.

and sometimes the meadows feel like home and the furnace like a never ending prison.

Everyone at some point, has this fluctuation.

You go through all that you go through to rise through it and become something even more wiser than before. 

The refusal to change and act rigid is the process of denial. Snap out of it. You can’t escape the paths. 

Some of us are so cautious, that we plan every day of our lives. Mind you the inevitables and paths that you need to take work through a divine plan and will find a way over and above your plans. 

Call it fate, destiny, karma or God… For me it’s God.

Life is preplanned by God, but is an unknown present to us. The present where we breathe is NOW, unwrapping the gift, parts we love, parts we like, parts we hate, parts we deny. But all of it hidden, known and unknown; liked , loved or hated, or denied, is life. 

Accept what it is, for this will help you accept you. Rigidity to accept life tantrums will slower your process of being you. 
Have a good day.

Her love.

Her love was an ocean,

serene, gushing, trembling, rushing, 

Her love was incapable 

of sensing wrong from right,

Her love was uncanny

unconditional, her heart open to uncompensable smites,

Her love was laughter in those drastic storms,

Her love was lusting for understanding deep and warm,

Her love was compassion, endless chances 

to righten wrong ,

Her love was the very poison,

that squelched her  & cornered her into abjection.

And yet, when all failed her,

and she ameliorated from the overwhelming clamor,

Her love sustained & renewed her soul’s armour.

Her love which sought to go directions , all went,

now is seeking ways to make amends,

coming back to what was once empty,

Rustling inside her , like a spring of hustling confetti.

Carpet of wrong turns.

Hidden carpet of wrong turns ,

take me to the skies,

lead me on , beyond the ways

I couldn’t pass by.

Hear me out, oh Wrong turns!

don’t make my life a lie,

I chose you over 

all that life offered without any spite.

You were so tempting and conniving

Oh Wrong turns!

I was Eve , you – the Serpent,

You bit me, you hissed,

even my tears I risked,

I lost a lot, Oh wrong turns !

Your carpet holds the dead remains,

you snatched away, you gnawed at me,

you left me brutally mundane,

I repent though, Oh carpet of wrong turns!

I repent not thinking wise,

but the lessons you gave,

you made me so brave,

I’m starting to believe, I can rise.

Flying through you , oh carpet of wrong turns !

I’m learning to live my life,

And so now when I choose the right,

I remember how you taught me

from wrongs how to reach out into the light,

So hidden carpet of wrong turns,

within me you reside,

take me over and above my fears,

help me build my might in this fight.

——————-

Choices that we think are wrong. Or have wronged us, in some way or the other, aren’t actually wrong .

There is something right in them. Look harder and someday you shall see what I meant.

I have learnt far more better certain amazing things about life deeply through my wrong turns. No , there wasn’t just once I was wrong, I’ve been wrong a great many times, but I’ve learnt something always and made sure to be wise.

But sometimes it’s not about being wise or practical or living how you are expected to, sometimes it’s about intuition, it’s about feeling something right in the moment, these situations may be right for that moment and wrong in all other, but that doesn’t mean , it’s wrong entirely. For the moment it was created, that choice you made was meant to be, whether wrong or right, everything is fated, it is bound to happen, one way or the other, whatever we choose to live with or depart from, essentially is a part of a much bigger beautiful plan by our God.

So dear there, don’t feel disheartened about being wrong, or choosing wrong , stop feeling disappointed, repent though, work hard to forgive yourself and seek forgiveness where needed, work harder to understand the depths of the lessons hidden in this carpet of wrong turns.

As humans it is pretty normal for us to fall prey to it, don’t be too hard on yourself though, 

learn to let go of this carpet when it’s time, 

learn to heal, 

learn to feel that things happen and life stops for no one. 

Move dear, move forward, 

move into the light that awaits , 

whether right or wrong, you will find a way. 

Stay hopeful. Stay blest.

Much love. 

#14 Her_thoughts

For years,

all she learnt was what people hate

about her,

and their hate,

became what she hated too.

What they said,

became what she believed.

Until it became so unbearable,

that she let go of the hate,

that crushed her whole.

And now all the parts that the world

disapproves about her,

are the very edges she is learning to love,

and all those edges the world envied she had,

are becoming her solace for fresh beautiful starts.

So now when all is hushed,

and all is calm,

even the chaos seems to drift apart.

She is learning to shut it all out,

you, your actions , your words, dear world even your mocking laughs,

I’ve learnt you are brutal ,

but I’ve also learnt you can be warm and kind and motivating and beautiful,

So I will choose to ponder on the good vibes you gush my way,

than the harsh ones that always cause dismay.

(This pic is clicked by me .)

#leeevibes

#grateful

#happy

#saturdayblues

#goodvibes

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#13 Her_thoughts 

Because even in its raw form,

I fell in love,

I twisted the brushes,

and cut through it rough,

layered it with paints,

so all pierced cuts were sealed.

And slowly just as the struggle kicked off,

everything that hurt began to heal.

And so in the chaos,

I found beauty,

beauty that lies deep within,

And in my serenity,

I chose to sing,

even when the lights were bleary dim.
#leeevibes

(this is painted by me…. actually it is the making of one of my masterpieces..  this one is incomplete and raw.)

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Dear Future Husband #9

Hi love,

How are you ? I hope life is treating you well.

Guess what’s on my mind right now ?

Fights… hahaah! Hear me out.. before you assume the worst.

When my lovebirds fight, (mom & dad) , either I am the referee or Row. 

And their fights are mostly illogical to me, it’s like either one is trying to make the other’s life easy, and there’s a tantrum in the air, because of this. They sometimes fail to see the love that is hidden behind every action they do for each other. 

And me being Dad’s pet doesn’t help, because  NO ONE, and I mean no one likes being on the side against mom, because it’s a lost cause. 

Not even dad, dares. 

Hey! no laughing. It’s super cute how they get possessive over each other, they notice minutest things about each other without even making it obvious, forget that, they won’t even know they are observing each other.

When I see them. I want to see us, through the eyes of our kids. Because this, this what they have is what I want for us, love .

Love, that is blinded in our deepest understandings, love that underlines all our words and actions, no matter how harsh or sweet, whether spoken in anger or in love.

Love where everyday is living for each other, unknowingly. 

Love where selflessness is not forced but it comes naturally.

Love where home is with each other and in each other.

If there be a day when we do have a lover’s quarrel or a big dramatic fight, quite serious perhaps, I want you to know, that I once had an anger with horrid after guilt for my words and actions, over the years I’ve learned the damage it did to my loved ones and me, and I try to remain in silence when I’m most angry.

So often I break down in tears in my solitude, when It’s too suffocating to keep in. 

I am telling you this, so if at all there be a day, where I am in this state, let me be quieter for an hour , but not anymore, because then I know it’s not my anger that I’ll be fighting but the fear of losing you.

Betrayal or the feeling of being forsaken, is the worst punishment a person who’s in love may receive. 

And when I have you, I do not ever wish to feel this.

May we never lie to each other, may there never be a reason to hide, may there be enough acceptance with each other to endure every brutal detail of our lives. 

May we be wise enough to choose each other despite any turmoil. 

May if we fight during the day, we may not take it with us through the night.

May with you I learn to let go of fears that deep within I hide.

Take care Love.

Waiting for you.

Your’s in God’s time ,

Your future Bride.

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