Category Archives: self letters

Praise Him in the storm.

Even when you feel He isn’t worthy, because sweet lil one, in your bitterness you can’t un-see how worthy he has indeed made you to have received all the blessings he’s already given you.

My Dearest you who are hurting, breaking & dying,

I know this might not really reach you. But with all my heart I pray God’s will for you, he’s mercy in your suffering, he’s comfort in your pain, he’s love in your darkness, he’s presence when you feel broken.

May He overpower all that you feel, all that you go through, all that you stand in agony of.

May He help you understand that life cannot be measured by the years you have lived or by the time you’ve been given to be prepared for the worst.

We all are mortals, death being the beautiful rebirth into meeting are higher selves (our souls – something un-perishable- a part of Him ) .

In your fear, Call out to him, welcome Him, Talk to Him. Because He not only listens, he’s present beside you, within you and he has he’s angels around you.

You are beautifully & wonderfully made. You are chosen. You belong to HIM. You are precious to HIM. He is worthy of our love even when we feel he’s not befriending us, He is always worthy of all Praises.
Hosannah in the highest.

I pray for you to have healing & peace & joy that penetrates through your pain and leaves you wanting Him more. Thirst only for Him, he redeems us.

Measure your life by the faith you have in him, by the blinded trust of having his hand at work in your life. Measure it by the blessings he’s endowed you with. Measure it with all the suffering & pain he’s let you endure, measure it with the strength he’s blessed you with. Measure it with praise in your heart even in the storms of your life.

Bless you.

Love,
Lea.

There’s no stranger danger.

You don’t have to befriend every human in existence.
If you don’t vibe, YOU DONT VIBE.
DON’T FORCE YOURSELF.

Sometimes being strangers or mere acquaintances is good for the both of you. This way life is more civil, less toxic, more of blessings, less of hate, negligible drama.

It is only when you feel forced to vibe with people who too feel the same, you’ll know there is this strange barrier in your head of non acceptance, Somehow your brain will try looking for flaws & specs in the other to strengthen the thought of hate or dislike into something more dangerous.
Stop. You are trespassing the negative territory. Parents should understand this, when a child is uncomfortable with your friends kids , do not force them to befriend each other, they will grow up having this animosity inside them , learning the art of pretence for your sake.

Sometime back, no matter how good a friends we are now, I faced a confession, that stuck in my mind. She said she hated me back then as I was the unwanted intruder. I got the vibes back then but what I didn’t know it was that she actually felt the whole why are you forcing to befriend her thing until now. I understand how your brain is made to adapt and adjust and how the negativity simply becomes an acceptable habbit of indifference. Now, we are simply acquaintances. And I like that. There’s nothing toxic. We respect each other, we talk and smile without a trace of ‘we haven’t spoken in ages’, it’s normal & good.
When things can be so normal, why pretend to feel indifferent when you actually force yourself to accept & gel along.
The problem with me is, I’m at this phase where I’m so calm, collected and thinking all those childhood stages, phases and understanding what was right, and what was wrong & why it was wrong.
So when time comes for me to mother my kittens, I know not to bound them to unhealthy norms of a perfectly acceptable lifestyle.

Commit to your peace.

It was only through the worst , I found me at my very best.
And for that I am truly grateful.

No, you don’t need an armour to win your battles, if you don’t have peace within, you are a lost cause.
First win the battle within, commit to your peace, learn to keep it there, alive and vibrant, being calm , helps you realise, half the storm was the noise in your head of the many “what ifs, why, why not, should I? , Maybe, if,…when, how, where, what…”

Half the storms are the zillion questions questioning your beliefs, your worth, your existence, your confidence, your journey, you. Half the questions are so repetitive, asked in different variations, making you believe there’s more to your iceberg than you see it.

Darling, most often , your storm is on the surface, the waves of the ocean, but you find yourself battling in it’s depths. Why? Because you are terrified, anxious, panicked.

You need to stop. Unplug. Detox. Think. Jot down if you must. Analyse your situation and breathe in the calming breaths of life. To win a battle you need to have a plan. A plan that you must sit back and put together and only then march into your battlefield. You can overcome anything, if you will yourself to do it.

How are you?

So no one asked nobody, for nobody wanted to undergo the wrath of somebody and feel like a fool.
So many died without a real soul talk,
and many just lived to die through this monotonous walk.

If you live life with no one your soul connects with, what are you living for?
Material world is a thief of joy and peace. It has nothing lasting.
And if you can’t look a person in the eye and read them, how can you expect anyone to read you, understand you, vibe with you?
If you want to keep the people who actually ask you about your mental well being, stop holding onto ego, pride and the superiority complex.
All souls are equals, connect on that equal level, leaving the realms and prejudices of the material world behind.
Back in old days, asking everyone we meet “how are you doing?’ came as a habit.
No one asks you that anymore with a reason to actually know how you’re holding up, except to nod off to the ‘I’m fine, wabt you ?’ banter.
This is so robotic. 🙄

Every person is fighting a mental battle. We are all learning professionals of showing off “Nothing can hit me, I’m Rock-(wo)-man .”

How like us ! 😑

Anyway, I did want to check on you, I really do hope you are doing fine.
While, if you have no hope, suffice in the thought that I Hope for you. 😊
Stay blest.

I welcome you…

I welcome you ;
the good , the bad,
the nasty , the sad,
the disappointing, the revealing,
the expected, the unknown,
the peaceful, the envious,
the misfortunes, the glorious,
the lessons, the blessings,
the falls, the climbs,
the moments, the memories,
the gut wrenching pain, the freedom from letting go,
the venom hissed, the healing words,
the spite, the hugs,
the hurt, the love,
the cold, the warmth,
the luxury, the necessities,
the old me, the new me,
the family, the friends,
the betrayals, the loyalty,
the kindness, the arrogance,
the small things, the finer details,
the vivid colours, the rough edges,
the death in life and the life in death.
I welcome you all.
Thank you for making my life dazzle me on.
Grateful. Extremely truly grateful..

-Leandra Rodrigues.

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I’m not practical.

Confession time.
I envy my best friend ( in a good way) for her practical approach to life.

I can’t be practical , no matter how much I try.

And now I know why.
I’ve always battled with this, now I feel at home.
I am an artist, a creative soul.
I think deep, I imagine wild , I feel every emotion right from the very core of my soul.
Every thing I love to do, for me is to work with my all, passionately , deeply & intoxicatingly being aware I’m drowning into it in the moment.
When I’m writing, I’m lost. When I’m painting, I’m lost, in this place that’s mesmerizing, there’s just me, and calm and peace, serenity, compassion.
I’m sensitive to the heart, I’m impulsive.
I get bored easily , so I’m fidgity, my mind boggles almost everything around, observing, wondering, wandering, seeing shapes in the clouds or art in rustic walls, words in the gushing waters.
I can sit with you, and talk not one word, if I’m comfortable around you. And that silence I can enjoy. I don’t talk much when I’m thinking or putting a masterpiece together in my mind.
I had been a people’s pleasing person all my life , because I couldn’t say “no”. Now, I can. I am a people inspiring person now. I love making one person smile everyday, may it be my words, may it be my prayers, may it be my very impulsive crazy madness.
I’m bubbly & cheerful & childlike when I’m in a good mood, but when I’m not, I’m quiet & spaced out. Yes, I over think, a day dreamer, a night thinker, sometimes I plan, sometimes I go with my gut. And my instincts are always always always damn fckng right.

Being practical is going with that smart way of doing things in life, it involves lesser risk. But me? I love risks , I get drawn to complicated hazards for no reason. I take paths I choose, not practical, not always smart, but somehow soulful..
. – Leandra. .
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(I wrote this to remind me on the days I wish I be more practical, why I can’t be what I’m not and why I should be happy for what I am. Creative souls are never practical, they are messy & crazy & feel everything in it’s greatest details. )

Self love isn’t selfish.

Hi there sweet sunshine,
If you find yourself feeling guilty for indulging in self love and self time, please don’t. It’s not selfish.

Also note self love isn’t self obsession.

It isn’t selfish to love the self you are, cherish what you are, feel at home with who you are.

It isn’t selfish to respect your essence even if others fail to do so.

If you have love within you will have love to give around. The world needs compassion and kindness.
Almost everyone is fighting a mental battle, some wont even be aware.

The times now have exceeded the levels of pressures of expectations and horizons of dreams and wants and goals.

Sometimes you need to simply pause and refuel yourself, be kind to yourself.

Life is such a waste if you hate yourself until your last.
Why don’t you begin with loving the smaller bits you appreciate about yourself and slowly learn to love yourself in totality?

Selfish is not s/he who loves and loves evermore, thy-self , thy-life and thy world.

Stay calm. Stay blest.
Gudnight folks .