Tag Archives: Self help

Attraction Distraction Obsession Destruction.

It all starts with a few stares shared. Or that head rush where you feel like you’re high and you can’t stop taking your eyes off the specimen of your interest.

From a stupid crush to the strong pulls of attraction, which often turns into fascination, and upon alil fueled flirty conversations you are likely to become obsessed to either impress or charm or seek the attention of the much wanted distraction , so you can have a twist in your stagnant boring life.

As much as crushing is a good feeling, and it is nothing evil or such, it’s just human of us to feel the pulls of the universe around, whether from a person in our vicinity or any other such object ;

but being obsessed is just another thing. Obssession comes only when you feed your crush feeling with even more strong pulls and pushes of attraction. And very often if you are not cautious , such obssession slowly takes control of the way you think, and feel, it kinda posseses you, and all you crave is that good mushy feeling all the time, the attention, the tingly beats of your heart, the head rush, the smiles that you dont keep a check on while reading a message or talking or simply checking out the object you are slowly getting obsessed with.

Mind you, unhealthy obsessions act as a trigger of self destruction . You may not realize it, but you are uneasy and unsettled and over thinking in the absence of your crush. And that often steals your peace and makes you agitated.

Remember, not all crsuhes come with a tag of love, some are just for us to live at the moment and forget. Not all attractions should be fed for you to get obsessed. And not all obsessions should you let possess you, and destroy the lil peace you have.

Unknowingly as humans we fall trap to the push and pulls of the universe, and so be conscious and know what should be fed and what should be starved. When you become too agitated in the absence of something, it is best to maintain a distance, find a good distraction and keep your mind busy, slowly the agitation will fade into nothingness given proper time.

It is the same like addiction. You are so obsessed over a thing, your brain controls your feelings and makes you believe that that particular feeling is something you need, you just need it , and you can’t do otherwise. But that’s not true. Everyone can adapt to changes and getting over an unhealthy crush or obssesion or lost love, may act as a challenge for a moment, but it isn’t something that you need, you can get over it, given time and how you starve your brain and feelings of longing or false need.

Trust me. All your brain does in this starvation phase is  make you irritated and tempts you to give in, go ahead and indulge in your crush even when you dont really get the feelings or treatment you deserve in return. It makes you want to believe that it is completely ok. That may be what you thought you deserve is overstated, and you should settle for less.


You first treat yourself with respect, know that you deserve what you offer in total equality. Nothing less. More is an added bonus.

What attention and feelings you invest, if reciprocated in the same force you have pushed so the other pulls, then it’s quite likely that such an investment may develop into a good relationship.

But if the crises forthcoming is seen before hand, you see the symptoms of an unhealthy relationship, then stop. Get back to yourself and catch yourself before you fall into the pit you digged.

Desolation is not a nice place to live in. Being irritated and sad and having thoughts of “what’s wrong with me? Am I not good enough?” are self destroying.

You are good enough. You are enough . Accept yourself first and let no one ever make you doubt that Your totality lacks anything. You are complete and unique , not a half , not unloved. You are your own person. And your love for yourself should be on par with your respect for yourself.

Questioning what you lack is mocking your self esteem and saying you love and respect yourself but not really feeling it genuinely.
Crush blush hush.

Don’t overpull, when pushed.

No one makes you sad, if you dont let them.

Let it not stranggle your peace.

It’s not worth thinking about if it makes you self doubt.

You are worth much more then being let down.

You are enough , even when they fail to see.

You are your own, change at your will , not at the will of others.

Take it easy. Take it slow. Go with the flow.

Take care. I hope this acts as an eye opener.

Have a great day.


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Painting is therapy #1

Something about textures,

Something about paints,

Something about creating something totally insane,

Something that the soul lusts for,

Something so soothing.

Something that let’s you embark on a thrilling journey, full of wonder.

It just feels good to forget 

And let my palette be my undoing.

(Yea…. That’s by me … )

#artistdiaries #writerdiaries #writerden #artistden #paintwrite #create #creativemodeon #creativity_is_soul_lust

Sun kissed

​And when the Sun kissed her in the shadows,

All the darkness faded into a smile,

It was like butterflies dancing in her moonlight.

And when the Sun kissed her ruffled hair, 

She seemed to not care 

of the depth she was drowning in,

because as the light hit her in her nothingness,

she felt the promise of peace and serene.

_ L E A N D R A _
#writerden #writerdiaries #writersofinstagram #blogging #bloggerlife #writenodiet #wordporn #herchaoticthoughts

#7 Finding Me

Shoutout: Teach them to Love oneself.

​Have you seen kids nowadays ? So conscious of how they look, what they wear ?

Not just kids. It is everybody and anybody.

The world is raving about losing weight to stay fit, or getting fairness creams to change the colour of your skin. I mean, ofcourse there’s a miraculous formula to fight the Melanin in your skin. Like seriously. 

Apply this oil to lose cellulite, 

follow that diet to lose weight, 

take this supplement for an alert brain,

Have this tea to relax,

And bla bla bla bla blaaaaaaa.

Maybe some of the things do work out for some people. But not for all.

The main point here is :

Why isn’t there any initiative taken to help people to learn to love themselves first ? To help them accept themselves? To help them learn to love their edges ? Fat or thin or fair or dark or normal or psychic or smart or beautiful or lacking what the world has on its endless racist and discriminative list of perfection?

Why is it so difficult to accept our kids the way they are ? Have you ever paused and thought about what they might be going through ?

I have known some who hate themselves so much that they have resorted to self harming.

Depression is an everyday unreadable disease. It hits all at some point of time. Some brave can face it alone , some need therapy, what about those endless who have no freaking idea what depression is , how to deal with it, how to control anxiety attacks ? How to control pessimism ? How to practice optimism ? 

We have this idea that there wasn’t any need for awareness of such earlier and so it isn’t necessary now. But times have changed. Nuclear families, more of introverts, pressures work-personal- studies, phone addictions, personal interactions are less, comparisons , the picture of ideal role models dumped on you, etc.

People have different emotional quotient in them. Some deal with the extremes and some almost have none. This is serious. There are suicides rising on a large scale, most of them youngsters.

The psychological effect of things we say  , do or talk about is unseen . No one knows what affects the person next to you drastically or what lingers on their mind. Humans are either sensitive or pretentious. 

As adults, we know what to do with our lives, and how to not over-react to changing situations and control and manage through the gambles of life. 

But what about kids ? At such an early age , instead of enjoying the simplicities of life, they are always on their toes to win everyone’s  expectations for them, look presentable, get good grades, have the latest stuff (gadgets) , addictions to social media, attention seeking, etc.

They are basically seeking love, attention and they want someone to tell them that they are good enough. We dont see that. 

It is really high time we give this a thought. 

And try to help them LOVE THEMSELVES FIRST. 

They need to learn to love themselves. BECAUSE they are losing themselves under the pressure of cruel expectations.

Self hatred , the feeling of not good enough, starts at home, school, college or workplace.

No kid deserves to be compared.

No kid has to go through the bully of being tagged by some cruel name or word.
How can you call someone in a degrading name ?

Does it make you feel superior world ?

Tell you what, you are cruel.
It’s the need of the hour to help youngsters accept themselves and be okay with what they are.


I’ve despised
every inch of my skin and the layers beneath,
I’ve despised me more, than the words you hit me with,
because before you, me I have betrayed, longing for hollow bliss,
I’ve despised the child I was, the person I was growing to be,
I’ve despised my edges, those glaring curves, everyone’s mocking sympathy,
I’ve cried and succumbed to these hissing insecurities,
All my life I’ve despised the only one who could have accepted me for me, that’s me.
I blame you not, but how can me I blame either ?

I’ve despised you but me I’ve slaughtered like no other .

I’ve been conscious of what you’ll say even before you voice it,

for you’ve never cared about how I’d feel, you preferred  venom to spit.


​There was a time when I would run away from photographers and my pics…
Why ?

Because then I believed  I was too damn ugly to even look at.

Even the world made me believe that.

All I could see was a girl with caramel skin, she wasn’t fair , she wasn’t stick thin. She was way too flawed to look at. Even the mirror would be her enemy. Wonder why Snow White was the benchmark for the colour of skin to be called the most beautiful ?

But now things have changed. So have I.
I dont believe in being ugly.

I believe in changing into the person I can confidently say is myself.

Now it’s not the world that can define me.

Because now I am not ashamed of who I am.
I am the definition I wanted to be.
It was not the standards of beauty the world sets that I had to fight.

It was my battle within, that I had to conquer.

They say ” you are what you want to be. The product of your thoughts.”

And I believe it is very much right.

When I am me , the me I believe in, the me that is confident, that is not ashamed, that has accepted the self I am,

that is the me the world will see and accept. Because this time, there’s no question for doubt or choice I give the world to choose from.
Simple enough. Isn’t it ?





Accept me as I am. Or watch me as I go.


In the end your first choice should always be :

  • Self acceptance
  • Self respect
  • Self love.

The thing about nagging people…

(Dedicated to a friend, who needs to remember and believe in one’s own awsomeness. We meet trying people in all stages and walks of life and some be like ………. read on.. )


Have you come across such people who actually sway a hell lot. Like insult you and then cover it up with a chocolate syrup dressing saying , 

“Honey, dont be offended. You are not to take it seriously.”

I mean, seriously, how do you expect an insult to be taken sportingly as a joke when it was intended so perfectly to be an insult. That too, before a crowd of patronising fake people ?

It is bewildering to understand the outrageous behaviors of certain people sometimes. Especially when the insults are directed to such a person who needs to be appreciated and motivated. But naah! Some people just prefer the green monster instead.

I pay no attention to them. That’s what I say very often. But then , its difficult to go through trying situations and be disappointed and disheartened time and again.

Some people are just too full of sarcasm and criticism. There’s no point bickering with people who always speak to compete.

Life is more than pushing people down and proving that you are  superior, when in reality your efforts are hardly up to the mark.

Is it the jealousy? Is it ego ? Is it pride ? 

What exactly is it that triggers such behavior? 

I believe it’s a reflex action to something that bothers you deep.

If you are good, your actions shall speak for yourself and you will feel content but some  people will say and do things to make you lose your self confidence. That is their intention, isn’t  it ? To create self doubts and an inferiority complex and insecurities and that feeling of ‘not good enough’.

No matter how much we invest in certain people, it will never ever be good enough to make them appreciate you. 

Because sweetheart, there are such people out there who are insecure and intimidated by you or your goodness. Because you will find that they will always have a way to strangle your happy vibes. They will always have something to nag you about. They will monitor you so closely, so as to find your weaknesses and mistakes, and they will use it againts you each time you soar.

Believe me, I have certain friends. I never said close ones. Mind you. The first thing they say to me after we meet or speak after ages will never be something that will give me a smile. Instead I’d be left frowning and wondering why did I even bother to be polite or why did I even be friends with them .  They just tend to kill your vibe , pointing the many wrong things about you or your life.

Do you read what I read here ? Are you seeing what I’m trying to tell you ? They are making you focus on the “NEGATIVE “. They are manipulating your good energy and diverting it altogether into an opposite direction -direction of pessimistic notions. You are left drowning into the endless torture of self doubts. 

Do not believe everything they say. Do not focus on the unwanted. If you know yourself in and out, it will not bother you that much. Maybe what hurt would be that these things usually are from a  person you least expect . But then , thats what people do , they axe you in the back or face , if you become a threat to them. 

Why not in such times , remember that , they throw the blows in the wind , hoping you get punched in the guts, and you react just how they expect, on reflex. So instead stop taking what ain’t for you and let their blows hang in the wind. Let it have on you no impact. 

Believe in your self.

Accept the good. Ignore the bad. 

I know it is indeed very very  weird how some people get away with speaking ill about us and just because we are brought up in a good way, we can’t actually droop that low to  put them in their respective places. It’s our upbringing perhaps. Even then , that’s not something to blame but be proud of. 

Kindness is rare. And what’s even rare now a days is an appreciative tongue. 

Everywhere you see or hear is sarcasm, insulting innuendos and what not. And to find a kindred spirit is indeed a tortuous hunt amidst all this.

I’m no saint. We all somehow sometimes fall prey to our insecurities and act unwisely. But when realisation dawns, its best to be appreciative and make ammends.

Does it feel good by hurting others ?

Does it feel good pointing out the insecurities and rubbing it in their faces ?

Is it too much of an effort to be appreciative?

Does it cost a fortune to ignore the bad and appreciate the good in people ?

If you can’t boost other’s spirit, then dont crush it either . You have absolutely no right to be a bully. You have to atleast have some acceptable humanitarian quotient in you, to  not cross the line of untolerance. 

Is it difficult to shred away the layers of ego, pride , jealousy and see within our souls ?

God created human skins in varied colour tones , but the souls – they have the same colour. “

So as much as we all are invariably and extremely different from each other, we still have a soul. A spirit. 

Some people prefer being quiet when provoked, but believe me , you do not want these goodies to snap. It’s not gonna be much pretty then. 

If when you offer bitter , you still get the good offered. It’s a warning to change your flute and be good. Because if you push around the bitterness in you, then there will bound to be a time where only bitterness will await you.

We may become heartless and prove people that we lack feelings. But in the end it sums up to this :

“You give respect, you get respect. “