Category Archives: Self help

Total surrender.

If you recall some of Jesus’s last words on the cross,
1. “My God, my God , why have you forsaken me?”
Mathew 27:46 & Mark 15:34

2. Jesus said, β€œFather, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34

3.”Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.” Luke 23:46

4.”I am thirsty.” John 19:28

5.”It is finished.” John John 19:30

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Let’s reflect on the above scriptures.

1. Jesus knowing that the crucifixion was the last part of the journey in the plan of salvation, felt betrayed? Felt alone? Even when He is God (the Mystery of the Holy Trinity). Understand this, we will have our moments of weaknesses, even when we know God is with us, this journey is pre-planned. We will hit rock bottom sometimes, but it’s not the end, the pain could be excruciating & overwhelming. Don’t lose your faith.

2. He forgave everyone who betrayed him, who forsook him, who planned he’s execution. He forgave us even when we weren’t born, our sins against our Lord. He interceded for us in he’s last, such was/is his love for us.

3. The best lesson – total absolute surrender. The Lord of all surrendered to His Lordship- His Father, the Almighty.

4. Thirst for the life after – for the joining in celebration in Heaven, re-uniting with the Father.

5. Victory in the most tragic moment. He fulfilled the plan.

Stay close to the Lord. He makes all things beautiful.
You, life & your journey.

There’s no stranger danger.

You don’t have to befriend every human in existence.
If you don’t vibe, YOU DONT VIBE.
DON’T FORCE YOURSELF.

Sometimes being strangers or mere acquaintances is good for the both of you. This way life is more civil, less toxic, more of blessings, less of hate, negligible drama.

It is only when you feel forced to vibe with people who too feel the same, you’ll know there is this strange barrier in your head of non acceptance, Somehow your brain will try looking for flaws & specs in the other to strengthen the thought of hate or dislike into something more dangerous.
Stop. You are trespassing the negative territory. Parents should understand this, when a child is uncomfortable with your friends kids , do not force them to befriend each other, they will grow up having this animosity inside them , learning the art of pretence for your sake.

Sometime back, no matter how good a friends we are now, I faced a confession, that stuck in my mind. She said she hated me back then as I was the unwanted intruder. I got the vibes back then but what I didn’t know it was that she actually felt the whole why are you forcing to befriend her thing until now. I understand how your brain is made to adapt and adjust and how the negativity simply becomes an acceptable habbit of indifference. Now, we are simply acquaintances. And I like that. There’s nothing toxic. We respect each other, we talk and smile without a trace of ‘we haven’t spoken in ages’, it’s normal & good.
When things can be so normal, why pretend to feel indifferent when you actually force yourself to accept & gel along.
The problem with me is, I’m at this phase where I’m so calm, collected and thinking all those childhood stages, phases and understanding what was right, and what was wrong & why it was wrong.
So when time comes for me to mother my kittens, I know not to bound them to unhealthy norms of a perfectly acceptable lifestyle.

From the ruins, I found new life.

I’m not a writer by chance but by the events of my life & by choice to creatively use the energies smothering me.

Yes, I was headfast & too driven to simply achieve greatness, and I still want that. But I needed to stop & understand that I was after futile things.

What good is your education after you die?
What good are the grades ? What good do they do if they suffocate you in your worklife? What good does it do to focus so much on a temporary life? To live like immortals despite losing lives around us?
What good does it do to party every day & live like it’s your last? You are focusing on your last so much, aren’t you attracting death?
But isn’t life to end in death alone?
If I lose my soul & gain the world, what have I even gained? Nothing lasting, everything immaterial, perishable.

I’m not saying I’m not proud of the goal-achiever I was/am. I’m saying my mind as a child was too focused on material things. Now, my hunger is everything that holds energy, that lasts.
I focus on God, love, kindness, grace, gratitude, visions, energy, the vibes. Because this is real. Energy lives on whether I live or not. Transforming it into art or words or simply gestures and acts of simplifying the complicated life.

I crave a connection that is deeper, sensible & awakening, I won’t settle but something that’s only the surface. You won’t understand a thing of what I said, only because you have no idea of what revolution does energy do to your existence. I’m still learning how to transform the negativity into positivity, that into possibilities & those into the life of gravity & attraction of everything beautiful, divine & lasting.

If you are a faithful person like me, you’ll be a God-lover & Know that there is no energy that is as supremely & divinely enchanting & infinite & mystical.
Do not fear what/who can be loved.
Stick to your virtues, there’s magic in these beautiful things. For hope, love , faith shall always remain.

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Thanks for liking my words.
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Commit to your peace.

It was only through the worst , I found me at my very best.
And for that I am truly grateful.

No, you don’t need an armour to win your battles, if you don’t have peace within, you are a lost cause.
First win the battle within, commit to your peace, learn to keep it there, alive and vibrant, being calm , helps you realise, half the storm was the noise in your head of the many “what ifs, why, why not, should I? , Maybe, if,…when, how, where, what…”

Half the storms are the zillion questions questioning your beliefs, your worth, your existence, your confidence, your journey, you. Half the questions are so repetitive, asked in different variations, making you believe there’s more to your iceberg than you see it.

Darling, most often , your storm is on the surface, the waves of the ocean, but you find yourself battling in it’s depths. Why? Because you are terrified, anxious, panicked.

You need to stop. Unplug. Detox. Think. Jot down if you must. Analyse your situation and breathe in the calming breaths of life. To win a battle you need to have a plan. A plan that you must sit back and put together and only then march into your battlefield. You can overcome anything, if you will yourself to do it.

How are you?

So no one asked nobody, for nobody wanted to undergo the wrath of somebody and feel like a fool.
So many died without a real soul talk,
and many just lived to die through this monotonous walk.

If you live life with no one your soul connects with, what are you living for?
Material world is a thief of joy and peace. It has nothing lasting.
And if you can’t look a person in the eye and read them, how can you expect anyone to read you, understand you, vibe with you?
If you want to keep the people who actually ask you about your mental well being, stop holding onto ego, pride and the superiority complex.
All souls are equals, connect on that equal level, leaving the realms and prejudices of the material world behind.
Back in old days, asking everyone we meet “how are you doing?’ came as a habit.
No one asks you that anymore with a reason to actually know how you’re holding up, except to nod off to the ‘I’m fine, wabt you ?’ banter.
This is so robotic. πŸ™„

Every person is fighting a mental battle. We are all learning professionals of showing off “Nothing can hit me, I’m Rock-(wo)-man .”

How like us ! πŸ˜‘

Anyway, I did want to check on you, I really do hope you are doing fine.
While, if you have no hope, suffice in the thought that I Hope for you. 😊
Stay blest.

I welcome you…

I welcome you ;
the good , the bad,
the nasty , the sad,
the disappointing, the revealing,
the expected, the unknown,
the peaceful, the envious,
the misfortunes, the glorious,
the lessons, the blessings,
the falls, the climbs,
the moments, the memories,
the gut wrenching pain, the freedom from letting go,
the venom hissed, the healing words,
the spite, the hugs,
the hurt, the love,
the cold, the warmth,
the luxury, the necessities,
the old me, the new me,
the family, the friends,
the betrayals, the loyalty,
the kindness, the arrogance,
the small things, the finer details,
the vivid colours, the rough edges,
the death in life and the life in death.
I welcome you all.
Thank you for making my life dazzle me on.
Grateful. Extremely truly grateful..

-Leandra Rodrigues.

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I’m not practical.

Confession time.
I envy my best friend ( in a good way) for her practical approach to life.

I can’t be practical , no matter how much I try.

And now I know why.
I’ve always battled with this, now I feel at home.
I am an artist, a creative soul.
I think deep, I imagine wild , I feel every emotion right from the very core of my soul.
Every thing I love to do, for me is to work with my all, passionately , deeply & intoxicatingly being aware I’m drowning into it in the moment.
When I’m writing, I’m lost. When I’m painting, I’m lost, in this place that’s mesmerizing, there’s just me, and calm and peace, serenity, compassion.
I’m sensitive to the heart, I’m impulsive.
I get bored easily , so I’m fidgity, my mind boggles almost everything around, observing, wondering, wandering, seeing shapes in the clouds or art in rustic walls, words in the gushing waters.
I can sit with you, and talk not one word, if I’m comfortable around you. And that silence I can enjoy. I don’t talk much when I’m thinking or putting a masterpiece together in my mind.
I had been a people’s pleasing person all my life , because I couldn’t say “no”. Now, I can. I am a people inspiring person now. I love making one person smile everyday, may it be my words, may it be my prayers, may it be my very impulsive crazy madness.
I’m bubbly & cheerful & childlike when I’m in a good mood, but when I’m not, I’m quiet & spaced out. Yes, I over think, a day dreamer, a night thinker, sometimes I plan, sometimes I go with my gut. And my instincts are always always always damn fckng right.

Being practical is going with that smart way of doing things in life, it involves lesser risk. But me? I love risks , I get drawn to complicated hazards for no reason. I take paths I choose, not practical, not always smart, but somehow soulful..
. – Leandra. .
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(I wrote this to remind me on the days I wish I be more practical, why I can’t be what I’m not and why I should be happy for what I am. Creative souls are never practical, they are messy & crazy & feel everything in it’s greatest details. )