Remember, you give away yourself when you only have the desire to indulge bashful deeds of prejudice.
For years, I wondered why I couldn’t fit in with some people, why I never felt a part, no matter what I did?
Why? Because one or two of them always had hurtful things to say, be it body shaming or something else, & never once did anyone stood up to them for me. Because all around they laughed, as I pretended it didn’t hurt all that much, but it did, more because those others found it funny.
Today I have all the clarity I need in life, when it comes to a tribe I can be with & includes none of you. .
If you read this, you will feel this, you will remember those moments where I felt betrayed for accepting toxic behaviour, betrayed because I expected alil more kindness, deceived even when I tried to help.
And then, I couldn’t help much ? .
You will remember that there were moments I went aloof.
And it’s this. I, unknowingly, began protecting what I could of what was not damaged of me yet.
So, I stood up for me & made peace with breaking free from you.
You don’t understand how much damage you do to a person with your words, because you can’t see the cracks & bruises you inflict.
Today, I have my peace and answers to the questions then. And let me tell you, I am finally alright with not having much friends, not trying to force me to fit in when I feel otherwise. I don’t need you, I never did. Not then, not now..
I have a select few, who even if I meet after ages are still so closely bonded, I have no doubt I’ll be seeing them greying with me in the future.
I have faced many demons. And I have conquered. And I’ve tried to understand, why people are like they are. And day by day I learn something new. That everyone is healing from something or the other in ways they are discovering fit for themselves.