We still have yet to meet. And here I am, writing yet another letter to you.
It isn’t as weird as some may call me mental, but then , at the moment I feel this is right.
I believe God is still planning out our meet up and life ahead. And since he knows me, and he knows I crave the forever thing like my parents, I am learning to be as patient as I can.
Anyway, apart from that , I am here , to tell you about this magical fantasy I have since a kid, of the big day. Not to scare you away with the second letter.
From years from now, I see this.. its a vision, and a lil happy visualization doesn’t hurt, does it ?
I’m wearing this princess gown, white as snow, such a contrast to my caramel skin, it’s just beautiful, it makes me feel beautiful, with the many skirts floating around, floating my spirit too. A veil sparkling like snowflakes and glitter and pearls in a galaxy.
I see all smiling faces around, so many people who I love, and who love me, Dad walking down the aisle with me, my strong man, my first love, My King. As sad as it makes any bride, I try not lingering on those thoughts, simply because I will not let go of their hand (my parents) to hold yours, because I can hold both. I have enough room in my heart to love you both and all around.
It does seem unfair that a girl has to always rearrange her life, but if this is fate, then so be it, I will still be a daughter & a sister forever and your love in time.
Ok back to my walking down the aisle topic, so as we walk closer to you, I see you stand in awe, and I can feel my heart soaring, to see that this is it, this is where we embark on our adventure, this is where our journey with God together begins.
And as the nerves hit me, I let my feet carry me forward, and as sweaty as my palms are, as you hold my hand , when dad leads me to you, I know you are just as nervous as me. But in that moment, knowing that I am not alone, that we are together, gives me alil ease.
And my fantasy stops here, at the entrance of a church where we shall some day say “I do .”
Like no matter how I try to imagine forward, dream it , force to visualize, I can’t, somehow my brain stops right there and screams “abort mission”… lol.
Ok .. may be God wants to surprise us. So I stopped trying to imagine further. And let time and God’s plan lead us to this unexpected moments of togetherness , joy and love.
I know in my heart, that when I’ll know we belong ( I have no idea how I’ll know it, again I’ll hope God clarifies it to us in time) , I will not hold back on loving you with my all ,even if that means, I let you hold the axe to crush my heart , I will believe and trust you won’t.
I think I am warming up to the idea of you, even when we haven’t met.
or have we ?
You know as peaceful as it makes me praying for you and also for a wonderful Sis in law for me (for my big brother), it gives me hope, and patience to trust in God’s perfect timing, and knowing that even if I pray alone today, someday we shall pray together forever.
I am not really a patient person, but I try when I have no choice, reaping better fruits then unripe ones is always worth the wait.
Also I refrain from kissing frogs , to reach my frog Prince, hoping you didn’t really end up as a frog , for me to change you to my Prince charming.
I do want a fairytale, but a realistic one, where love is the cure to our every lows and our victory to every highs.
I will write more often to you .
and hey, If you happen to come with a sign of “stranger danger” , please don’t expect me to be as sweet as my letter here.
Your’s in God’s time,