I give you the lil hope I have..

Dear friend,
This may not be much, since we cant expect God to help us ,when we dont help ourselves. But than I feel, like every failure is a blessing in disguise,and this phase may be alil more  disappointing now, but then I have this thought ,if it was my child  in place of me ,at this moment where I feel distraught, I wouldn’t give up on her, and so, God being my eternal Father, wont give up on me , and that’s enough to keep me going. I’ll be fine. Regardless of where I end up,  I can make my life good ,if I have God with me. Am not gonna let negativity make me feel any lesser,  Even though I failed myself in more ways than one, God wont.

I wont expect a miracle. But I’ll expect courage and peace from above. It’s a storm ahead. But after a few weeks it will be a nightmare of the past. And I hope this is a lesson enough to help me sail better..

I’m in a worse situation than you.. when I should be having a sound job, and helping my family. Being dependent at this age, and still struggling to get my life in order is something that makes me feel like an utter disappointment to many.

I believe am in this tunnel, on my way out.. even you are.. and lets remember at the end of every tunnel -there is light.

I’m not suicidal. Because  I’ve always been an anti-suicidal person,  even though I can’t stand people who do that to their parents and loved ones, But they have their reasons and I have mine. I knw how they feel. I get those disgusting thoughts too, but if I dint try my best to win,  I cannot lose.  It’s a lost cause now,  but not forever.

One bad chapter, and a horrifying storm is not the end. There’s more. There’s gotta be. Life has ample of opportunities. There’s lots of good to do and more better to be.

I have some more of nightmares ahead of me. I can already picture the monsters creeping on the way ahead. And if I dint try to fight them and move on, I will have to let go of a dream.
And that, is suicidal in a way.

No one loves giving up on a dream. And choosing other alternatives. But sometimes we have to do what will help us thrive better.

So let’s see what happens.
This may be a negative phase. But I know. I’ll survive. There’s hope.

This hereunder is my Bible blessing for the day:
Genesis 24:50
“Since this matter comes from the Lord, it is not for us to make a decision.”

My interpretation:
Sometimes we face situations where we cannot decide what to choose, because the path is already paved (chosen) for us and we just have to go with the flow.

You are on this path for a purpose, it is the great plan of the Almighty.

He has got you, stop getting worried. Remember at the end of the tunnel is where the light shines. Let not the darkness bother you.
Leave it all to God, your fears and anxiety, let Him decide for you. He knows what’s best for you.

You are not a disappointment but a blessing.
You are not a failure but His victorious child.
He will help you.
Do not doubt it. He is your shield.

Moreover you are a pawn in His Hand. In the hands of a winner , in the hands of Victory Himself, you are safe.  He will not toy you, but keep you safe and will grant you peace.

Open up to let him decide and bless you . Trust in Him.

Much love,

Leandra.

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