Tag Archives: acceptance

Do not tolerate body shaming.

I’m a pear shaped body with a soul that is garden to kindness and happy vibes. But very often I am also a victim of body shaming and (skin ) discrimination. Like people look at me and pity how I look, my body, or my skin, they feel annoyed and make me feel like I’m a disgrace sometimes. Just because I’ve got some undisguised layers of fat or muscle, which in their opinion isn’t the right way I should be. 

Here’s what I have to say to you : 

Someone told me today,

that my curves are what makes me who I am.

And not to pay heed to criticism I face on a day to day basis.
Even though she said the West craves for a body like mine, I somewhere hoped that perhaps if I was in the West , I’d not feel completely alien sometimes.
Body shaming is downright degrading people !
It took me longer to come to terms with what I am and accept myself at that. Self love is tough when your opinions get in the way. It’s a journey that never ends. And I’m on mine. I will not tolerate your blows to bruise my soul.
My worth can never be assessed based on  fake pathetic  beauty standards and catastrophic world benchmarks.
I’m fine being me. Imperfect as you say, flawless as I feel,

tinted on my edges and excited about my dreams.
If you have something kind and good , I’m all ears. 

But again, a non appreciative tongue always bites you back.
Don’t weigh your judgemental opinions over the sensitivity of others. Be human enough to let them live in their own space. 

If you have a problem, change your direction. 

Do not be a “knowitall” giving unwanted advices and harsh criticism when not needed.
If you know me in person, you’ll know for a fact I have a few friends that I feel my vibration with. The lesser, the better. 

I’ll be kind and good to you, so long it is reverted back with the same equilibrium.
If not, my silence is your guest.
So dear everybody being the victims of body shaming, love yourself so highly that the petty sly opinions of people , who probably eat bitter-gourds and venomous snakes the whole day, never mess with your positive vibes. 

Slay your way your day ,belle !
Ciao Adios , I’m done .😉 #leeevibes
#rantmodeon #inamomentthing

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I am enough.

When I was a kid, I was hopelessly stick thin, black and looked like an unwanted ugly monkey.

Well I’m sorry I’m harsh,  but that’s what I believe I felt or was made to feel.

No matter how many tonics or foods or skirts of bukram they’d dress me with, no layers could hide away what I was.

Basically ugly. Unphotogenic.

Even though I was loved, it came with a condition of me not learning to love myself.

I was always conscious. No one bothered to teach me to love and accept myself.

On the contrary it was the exact opposite, I had to layer up in bukrams to not look like a stick or pull my unruly curly hair in tight pony tails making my head ache, only so they could think I was having a civilized upbringing.

What would have it been like , to be told then,

“darling you are beautiful with your wild hair, and caramel skin. No matter what you weigh, don’t let your heart be dismayed. We love you, and you should love every part of you.Because beauty lies within.”

Would I have learnt to love myself differently?

But it didn’t happen that way.

Self loving was and is probably a selfish thought , as per them. Knowing the way I’m brought up, I should put others  before me. Being selfless is the key to live a good life.

Is it ? Being human and selfless all the time, made me realise I’m always paying the price for disappointments and expectations. When will I learn to love, respect and accept every atom in my body ?

They don’t understand that it’s a necessity for every child to learn to accept themselves before they can accept the world as it is.

If these children haven’t conquered their inner most demons, how will they withstand the trials of this journey ? But no, fitting in was more important lesson then helping them gear up for life battles through self acceptance.

Ofcourse, as I hit puberty, my body changed, I did gain weight. And guess what , now they have words like pumpkin and fat ass for me.

The name calling never changes in time. Does it ?

You are either too thin or too fat!

what’s perfect to fit in? exactly? I never felt that, I won’t ever know what it is like to be loved for being the perfect puzzle fitting everyone’s expectations?

Even though with the weight I gained, I kinda became abit photogenic, so I’m kinda cute, not beautiful, mind you, that’s something only for the perfect shaped fair beauties. Beautiful is a word I hardly came across.

Have you ever tried telling your kid how beautiful they are, how beautiful their heart is ?

That’s a beautiful way to soar their spirit, But naaah, I’m sorry you’ll are always busy teaching them to fit in the world.

Why the hell can’t you’ll realize, that not all are meant to fit in ? Why can’t you let them be ?

Sometimes you don’t have to teach your child what is right, have faith in them, and let them decide. If you taught them well, they will do good. And if they fumble, teach them, that it is okay, that they can rise, that they are loved for what they are. They don’t have to be like someone else, rather just be themselves , the true self their spirit belongs to. Stop comparing them to their siblings and friends. Each one is different. Whilst they lack what the others have, they have something that others don’t, instead of boiling and cursing on what they lack, why can’t you appreciate what they have ?

How difficult is it ? To only say a few kind words with a warm smile, assuring them, that you accept them even if the world doesn’t.

So when I faced a tough life situation, where I had to let go of what I wanted, because it was toxic and degrading me. I was raw , and bare and cut open, with so much anxiety, pain and no self love. Always wondering what went wrong ?

What did I lack ? questioning my existence. Not having faith in my purpose ? What was I doing here ? Why am I breathing ?  Am I that unwanted? Can no one learn to love me ?

How can they , when I can’t?

I learnt it the harsh way, when I thought it was too late to, I’m not yet done learning to fully love and accept my self. But I’m working on it.

Baby steps, small steps, a step forward is a way forward.

And I tell you it isn’t selfish to self love, it is a wonderful way to self accept the inner most being you are. And that acceptance fuels your confidence and builds your belief in yourself.

It is very crucial to love oneself before you can love others. Because only then you have love within, love enough to share.

Harbor and harness that inner love, let it grow, and then you shall see the change, where you can feel the beauty gush out from within you to around you. You will have a wonderful vision of life and live even more peacefully in a world, that you need not fear, need not be forced to fit in, because you don’t have to, you can stand out, and make others believe in their true authentic self. Because that is enough. You are enough.

I am enough. More than enough.

Perfection- Not mine to claim!

What is it with us trying to see perfection in everything & anything? We expect our neighbor to be flawless… don’t we? Like do this ..do that .. and never do anything wrong to us? Oh please! Are we all perfect? How can we expect perfection from others when we can’t claim it for ourselves? Do you really think you are perfect? That you can do things flawlessly? Is that so? Ok than tell me what’s perfect about you? What work have you flawlessly done? Have you been fair to all people you meet? Do you think you have no flaws at all? Haven’t you committed mistakes?

The spec in our vision while pointing the flaws of others is actually the flaw in us. Mathew 7:3 ” Why do you see the chip in your brother’s eye, and not notice the plank in your own eye?”

There are many moments when we fail to see what is wrong with us , but we very much love to see the flaws in the others- true right?

Sometimes criticism comes handy. ‘Take it’ from people who assess you. ‘See’ if it is true or not. ‘Discard’ what doesn’t belong to you. ‘Treat’ what does-‘ patiently’. ‘Change’ yourself if it can make you something better -accordingly.

Mind you:- you gotta learn to deal with criticism the best way. If you are too sensitive than you’re not the best user of it, but you’ll simply end up abusing yourself further. So strive to be stronger and insensitive to things you’re better off -without sparing a second thought to.

We can all strive for perfection. But perfection is really not our’s claim. There is a flaw in everything. It could be so minute that our normal vision doesn’t allow us to see it. The only Perfection is GOD- the most Divine presence.

I know this could be ironical to most of our thoughts. You could possibly argue saying what about the perfect paintings and Sculptures and monuments and stuff? Well, all I’ll say is. Things can be near-to-perfect. We end up tagging them perfect anyway. Even I do. Like tagging a blissful day as the most perfect ever. It’s not wrong. Cause in our human vision, since we havn’t seen the true perfection, anything alil more than the best amazing thing happened to us- becomes perfection for us. It’s normal. But in true sense- Perfection is something more than we can understand, see or imagine. 39b1f2415024daf1759b1359d6c84677

Some flaws we have are something that actually define us. Its wise not to even try to get rid of such. Because -they distinguish us from the others. They form a part of our unique identity. Loving our imperfections, and striving to be perfect, knowing we cannot be truly perfect, but we can of course be Near-to-perfect—Is how we can be better than simply imperfect.

We can try to be like God. But we cannot be God.

Life is a cluster of imperfect and near perfect moments and things. Weave it all soundly. And you might as well have a fine design before you. Enjoy weaving.