#5 Random thought of the day

(WHEN WE ARE DEMOTIVATED AND WE FEEL WORTHLESS….. )
Sometimes we gotta thank these people who underestimate us, look down on us and make us feel like crap in living daylights.
They can snap the fiery spirit back to life to accept the challenge to prove them wrong.

When things dont work with a pat, a slap does it.

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I give you the lil hope I have..

Dear friend,
This may not be much, since we cant expect God to help us ,when we dont help ourselves. But than I feel, like every failure is a blessing in disguise,and this phase may be alil more  disappointing now, but then I have this thought ,if it was my child  in place of me ,at this moment where I feel distraught, I wouldn’t give up on her, and so, God being my eternal Father, wont give up on me , and that’s enough to keep me going. I’ll be fine. Regardless of where I end up,  I can make my life good ,if I have God with me. Am not gonna let negativity make me feel any lesser,  Even though I failed myself in more ways than one, God wont.

I wont expect a miracle. But I’ll expect courage and peace from above. It’s a storm ahead. But after a few weeks it will be a nightmare of the past. And I hope this is a lesson enough to help me sail better..

I’m in a worse situation than you.. when I should be having a sound job, and helping my family. Being dependent at this age, and still struggling to get my life in order is something that makes me feel like an utter disappointment to many.

I believe am in this tunnel, on my way out.. even you are.. and lets remember at the end of every tunnel -there is light.

I’m not suicidal. Because  I’ve always been an anti-suicidal person,  even though I can’t stand people who do that to their parents and loved ones, But they have their reasons and I have mine. I knw how they feel. I get those disgusting thoughts too, but if I dint try my best to win,  I cannot lose.  It’s a lost cause now,  but not forever.

One bad chapter, and a horrifying storm is not the end. There’s more. There’s gotta be. Life has ample of opportunities. There’s lots of good to do and more better to be.

I have some more of nightmares ahead of me. I can already picture the monsters creeping on the way ahead. And if I dint try to fight them and move on, I will have to let go of a dream.
And that, is suicidal in a way.

No one loves giving up on a dream. And choosing other alternatives. But sometimes we have to do what will help us thrive better.

So let’s see what happens.
This may be a negative phase. But I know. I’ll survive. There’s hope.

This hereunder is my Bible blessing for the day:
Genesis 24:50
“Since this matter comes from the Lord, it is not for us to make a decision.”

My interpretation:
Sometimes we face situations where we cannot decide what to choose, because the path is already paved (chosen) for us and we just have to go with the flow.

You are on this path for a purpose, it is the great plan of the Almighty.

He has got you, stop getting worried. Remember at the end of the tunnel is where the light shines. Let not the darkness bother you.
Leave it all to God, your fears and anxiety, let Him decide for you. He knows what’s best for you.

You are not a disappointment but a blessing.
You are not a failure but His victorious child.
He will help you.
Do not doubt it. He is your shield.

Moreover you are a pawn in His Hand. In the hands of a winner , in the hands of Victory Himself, you are safe.  He will not toy you, but keep you safe and will grant you peace.

Open up to let him decide and bless you . Trust in Him.

Much love,

Leandra.

#2 Positive Vibes for you

When you have an idea, start on it right away. Because Tomorrow its stale & might not interest you so much as now. MOMENTS of inspiration are your highest points of raw productive energy – use it , drill it….

and SUGARRRR

” you’ve certainly made something wonderful today that tomorrow couldn’t do for you.”

Depression- the world disease.

Depression is like a gigantic wave of tsunami  that snatches away all hopes of happiness and peace. It makes you feel like you’re drowning, hopeless, shattered, broken, miserable, pathetic, loser, worthless, suicidal, lost, afraid, anxious, low on self esteem and blaah !

It is like a blanket choking you inside out. Crashing you within. Fading away all good memories or reasons to feel good.

Its something very serious. Our world today is infested by this disease. Its not a thing that people can joke about. Some people get treated and medicated for this. But not all have the access to luxury. Not all are bold to ask for help. We all are too egoistical and society oriented. We just want to fit in without been thrown out no matter how tough it gets to breathe.

People who dont know what others go through have no right to mock them. They know nothing of how they struggle within and how brave it is to smile despite the feeling of being internally hit by a truck. The injury is not physical, not obvious to the human eyes, but its there. Its an emotional deep wound. That perhaps gets healed in time and also by being with the right set of understanding people that help you cope and learning and practicing the therapy of self love and respect.

If everyone knew the struggle on the rough road, no one would dare mock the other.

The world needs a check on humanity.
Depression is caused by  various things. It could be death, betrayal, business loss, career freak outs, broken marriage, hopeless parents, or children gone astray, . It can be just any thing. You cannot even imagine. Its like there’s this thing you are obsessed about, and when things go downhill, you dont know how to cope. Its trying to figure out the mess. But in trying to sort it you feel getting into deeper shit.

You’ll find a way out eventually. Dont worry. Its not a permanent phase if you rekindle a fighter spirit in you. Just dont give in. Dont stop fighting it.

It sure makes you come out stronger and wiser. Remember  the struggle of a caterpillar in its cocoon , when it finally comes out , its something it never was before. Its a vibrant butterfly. Wings and colours. The caterpillar itself weaves the cocoon from which it hasto break free one day. Similarly we dig our oceans of depression drowning deeper, and only when we feel suffocated – we struggle and kick our limbs in the water. How else will you learn to swim ashore if you dont kick in , and fight at the odds and try to come out of the depths?

What an overwhelming feeling that is to overcome something that scared you to death!

The most common thing people tend to say  in these times “its time to move on , let go, leave it behind.”

Its annoying sometimes , but hey they are just looking out for you. No need to get all hulk on them for being worried about you.

Letting go is not forgetting the torment,
But letting go is feeling  that whatever depressed you in the past, no longer haunts you. Its that moment when you come at peace with yourself.

Be brave. Its not easy climbing uphill when there’s no path carved. But you can reach out to the top , if you dont give in and be determined to keep your focus on where you need to be.

You can , if you wish. And if you Will.

#1 Positive vibes for you

Hey buddy,…just go out there and enjoy the positive vibes. YoU’re more than the things that stress you out and truly wonderful..incredibly beautiful inside out. Let no one make you even once doubt that. .. we all need a fairytale.. but not the fairytale we read when small.. a fairytale where we learn to love ourselves regardless if the world will or not.. breathe out the pain and anxiety and breathe in happiness.. you can do this.. time for self happiness.. Time for nuturing and pampering yourself.. take a break.. and smile ..let the sun brighten you within.. No rat-spirit should kill your lion-spirit. You are over and above the lowlives that hurt you. If they can’t give you respect , its time you keep your self respect in check and gush on your merry way away from People pulling the wrong strings.

You dont have to lower your selfrespect standards for anyone, thats not compromising, that’s like your willing to butcher away your true self. Dont you dare do that.

You are worth more than petty pig opinions of poeple who really need to get their lives sorted out instead of having a gala time muddling yours.

If you are on your anxiety boats, sail to the seas of optimism, self discovery and self devotion.

You deserve a vacation to recharge yourself every once in a while. Remember YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE.

Lifeless eyes that cut through my soul…

I was all merrily laughing over something mom and dad were talking about. Times like these I wouldn’t trade for anything else in the world. The moments where I have peace, because I’m home. And my home is with them. Though there’s a part of me who wished my brother was there too, I know he’ll be around soon.

With that thought I looked out my window to see the cars around trying to fit in the tiniest place available on the road to move forward. Traffic jams! I sigh thinking of all us in a rush impatient to get somewhere, maybe home.

What I didn’t expect was to see this tragic scene that unfolded right before my eyes. And the time passed. Our car was stuck there for a few moments. Giving me enough view of what lay on the road side, leaving me in a dread.
The broken water Jar, the teen lying limp and bloody. The man holding her in his arms, who’s eyes stared back at me, right through my soul burning holes. Lifeless, horrified, shocked and lost. Those eyes spoke volumes and I couldn’t shake off this feeling.

And then our car moved forward, leaving behind what shook me from within. All those cries and shouts faded away as dad sped up so people behind would stop mercilessly honking.

She died-the newspaper informed me today. And that man held her for dear life, hoping she would breathe again. One moment we were oblivious of what happens around us, and the next moment I was staring at Fear. Fear of losing people I love.

Hopeless and shattered… I felt his pain..surely not even a fraction of what he must be feeling… How many people lose their lives everyday? How many of us dont wanto go home ? Don’t want to see the people we love ? And then in moments like the last, before its all over, in our pain , when we are sick and scared, we want to cry out saying
” Mom, please take me home.”

How must have that man ( I assume is her father), felt to lose the apple of his eye ?

We all know the pain of losing people we love. Because in everyones life the moments come. We are all human afterall. Mortal beings. Dust -to which we shall go.

I prayed all way home hoping she would survive. But she didn’t. I prayed for all the people I love that they may be protected.

And I prayed for the people in situations like these , losing their lives, the families, the homes that grieve.

This day , is one I will never forget. Because those eyes spoke volumes of grief. Those eyes held utter desperation. Those eyes that looked lifeless.
May she find peace in her eternal abode. And may all families that grieve have courage to grow stronger in the Lord.

This here is a tribute to the man who lost his lil girl. My words will not reach you. My words will not heal you. I have no idea what the bigger plan of God is. But I have compassion. And I will pray for peace for all who feel lifeless when alive.
LIFE IS SHORT INDEED. ITS JUST A MOMENT AND WE ARE GONE. THERE’S NO TURNING BACK. WE CAN’T CHOOSE WHERE WE DIE, WHEN WE BREATHE OUR LAST. HOW WE LOSE OUR LIFE.
I want my life to be more meaningful, and maybe its PRAYER for now that answers the turmoil in my head. I WILL PRAY.

(18.04.2016 …)

Prayer in times of confusion and chaos.

OH CHRIST ALMIGHTY LORD,
You knew me before I was born,
You know me now,
You know everything about my yesterdays, todays and tomorrows.
I seek Your divine guidance ( the matter)
in making the right choice.
You know all that has ever been and all that ever shall be.
Help me Lord to do Your Will, to walk the path that You have chosen for me.
Help me call out to You when satan attacks amidst anxiety , chaos ,confusion, stress, sadness, grief, guilt, self loathing, anger, ……

Find out if there is any evil in me , cleanse me, heal me and guide me in the most everlasting way.
You Oh Lord, my God are all powerful. I am powerless. Without You I am nothing.  With You I have everything. Let my Faith be bigger than my fears.

If in Your knowledge, (this matter) is good for me , then make this path easy for me Lord. I seek your blessings wilst I walk this path.

But if in Your knowledge, (this matter) is bad for me, then my God, My Good Shepherd, turn it away from me and turn me away from it.
You , My Father, My comforter, the joy of my spirit, You give me all that is good.
Wherever I may be , You call me by my name, You call me Your child. You listen to my cries, You never forsake .
Help me Father be pleased with Your plans for me and help me remember that Your plans will bring me prosperity and peace.

Thank you Father. Praise you Jesus. Adore you Holy Spirit.
Amen.

Words. Some false. Some harshly true. – Let it cast a magical spell. Over me and you..!!

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