I’m an ocean.

Feels good… to do this..

______________ .

.  I’m an ocean,

sometimes calm,

sometimes raving,

I’m water,

that is living,

depths of me are hidden and discreet,

not all can reach,

not all can seek,

I’m not blue,

I’m not white,

I’m a colour 

that you decide,

I can calm you,

give you peace,

or snatch away your lil ease,

I’m no bubble 

for you to burst,

I’m no mirror 

for you to adjust,

I’m an ocean,

with hidden treasures,

some sunk ships,

alil wrecks,

alil leaks,

alot more life in my depths,

mysterious and always luring.
#leeevibes

#artistdiaries #writerdiaries #writerden #artistden #paintwrite #create #creativemodeon #creativityissoullust
#abstractart #abstract #espression #artist #instagood #artexpression #woods #trees #colours #fusion #explosion #instagood #instamood

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Dear Future Husband #14

Hey love,

I was chatting with my friend, and she’s like where do I get these words from ? 

Words that I write for you …

Guess what I said ?

Romance hasn’t died in me , even though I’m happily single in the season of waiting . But it might just get over, since I’m pouring it all over here, so probably when you do turn up, my quota of romance might need some serious restocking. 😉

On a good note, I’m being formal I know, but it sounds crazier this way, haughty english style, I’ve been thinking. 

And me & thinking get along too damn well, and  totally out of proportion. 

When we do fall for each other, and we keep falling every day, more and more in love, I will be there to hold you, your hand, and squeeze it in reassurance when you need a boost if confidence. Love, I do not want to be your weakness, but if I am, then I’ll be honoured, but I will be proud to be your strength, and I hope we learn to be this rock of strength for each other.

I don’t see love just like strolling down the beach, getting all steamy and flirty and teasing and being totally love sick, but I see us being able to talk to each other, without the need to look at our phones every minute we are together, without the need of trying to hunt for topics to get rid of awkward silences, without the need of trying so hard to explain so either of us would understand, I see us smiling in comfortable silence, not needing too many words to understand , and respecting each other’s presence.

I know that relationships need work, and it’s not always a dream that would weave a web of magic in reality . We shall face all sorts of situations, where we might need to take decisions that might not sit well with either of us, I might be for it but you might not be and so on. 

But I want you to know , I will hold no grudge. I do not want regrets, but I will not stop you from chasing your dreams or building them, I will help you and encourage you and pray with you. But if it is something wrong for you, I will speak my mind aloud and let you know why.

I will expect the same from you love, correct me when I’m wrong. 

As much as a passion filled romance is thrilling and lovely, I know we will have ours too. But I would want ours to be such that would make some sigh and bless us, and not want to puke and tell us to stop.

You might even get a few letters from me, time and again once we do be with each other, but I assure you , I’m not gonna be the one to bombard my feed and yours with stories of Tom, Dick and Harry that spy on every moment of our life.

Here’s a scene I imagine, because I do see it happen to my parents quite often, they are still very possessive about each other, so there’s like a party we attend, and we are ignorant of the vibes we each give away. You trying to signal that I’m yours and me trying to ward off the attention you get by staking my claim , grabbing your hand, or even gnawing at it. 

Hahaha… It will be funny. Don’t you think ?

I will be a wee bit possessive of you and there will be times I might face jealousy, but I want you to know, that it will not be to cause you irritation, but to only try to soothe my endangered heart. Whilst I hope you will make me believe that we belong, like we are a match made in heaven, I would love to feel all that a journey with you will bring our way.

And from jealousy, to clashing thoughts, to decisions we dont agree together on, may we someday learn to love in our individual spirits to respect the space of each other, and accept at heart that no matter how different we may think or believe, we will live in harmony of our differences and imperfections.

Much love my dearest.

I pray My God takes good care of you,

Until He decides it’s  time for us to meet,

Your future rambling bride.

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He’s still working on me.

A thing I realised..

In this moment when I am so involved, so enthralled  in creating, blending , finishing, and making something of what’s at hand, I know that this work in process will be complete in it’s time.


I am a work in process too.

And God is my creator, my moulder, my potter, my artist !

As He reshapes, redesigns, blends my life, and all else in it, He is indeed creating a master piece.
The more time. The best it will be.
Since I’m not done here. In a while I will be.
And since He’s not done with me, Someday He will.
Waiting is beautiful in its own way. 

Reminder :

Dear Friend,

Take time to pause, once in a while and breathe in the serenity of Life that God offers amidst every storm, chaos, confusion or a happy patch. Take time to realize that we all are His work in progress. Some finished, some semi finished, some He is working on simultaneously, some he has left in the furnace to become strong, and hold together every part of what’s made of us.

Some of us are like wet clay, that needs dry clay so we are reshaped and reformed. The techniques our divine Potter will use to mould us into the best beings we can be are infinite and unbelievably beautiful.

This journey from work in process to finished us, is a journey not alone ours, but that of Our God with us, His help, his guidance, we need Him to mould us and ready us for what awaits.

And thus , instead of believing that we are whole and don’t need any more help in our journey from semi finished pieces of creation to Master pieces of our Great God, let us be open to Him. Let us wait on Him. And let us believe & have faith that our Lord will make the most of us in His wonderful ways.

Stay blest. Stay connected with God.

much love ,

from one Work in process to another.
#leeevibes 

P.s. Only because I fall in love with unfinished art more then the finished one.. The making is the most inspiring, beautiful , soothing, peaceful , enchanting and magical process.

………….…………………………….……………………..………….…..……


I’m pondering on the words of this hymn ↓

He's still working on me
To make me what I need to be
It took him just a week to make the moon and stars 
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars
How loving and patient He must be
'Cause He's still workin' on me


There really ought to be a sign upon my heart 
Don't judge him yet, there's an unfinished part
But I'll be better just according to His plan
Fashioned by the Master's loving hands


In the mirror of His word
 Reflections that I see
 Makes me wonder why He never gave up on me
But He loves me as I am and helps me when I pray
 Remember He's the potter, I'm the clay
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#14 Her_thoughts

For years,

all she learnt was what people hate

about her,

and their hate,

became what she hated too.

What they said,

became what she believed.

Until it became so unbearable,

that she let go of the hate,

that crushed her whole.

And now all the parts that the world

disapproves about her,

are the very edges she is learning to love,

and all those edges the world envied she had,

are becoming her solace for fresh beautiful starts.

So now when all is hushed,

and all is calm,

even the chaos seems to drift apart.

She is learning to shut it all out,

you, your actions , your words, dear world even your mocking laughs,

I’ve learnt you are brutal ,

but I’ve also learnt you can be warm and kind and motivating and beautiful,

So I will choose to ponder on the good vibes you gush my way,

than the harsh ones that always cause dismay.

(This pic is clicked by me .)

#leeevibes

#grateful

#happy

#saturdayblues

#goodvibes

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#13 Her_thoughts 

Because even in its raw form,

I fell in love,

I twisted the brushes,

and cut through it rough,

layered it with paints,

so all pierced cuts were sealed.

And slowly just as the struggle kicked off,

everything that hurt began to heal.

And so in the chaos,

I found beauty,

beauty that lies deep within,

And in my serenity,

I chose to sing,

even when the lights were bleary dim.
#leeevibes

(this is painted by me…. actually it is the making of one of my masterpieces..  this one is incomplete and raw.)

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The Letter #2

Dear Father in heaven,

How are you? I haven’t asked you that one question for as long as I could remember me praying to you.

We have spoken, we shared our views through your Word. Your Holy words have always guided me. Yet I wonder why didn’t I ask you How you are doing, perhaps thinking You are The great God, and you certainly would be doing good. Forgive me for taking you for granted dear Father.

Dear Lord, I have failed you endless times, and yet each time you show me the way back. The way back to you is in Prayer, Holy Eucharist and through Your Word alone.

It’s been ages , I haven’t written to you.  I have been procrastinating on our letters. I have been putting off our talks. These talks that make me feel lighter and glad and calm.

I could feel that strange sense of being over burdened, those sounds of a complaining soul in me. I could feel me going astray and trying to find answers. Answers to why you would do this to me.

I knew in it all, I am no one to judge, I who lack the wisdom you have, I who lack the understanding of your plans for me, I who fail to see that you are in the centre of my chaos, I who lack faith in the times of storms , when I know you can help me tread on rough seas. You can help me walk through anything. 

Because you are infinite. You are divine. You know everything. You are everywhere. You are omni potent, You are eternal, You are love. You are hope. You are faith. You are my father.

Whatever I feel, you feel. Whatever hurts me, hurts you. And you are always there.

As we often face storms, tough life situations, You are there, even when we question Your presence, You are with us. We fail to see this Lord, because we focus on our storms, on the chaos, on the mess that we are, instead of keeping our eyes fixed on you, we fail to see that in the midst of it all is You. All You want us to learn is to focus on You in turmoils ,weakness and moments of exasperations.

Because you are peace. You are serenity. You are heaven and the glimpse of true happiness, true love, true mercy. You are the fountain of forgiveness. 

We wrong you Father, all of us, Your very own, we hurt You, we blame You, we call You names- unjust unkind, we question Your plans, we crave for happiness without experiencing pain and hardships , and often forget that You too can feel pain, pain that we all feel, you feel it much more intensely. 

Pain that Jesus felt, dying on the cross, feeling You abandoned Him, You felt it much more, because You were there with Him, You died with him, and You rose with Him, altogether, one in the Spirit.

Oh Holy Father, almighty and wonderful, forgive me, I, Your child come to You, forgive me for not understanding and being a judge, when I have no knowledge or wisdom that can redeem generations, I am no judge, I am nothing, but your child, help me Lord, as I come back to You, help me stay calm in every storm and focus on You. Help me help those who have gone astray come back to You. Help me to learn to focus on You and not the mess I feel I am.

Because dear Lord, it is very easy for the evil to combust my mind with endless thoughts of whys and what ifs and question Your plan, help me fight this overthinking trap and believe in You and Your salvation for me. 

Overthinking is the trap of the evil, that often makes us lose focus on God and lose ourselves in the messy storms our mind creates.

There are many of us, prisoners of such chaotic traps, bless us Oh spirit with your Holy gifts :  wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, fear of God alone ;

so we learn to choose to focus on His Holiness and trust in His righteousness always and forever. Because He has not given us a spirit of fear. And we should never fear anything or anyone but God. Because our God is supreme and powerful and just and Mighty and King of kings. Our God is good all the time, and he will make a way where there seems to be no way.

I choose You Lord. I always will.

I know now, I don’t have to feel like I lost You, because You are always with me. Even when I fail to see, I will try to focus on You and have faith on You- My Rock of salvation.

Thank You Father for coming for me.

Thank you Jesus for standing with me.

Thank you Spirit for igniting this flame of faith in me.

Love from the child that will always worship and Praise Your Most Holy Name,

Lea.

(This picture is taken from the internet.)

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Come world, I dare you.

​Look at the flaws,

they scream and screech,

are they as loud

as my insecurities hiss ?

Hey world,

I am here now,

tell me with your brutal tongue,

what you once told me,

am I as limited as your narrow horrid mind ?

Can you see how infinite I am,

as I stand to not heed your ruthless voice,

but to make you listen to my rant ?

I’ve had enough of all the curveballs you could throw my way this past 2 decades,

I fell, got hurt, rose a thousand times, through the dirt,

there was remorse, there was still hope,

that one day, when no one stands for me,

I won’t feel so broke,

and I tell you,

that one day is now,

it’s here, 

so world,

I dare you to fight me the best you can,

this time I ain’t gonna back down,

this time I own my crown,

I own me,

I found my voice,

and I don’t need no one to stand with me,

because I learnt

being brave at heart,

is all I need to face your meaningless wrath.

Come now, and hit me square in my jaw,

I assure ,you will have an equal opposite reaction as Newton explained in his law,

So find my weakness and hit me hard,

I promise

I will come back to smash you with my Acing card.


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Words. Some false. Some harshly true. – Let it cast a magical spell. Over me and you..!!

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