The Letter #2

Dear Father in heaven,

How are you? I haven’t asked you that one question for as long as I could remember me praying to you.

We have spoken, we shared our views through your Word. Your Holy words have always guided me. Yet I wonder why didn’t I ask you How you are doing, perhaps thinking You are The great God, and you certainly would be doing good. Forgive me for taking you for granted dear Father.

Dear Lord, I have failed you endless times, and yet each time you show me the way back. The way back to you is in Prayer, Holy Eucharist and through Your Word alone.

It’s been ages , I haven’t written to you.  I have been procrastinating on our letters. I have been putting off our talks. These talks that make me feel lighter and glad and calm.

I could feel that strange sense of being over burdened, those sounds of a complaining soul in me. I could feel me going astray and trying to find answers. Answers to why you would do this to me.

I knew in it all, I am no one to judge, I who lack the wisdom you have, I who lack the understanding of your plans for me, I who fail to see that you are in the centre of my chaos, I who lack faith in the times of storms , when I know you can help me tread on rough seas. You can help me walk through anything. 

Because you are infinite. You are divine. You know everything. You are everywhere. You are omni potent, You are eternal, You are love. You are hope. You are faith. You are my father.

Whatever I feel, you feel. Whatever hurts me, hurts you. And you are always there.

As we often face storms, tough life situations, You are there, even when we question Your presence, You are with us. We fail to see this Lord, because we focus on our storms, on the chaos, on the mess that we are, instead of keeping our eyes fixed on you, we fail to see that in the midst of it all is You. All You want us to learn is to focus on You in turmoils ,weakness and moments of exasperations.

Because you are peace. You are serenity. You are heaven and the glimpse of true happiness, true love, true mercy. You are the fountain of forgiveness. 

We wrong you Father, all of us, Your very own, we hurt You, we blame You, we call You names- unjust unkind, we question Your plans, we crave for happiness without experiencing pain and hardships , and often forget that You too can feel pain, pain that we all feel, you feel it much more intensely. 

Pain that Jesus felt, dying on the cross, feeling You abandoned Him, You felt it much more, because You were there with Him, You died with him, and You rose with Him, altogether, one in the Spirit.

Oh Holy Father, almighty and wonderful, forgive me, I, Your child come to You, forgive me for not understanding and being a judge, when I have no knowledge or wisdom that can redeem generations, I am no judge, I am nothing, but your child, help me Lord, as I come back to You, help me stay calm in every storm and focus on You. Help me help those who have gone astray come back to You. Help me to learn to focus on You and not the mess I feel I am.

Because dear Lord, it is very easy for the evil to combust my mind with endless thoughts of whys and what ifs and question Your plan, help me fight this overthinking trap and believe in You and Your salvation for me. 

Overthinking is the trap of the evil, that often makes us lose focus on God and lose ourselves in the messy storms our mind creates.

There are many of us, prisoners of such chaotic traps, bless us Oh spirit with your Holy gifts :  wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, fear of God alone ;

so we learn to choose to focus on His Holiness and trust in His righteousness always and forever. Because He has not given us a spirit of fear. And we should never fear anything or anyone but God. Because our God is supreme and powerful and just and Mighty and King of kings. Our God is good all the time, and he will make a way where there seems to be no way.

I choose You Lord. I always will.

I know now, I don’t have to feel like I lost You, because You are always with me. Even when I fail to see, I will try to focus on You and have faith on You- My Rock of salvation.

Thank You Father for coming for me.

Thank you Jesus for standing with me.

Thank you Spirit for igniting this flame of faith in me.

Love from the child that will always worship and Praise Your Most Holy Name,

Lea.

(This picture is taken from the internet.)

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